Kirjahaku

Johnny Moped refuses a mysterious client who wants him to find the missing and deceased Sir Isaac Newton. Sir Isaac has been kidnapped by Cyborgs who are intent on letting a ELE meteor hit the Earth. He is then mysteriously paid by an unknown hirer £5,000 a week for an unknown task. Johnny is pursued by Cyborgs and escapes on a flight to Greece. At Olympus, the restaurant at the top of the mountain, (they've had to diversify much to Hercules anger), there is a portal to Betamax 200 years in the future. Betamax is ruled by Cyborgs, who have now discovered how to travel back to the past. Johnny and Hercules find Sir Isaac and Hercules fights their female goddess. Johnny tries unsuccessfully to convince an unwilling, imprisoned Sir Isaac to save mankind from a premature end. After much soul searching, Johnny and Sir Isaac eventually make their escape. They plant a radioactive meteorite on the meteor and after inventing the crab flap, Sir Isaac retires to the 18th century leaving Johnny, now Hieronymus Calmly, as the new Professor of Complexity. Hercules loses his club whilst battling the cyborg goddess and becomes a professional wrestler with Deianira as his manager. Deianira returns with the pan-dimensional beings, the Horseshoe Crabs, who want nothing more than a pampered retirement on Earth. The meteor has destroyed the gateways. Only the newly invented crab flap remains as passage between dimensions. Johnny/ Hieronymus accepts the Professorship and watches over his doppelganger, Johnny Moped, who now has enough money to rebuild the front of his house destroyed by the Cyborgs. Johnny/Hieronymus occasionally gives himself advice through the local small ads and regrets taking Medusa as his room mate. The identity of the unknown hirer, the Bank of Ouroboros, remains a mystery. Read on in Book Two: The Impossible Bream.

Johnny Moped is pursued by Insurance Agents who wish him to sign the new premiums to rebuild his house. To escape, he takes a canal holiday and discovers his mother is a vampire.Hieronymus Calmly is pursued by Count Vlad Orlok to sign the Patents of Vampiric Nobility over to him. This is a surprise to both of them because neither have vampiric tendencies.Orlok encourages the LGWTQ+Z communities to rise up as the world descends into WW3.And deep in the Marianna Trench, the Engineer has awoken.Johnny Moped (Investigator Extraordinaire) and Sir Hieronymus Calmly (Professor of Perplexing Complexity), reluctantly save the world once again.

Death is in a catch 22 and isn't happy. Johnny Moped unwittingly takes on a case from Old Joe who's been wandering the world for 2,000 years. This leads him unexpectedly to ancient Judea.Hieronymus Calmly is shocked by Medusa's headlong plunge into consumerism. He takes her to future Tokyo where she can be fitted with a robotic body despite this being a future he previously fought to prevent. There he witnesses a very different future for Mankind unsurprisingly due to Hercules.Hercules is challenged to a wrestling match by the Minotaur on the Isle of Crete. One which leads him to an existential crisis. Johnny Moped and Hieronymus Calmly must team up and venture into the maze to save Hercules and the human race.Death appears when all the world is watching and tries to put the fun back into funeral.

Trapped on board the Starliner Titanic, Hieronymus regrets his decision to pursue Sir Isaac's cryptic message that has led him to an alien abducted Sigmund Freud, an uncomfortable therapy session and his Cyborg alter ego.Can he escape and together with Hercules, Noah and Johnny Moped, work to prevent a particular devastating future involving Mal Salik, uncomfortably aware they have once again made everything much much worse?

Johnny Moped is enjoying a domesticated life with Mora, until Detective Inspector Willis calls. He needs Johnny Moped's help to discover why four decapitated men left their heads in a skip outside his house and their bodies in the lake.Hercules is more morose than ever as he turns up uninvited at Johnny's door.Johnny Moped takes the case and he has four suspects: himself (after a less than romantic lycanthropic encounter with Sandra in the woods), Sandra, Hercules and the mysterious Manchester Cockatrice.At the Office of Perplexing Complexity, £124,000 of cheese is missing. An unwilling Hieronymus Calmly and Mildred go on a mouse hunt.These trails lead them to Cornucopia Lifesciences and the strange Dr. Achelous who captures and imprisons them. He proposes a long overdue marriage to Deianira in exchange for their release. Deianira, however, has other plans.A betrayed Hieronymus finally agrees to give Deianira the time machine.In the process of escaping, they have an unexpected encounter with the Fae Folk which prompts Mrs. Lonsdale and Mildred to become the Morrigan (Book 6).Johnny Moped is unsurprised to find his domestic bliss ruined as Mora's true identity is revealed.