Kirjahaku

From the author: 'My father doesn't feature much in Running with Scissors. And one of the reasons for this is because he didn't feature much in my life. But there's another reason too: Our relationship was so complicated so dark so confusing and so big that to tell the story would require a book. So finally upon the death of my father in 2005 I decided to tell the story I have been most afraid yet most compelled to tell.' This prequel to international hit Running With Scissors tells the story of Augusten's relationship with his tormented father: a man who sent his wife mad and saw his other son run away from home prior to Augusten going into foster care. Harrowing insightful and amusing by turns.

The #1 New York Times bestselling memoir from Augusten Burroughs, Running with Scissors, now a Major Motion Picture Running with Scissors is the true story of a boy whose mother (a poet with delusions of Anne Sexton) gave him away to be raised by her psychiatrist, a dead-ringer for Santa and a lunatic in the bargain. Suddenly, at age twelve, Augusten Burroughs found himself living in a dilapidated Victorian in perfect squalor. The doctor's bizarre family, a few patients, and a pedophile living in the backyard shed completed the tableau. Here, there were no rules, there was no school. The Christmas tree stayed up until summer, and Valium was eaten like Pez. And when things got dull, there was always the vintage electroshock therapy machine under the stairs.... Running with Scissors is at turns foul and harrowing, compelling and maniacally funny. But above all, it chronicles an ordinary boy's survival under the most extraordinary circumstances.

A NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER about Christmases past and present from the #1 bestselling author of Running with Scissors, Dry, and A Wolf at the Table At eight years old, Augusten Burroughs profoundly misunderstood the meaning of Christmas. Now proving himself once more "a master of making tragedy funny" (The Miami Herald), he shows how the holidays can bring out the worst in us and sometimes, just sometimes, the very best. From the author described in USA Today as "one of the most compelling and screamingly funny voices of the new century" comes a book about surviving the holiday we love to hate, and hate to love.

The hilarious first novel by the #1 bestselling author of Running with Scissors, Dry, A Wolf at the Table, and You Better Not Cry, Sellevision is Augusten Burrough's darkly funny and vastly entertaining skewering of a very troubled home-shopping channel. Welcome to the world of Sellevision, America's premier retail broadcasting network. When Max Andrews, the much loved and handsome (that is, lonely and gay) host of a "Toys for Tots" segment, accidentally exposes himself in front of millions of kids, Sellevision faces its first big scandal. As Max struggles to find a new job in television, the popular and perky host Peggy Jean Smythe is receiving sinister emails from a stalker. Popping pills and drinking heavily, she fails to notice that her husband is spending a lot of time with the young babysitter who lives next door. Then there's Leigh, whose affair with married Sellevision boss Howard Toast is going nowhere until she announces their relationship on air. A blistering satire of our overcharged, scandal-obsessed world, Sellevision is "an absolute howl . . . wicked fun" (New York Daily News).

An unforgettable story of friendship between a curious girl with a rich imagination and a winged thief with a very big heart. Chloe loves many things-bugs, the dark, and especially broken or forgotten objects. But she doesn't seem to care for birds. When a mischievous crow appears in her backyard, Chloe steps out of her comfort zone and offers the curious creature a bite of her lunch. In return, Crow brings Chloe a beautiful button. Inspired by a true account of an unexpected friendship between a young girl and a crow, this thoughtful story explores misunderstandings and the value of everyday treasures.

Young, good-looking and raking in the cash as a successful advertising executive, Augusten has everything going for him...except for his drinking. DRY is his hilarious and moving account of coming off the booze and attempting to live his drunken life sober. It's also a story of love, loss and Starbucks as a higher power.

You may not know it, but you've met Augusten Burroughs. You've seen him on the street, in bars, on the underground, at restaurants: a twenty-something guy, nice suit, works in advertising. Regular. Ordinary. But when the ordinary person had two drinks, Augusten had twelve; when the ordinary person went home at midnight, Augusten never went home at all. At the request (well, it wasn't really a request) of his employers, Augusten lands in rehab, where his dreams of group therapy with Robert Downey Jr are dashed by the grim reality of fluorescent lighting and paper hospital slippers. But when Augusten is forced to examine himself, that's when he finds himself in the worst trouble of all. Because when his thirty days are up, he has to return to his same drunken life - and live it sober.

If you're fat and fail every diet, if you're thin but can't get thin enough, if you lose your job, if your child dies, if you are diagnosed with cancer, if you always end up with exactly the wrong kind of person, if you always end up alone, if you can't get over the past, if your parents are insane and ruining your life, if you really and truly wish you were dead, if you feel like it's your destiny to be a star, if you believe life has a grudge against you, if you don't want to have sex with your spouse and don't know why, if you feel so ashamed, if you're lost in your life, if you have ever wondered, How am I supposed to survive this? This is how.

The Tenth Anniversary Edition of the New York Times bestselling book that has sold over half a million copies in paperback. "I was addicted to "Bewitched" as a kid. I worshipped Darren Stevens the First. When he'd come home from work and Samantha would say, 'Darren, would you like me to fix you a drink' He'd always rest his briefcase on the table below the mirror in the foyer, wipe his forehead with a monogrammed handkerchief and say, 'Better make it a double.'" (from Chapter Two) You may not know it, but you've met Augusten Burroughs. You've seen him on the street, in bars, on the subway, at restaurants: a twentysomething guy, nice suit, works in advertising. Regular. Ordinary. But when the ordinary person had two drinks, Augusten was circling the drain by having twelve; when the ordinary person went home at midnight, Augusten never went home at all. Loud, distracting ties, automated wake-up calls and cologne on the tongue could only hide so much for so long. At the request (well, it wasn't really a request) of his employers, Augusten lands in rehab, where his dreams of group therapy with Robert Downey Jr. are immediately dashed by grim reality of fluorescent lighting and paper hospital slippers. But when Augusten is forced to examine himself, something actually starts to click and that's when he finds himself in the worst trouble of all. Because when his thirty days are up, he has to return to his same drunken Manhattan life--and live it sober. What follows is a memoir that's as moving as it is funny, as heartbreaking as it is true. Dry is the story of love, loss, and Starbucks as a Higher Power.

'Here’s a partial list of things I don’t believe in: God. The Devil. Heaven. Hell. Bigfoot. Ancient Aliens. Past lives. Vampires. Zombies. Homeopathy. Note that “witches” and “witchcraft” are absent from this list. When really they should be right there at the top. The thing is, I wouldn’t believe in them, and I would privately ridicule any idiot who did, except for one thing: I am a witch.' - From Toil & Trouble For as long as Augusten Burroughs could remember, he knew things he shouldn't have known. He manifested things that shouldn't have come to pass. And he told exactly no one about this, save one person: his mother. His mother reassured him that it was all perfectly normal, that he was descended from a long line of witches, going back to the days of the Pendle witches of Lancashire, England. It was a bond that he and his mother shared - until the day she left him in the care of her psychiatrist to be raised in his family (but that's a whole other story). After that, Augusten was on his own. From the hilarious to the terrifying, Toil & Trouble is a chronicle of one man's journey to understand himself, to reconcile the powers he can wield with things with which he is helpless. There are very few coincidences, as you will learn. Ghosts are real, trees can want to kill you, beavers are the spawn of Satan, houses are alive, and in the end, love is the most powerful magic of all.

The #1 New York Times BestsellerAn Entertainment Weekly Top Ten Book of the YearNow a Major Motion PictureThis is the true story of a boy who wanted to grow up with the Brady Bunch, but ended up living with the Addams Family. Augusten Burroughs's mother gave him away to be raised by her psychiatrist, a dead ringer for Santa Claus and a certifiable lunatic into the bargain. The doctor's bizarre family, a few patients and a sinister man living in the garden shed completed the tableau. The perfect squalor of their dilapidated Victorian house, there were no rules and there was no school. The Christmas tree stayed up until summer and Valium was chomped down like sweets. And when things got a bit slow, there was always the ancient electroshock therapy machine under the stairs...'This is the Brady Bunch on Viagra... it is impossible not to laugh at all the jokes; to admire the sardonic, fetid tone; to wonder, slack-jawed and agog, at the sheer looniness of the vista he conjures up' -- Rachel Cooke, Observer

From the #1 New York Times bestselling author of Running with Scissors comes Augusten Burroughs's most provocative memoir. Outrageously fuinny and scorchingly honest.You may not know it, but you've met Augusten Burroughs. You've seen him on the street, in bars, on the underground, at restaurants: a twenty-something guy, nice suit, works in advertising. Regular. Ordinary. But when the ordinary person had two drinks, Augusten had twelve; when the ordinary person went home at midnight, Augusten never went home at all. At the request (well, it wasn't really a request) of his employers, Augusten lands in rehab, where his dreams of group therapy with Robert Downey Jr are dashed by the grim reality of fluorescent lighting and paper hospital slippers. But when Augusten is forced to examine himself, that's when he finds himself in the worst trouble of all. Because when his thirty days are up, he has to return to his same drunken life - and live it sober.

A collection of autobiographical short stories, small vignettes of his life experiences, universal in their appeal yet unabashedly intimate and very funny.From the #1 bestselling author of Running with Scissors and Dry comes a contagiously funny, heartwarming, shocking, twisted, and absolutely magical collection. True stories that give voice to the thoughts we all have but dare not mention. It begins with a Tang Instant Breakfast Drink television commercial when Augusten was seven. Then there is the contest of wills with the deranged cleaning lady. The execution of a rodent carried out with military precision and utter horror. Telemarketing revenge. Dating an undertaker and much more. A collection of true stories that are universal in their appeal yet unabashedly intimate and very funny.

The hilarious first novel by the #1 bestselling author of Running with Scissors, Dry, A Wolf at the Table, and You Better Not Cry, Sellevision is Augusten Burrough's darkly funny and vastly entertaining skewering of a very troubled home-shopping channel.Welcome to the world of Sellevision, premier retail broadcasting network. When Max Andrews, the much loved and handsome (that is, lonely and gay) host of a "Toys for Tots" segment, accidentally exposes himself in front of millions of kids, Sellevision faces its first big scandal. As Max struggles to find a new job in television, the popular and perky host Peggy Jean Smythe is receiving sinister emails from a stalker. Popping pills and drinking heavily, she fails to notice that her husband is spending a lot of time with the young babysitter who lives next door. Then there's Leigh, whose affair with married Sellevision boss Howard Toast is going nowhere until she announces their relationship on air. A blistering satire of our overcharged, scandal-obsessed world, Sellevision is "an absolute howl . . . wicked fun" (New York Daily News)

From the #1 New York Times bestselling author of Running with Scissors comes Augusten Burroughs's most provocative collection of true stories yet. From nicotine gum addiction to lesbian personal ads to incontinent dogs, Possible Side Effects mines Burroughs's life in a series of uproariously funny essays. These are stories that are uniquely Augusten, with all the over-the-top hilarity of Running with Scissors,the erudition of Dry, and the breadth of Magical Thinking. A collection that is universal in its appeal and unabashedly intimate, Possible Side Effects continues to explore that which is most personal, mirthful, disturbing, and cherished, with unmatched audacity. A cautionary tale in essay form. Be forewarned--hilarious, troubling, and shocking results might occur.

Of course you've eaten too much chocolate at Christmas, but have you ever eaten the face off a six-foot-stuffed Santa? You've seen gingerbread houses, but have you ever made your own gingerbread block of flats? You've woken up with a hangover, but have you ever woken up lying next to Kris Kringle himself? Augusten Burroughs has, and in this caustically funny, nostalgic, poignant, and moving collection of true stories, he recounts Christmases past and present - as only he can.With gimlet-eyed wit, Augusten Burroughs shows how Christmas can bring out the worst in us and sometimes - just sometimes - the very, very best.

Omaelämäkerrallisella menestysromaanillaan Juoksee saksien kanssa maailmanmaineeseen kohonneen Augusten Burroughsin Kuivilla jatkaa kirjailijan hämmästyttävän elämän kuvausta. New Yorkiin muuttanut ja mainosalalla työskentelevä Augusten on menestynyt nuori uraohjus. Ja paatunut alkoholisti. Yhtälö ei voi kestää loputtomiin, ja niinpä pomo antaakin Augustenille tasan kaksi vaihtoehtoa: vieroitushoito tai potkut. Tästä alkaa ronskilla itseironialla ja huumorilla sävytetty matka alkoholista vieroittumiseen ja uuteen parempaan, tai ainakin totaalisen erilaiseen elämään. Pohjimmiltaan Kuivilla on välillä hillittömän hauska, välillä riipaisevan surullinen tarina ystävyydestä, rakkaudesta ja menetysten hyväksymisestä. Ja jälleen kerran voi vain ihmetellä, että Burroughs on ylipäätään elossa kaiken kokemansa jälkeen.

Mahdolliset sivuvaikutukset -kirjoituskokoelmaa suositellaan käytettäväksi nautintoa, todellisuuspakoa, viihdykettä, valaistumista tai yleistä huvittelua varten. Kirja ei sovi häiriökäyttäytymisen kuten nettiriippuvuuden tai maanisen sokkotreffailun hoitoon. Tutkimukset ovat osoittaneet joissain käyttäjissä pakonomaista naurua, pistelyä jäsenissä ja yhtäkkistä hengenhaukkomista. Herkistymistä saattaa ilmetä nukkejen keräilijöissä, epäkohteliaissa autokuskeissa, karamelliyhtiöiden markkinointihenkilöissä ja nikotiinituotteiden käyttäjissä. Kirja on osoittautunut erityisen hyödylliseksi niille, joilla on vanhemmat, isovanhemmat, elämänkumppani tai pidätyskyvytön koira. Ihmiset, joilla on kuiva ja halkeillut iho, samoin kuin ne joilla on tiettyjä sydänoireita, ovat reagoineet hyvin tähän kirjaan.Raskaan kaluston käyttöä tulee välttää lukemisen aikana ennen kuin tiedät mitä vaikutuksia kirjalla on sinuun. Kirja ei vaikuta tiettyjä psyykkisiä oireita sairastaviin kuten niihin jotka kärsivät kyvyttömyydestä nauttia. Kysy lääkäriltäsi Mahdollisista sivuvaikutuksista.

Omaelämäkerrallisella menestysromaanillaan Juoksee saksien kanssa maailmanmaineeseen kohonneen Augusten Burroughsin Kuivilla jatkaa kirjailijan hämmästyttävän elämän kuvausta. New Yorkiin muuttanut ja mainosalalla työskentelevä Augusten on menestynyt nuori uraohjus. Ja paatunut alkoholisti. Yhtälö ei voi kestää loputtomiin, ja niinpä pomo antaakin Augustenille tasan kaksi vaihtoehtoa: vieroitushoito tai potkut. Tästä alkaa ronskilla itseironialla ja huumorilla sävytetty matka alkoholista vieroittumiseen ja uuteen parempaan, tai ainakin totaalisen erilaiseen elämään. Pohjimmiltaan Kuivilla on välillä hillittömän hauska, välillä riipaisevan surullinen tarina ystävyydestä, rakkaudesta ja menetysten hyväksymisestä. Ja jälleen kerran voi vain ihmetellä, että Burroughs on ylipäätään elossa kaiken kokemansa jälkeen.