Kirjahaku

Los Angeles, the City of Angels. At least, that's what the brochure says. What it fails to mention is the earthquakes. Oh, and the flesh-eating creatures that are lying dormant beneath the concrete, waiting for the chance to surface once again.Their wait is over...A quake tears the city apart, but that's the least of the Angelenos' worries. They're about to experience hell on earth. Fossor Scarabaeus - clown-beetles - are emerging from the cracks, and they're not in LA for the sights.An arrogant actor, an action movie director, a B-movie starlet, the owner of a bar and the 'A' Platoon of LAFD must work together to survive the creatures.Or risk becoming dinners for the Skinners...

Simian Knight PI had been shot at once before. Well, not technically shot at, but the bullet had gone past his head. Well, not really past his head, inasmuch as it went past his office building and embedded itself in someone's car. It didn't so much embed in the car as bounce off, as it was one of those foam bullets kids stuff in the end of play guns and run around going, "Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da" with. But the whole unsavoury episode had unsettled Simian Knight PI so much that he became a recluse, took to drinking herbal tea and watching reruns of Downton Abbey until he dreamed of butlers.That was a long time ago, and he got over it. Now he must face his biggest challenge, whena beautiful blonde dame waltzes into his office asking for his help. The trouble is, Simian Knight PI can never say no to a beautiful blonde dame, even if helping her means going up against the mob. Not to mention all the Greek Gods knocking about the city, too.It's his toughest case yet, and it just might be his last, which would be a shame asthere's plenty of potential for a sequel.

Between 1975 and 1978, Larry 'Pigface' Travers terrorised Camp Diamond Creek, killing more than a hundred horny, stoned teens, hacking them to death with his axe (the machete was already taken by some hockey guy over in New Jersey), and making a general nuisance of himself. Life couldn't have been better for a psycho slasher.But in '78, after being outwitted by that year's 'final girl', Pigface found himself trapped (and a little bit on fire). Presumed dead, Larry Travers disappeared, but his legend lived on.It's 2014. Now living in the woods with his overbearing - and slightly antique - mother, Larry's old enough to play bingo and enjoy jigsaw puzzles without feeling guilty. But the urge to kill has returned, and Larry thinks he still has what it takes to be a homicidal lunatic.Pigface is back. Trouble is, he's not as young as he used to be...

Warning: This audiobook contains a sadistic mortician, demonic teddies, murderous sparrows, sentient robots, scenes of the apocalypse, feeders, lycanthropes, serial-killers, war, jealous housewives, cannibalism, creepy-ass neighbours, suicide, flesh-eating parasites, zombies, cowboys, mothmen, Nyogtha, Appalachian folklore, cancer, asteroids, invisible crocodiles, and voodoo.A collection of previously published and brand new macabre and weird tales from best-selling British author, Adam Millard

In a post-apocalyptic world, Lou, a goods trader (batteries, cloth, books, pornographic devices) stumbles upon a new business opportunity when he miraculously begins to lactate. Milk is a rare commodity in a world gone to hell, and so before long everyone in town wants a piece of the action, but there's something not quite right about the milk - other than the fact it came from a fifty year-old man. The milk is bad, turning everyone that consumes it into radioactive mutants with a penchant for human flesh. Now it's up to Lou to put things right, before everyone he knows becomes a milk-guzzling cannibal.Whatever you do, don't drink Lou's Milk...

The town of Bellbrook is digging a new landfill, and they've conceived a brilliant plan for containing the toxins within: lining the hole with old LPs no one listens to anymore. What they don't know, what they couldn't have known, is that their excavation has awakened an ancient evil. An ancient evil with a song now stuck in its head. This is the story of the day the music un-died.

Larry 'Pigface' Travers is back in the sequel at least three people asked for. After being dismembered and torched at the end of the first book, Larry returns (don't they always?), and sets out to butcher Amanda Bateman, the final girl responsible for his grisly death a year earlier. The only problem is, she's now living in the city of Haddon, and has developed a strange telekinetic link with the geriatric slasher. Not only that but she has acquired the assistance of Sister Geoff, a butch and drug-addled nun, who might be the only person capable of destroying Pigface once and for all.

The theatre is packed, the popcorn is still warm and severely overpriced, and the curtains are about to open for the first time. Horror fans have gathered for the annual FearFest convention, and this year, despite the myriad reboots and remakes, an anxious buzz permeates the theatre.It is the premiere of Larry 3D (or Larry 3-SQUEEE, thanks to the assholes behind its marketing campaign). Based upon true events (no, seriously ), the film recreates the rise, demise, and reanimation of Larry 'Pigface' Travers - a remarkable performance by Willem Dafoe which critics are already calling, "Unhinged " and, "Truly awful ".But when the film starts rolling, the terror becomes all too real. Somehow, Pigface has passed through the dimensions, escaped the movie and landed himself slap-bang in the middle of reality. And now he has a theatre filled with horny teenagers to butcher. Magically pursuing a group of survivors in and out of classic horror films - Psycho, Dawn of the Dead, Suspiria, and an accidental stop-off in Labyrinth (where a battle with Jareth's crotch almost sends him back to the grave) - Pigface targets his highest body-count to date.Only one man can stop him.And that man is Willem Dafoe

Ted Barker has been running Barker's Taxidermy Emporium (We stuff things so you can stare at their dead eyes forever ) for decades. Business is booming, thanks to the busy London roads and the stupidity of cats, but when Don Paparella, a local gangster, arrives at the shop, everything changes. The proprietor is gunned down in cold blood, and with seemingly no witnesses, Don Paparella and his lackeys go on with their plot to run London.But the taxidermy saw it all, and now Buffalo Bill, Vladimir the Unicycling Rat, Jemima/Jessica the two-headed duck, Hooter the racist owl, Gerry the baby giraffe, and Fairfax the posh fox, are out for blood. With the help of a pair of 1980s buddy-cops, Ricks and Murtow, the taxidermy will stop at nothing to avenge their creator.Dead animals never pelt so good...

When a new drug is about to hit the L.A. market, it's up to two cops (and one more cop in a shoehorned-in sub-plot) to stop the drugs, take down the bad guys, and try not to get killed... or die trying. When Detective John Expendable is killed in the line of duty, Detective Reginald P. Murtow is forced to take on a new partner, Marvin Ricks, a suicidal live-wire with a list of misdemeanours as long as his mullet. Can they take down the dealers and the huge conglomerate importing this new drug? Will Ricks get the girl, who most probably works for the bad guy? Why does Ricks have a slight Australian accent? Is Murtow too old for this? Meanwhile, NYPD bald-guy, Detective Jim McLeod, is in town to take down the millionaire businessman who seduced his ex-wife, emptied the McLeod bank accounts, sold his kids to traffickers, and threw his dog, Wicksy, in the canal. Big mistake because... McLeod loved the hell out of that dog. Will these plots somehow converge in a clever way? Find out in DIE LETHAL

It's the week before the Land of Christmas Annual Variety Show, and preparations are in full-swing. That is until Ahora of the jigsaw factory mysteriously disappears. Finklefoot is once again called upon by The Fat Bastard to investigate Ahora's mysterious disappearance, which leads him back to an old enemy and the horrors of Christmas past. Meanwhile, Rudolph has attracted the unwanted attention of Merthyr Titful, a seemingly harmless reindeer. She laughs at his jokes, which is helpful at first because he's about to take to the stage at the variety show to test out his new material. When Merthyr's affection turns to obsession, Rudolph tries to distance himself from her.Which is where Merthyr's campaign of terror begins. And Hell hath no fury like a mad reindeer scorned.

When Mike Denver's sister, Kelly, mysteriously vanishes along with her best friend, Jennifer Jones, he enlists the help of Jennifer's distraught father to search for them. The police are seemingly clueless, and time is of the essence, but can Mike help Sam overcome his drinking-to-cope method for long enough to search in earnest?Their rudimentary investigative skills lead them on a journey through the countryside, where they finally arrive at a strange structure not found on any of their maps. A tall, stone wall seemingly stretching for a mile in each direction. Mike and Sam know that whatever lies on the other side has something to do with the girls' disappearance.Nothing can prepare them for what they are about to discover. It quickly becomes clear that they are not wanted in this mysterious, uncharted village, as Mike and Sam find themselves in a fight for survival against an army of robed maniacs. And why is everyone here so... old? All except for one; the beautiful Eve Lockwood.To unlock the mysteries of the village and a curse known only as Centum, Mike and Sam will have to first survive the night.Easier said than done when you're in The Village of C.Proudly represented by Crystal Lake Publishing-Tales from the Darkest Depths.