Kirjahaku

On this particular Friday night in June, Jackie Mattock was having the big one A major meltdown was in progress even though she should be joyous. Even though her son was getting married tomorrow, she had lost herself; her heart, her brain were all frozen in time. For the last twenty-five years, she had lived a lie so terrible that she used all of her "get out of jail free" cards. She had nowhere to turn to, no one to help her. There was no one there to dry her tears. Jackie sank deeper into the tub until her breasts were almost submerged. She took her washcloth and scrubbed at her face. Maybe if I rub hard enough, I won't cry, she thought. But it didn't do any good. The tears fell anyway. Big ugly, sloppy tears, full of sadness and remorse. Loud groans and moans of anguish rushed out of her mouth as the tears rushed in to fuel them. She dragged her hands over her nose and mouth, her eyes, anywhere to make the memories stop. But they came flooding back, just like her colored tears.

Chrystal Mattock was soon to be 24 years of age. She is one of the new millennium's children. Instead of partying all night she was up nursing one of her 3 children. Jade her 18 month old was sick again, Chrystal was sick also. She was sick of being a single mom, sick of being ostracized by her family and sick to death of the life she was living. Her life was way overdue for an overhaul and Chrystal was finally ready to do something about It.

James, aka Jimmy Mattock the second, had no idea where he was. He had awakened earlier when a clock chimed and found himself in a foul mood. His head felt as if soiled towels had been stuffed into his nose and pulled out through his mouth, by way of his brain. He had trouble opening his eyes due to the stickiness gluing them together. His mouth tasted like rotten cabbage with a side of fish head thrown in for good measure. His chest burned like a gasoline fire had ignited down his throat. In general, he felt like shit. He wondered why he was laying on the floor. He was drifting in and out of consciousness, and he thought his mind must be playing tricks with his body because it was difficult to tell what was what.He tried to methodically catalog his body parts. He felt his left hand, because he was lying on it and it hurt with a stinging pain. He knew he had a head because it was pounding so severely. He felt both legs, and then he sensed the rest of his body because it all hurt very badly.