Kirjahaku

"Peace in my home? Is it possible?" With 50% of marriages failing and with many adult children wanting to move as far away as possible from their birth families, the evidence does not seem to support the possibility of peace whether in a traditional, blended or single-parent family. Anger is the number one "peace robber." But anger, like the red light on the dashboard of your car, is only a notifier that something is in need of attention. It does not blame, shame or condemn. It merely says, "There is a need to be addressed so the car can function better." It has a positive value. AVOID AT ALL COSTS One of the most common reasons anger is not viewed in a positive light is that there is so little written, spoken or taught about anger from a positive perspective. Dr. Gary Oliver, the Executive Director of the Center for Marriage and Family studies at John Brown University, stated, "In Christian circles, not enough has been written on the positive side of anger." He estimates that at least 50% of the Christians he has polled view anger from an almost exclusive negative perspective. Psychiatrist Dr. Paul Meier estimates that the cost of improper handling of anger could cause up to 95% of psychological depression and therefore should be avoided at all costs. Yet psychologist Dr. Les Carter would say, "Anger is an emotion that speaks up for a personal need." Anger could be the most lied about emotion. You will often hear, "I'm not angry, I'm just frustrated." Well, frustration is anger at 25 miles per hour and rage is about 80 miles per hour. But to admit one is angry could be embarrassing and shameful. MEET AN OLD FRIEND In the first chapter you will meet an old friend of the family, anger. "Friend?" Yes, friend Over the past fifty years I have asked, "What are the biggest sources of anger you experienced growing up?" Bingo Many of the same sources kept reappearing. So, I would encourage a person to feel the anger and then follow it down to its source. Often they had never thought about the source, but they were experiencing what Dr. Meier would call the clinical symptoms of depression from suppressed anger: insomnia, decreased energy, irritability, poor concentration, headaches, decreased appetite, even thoughts of suicide. Why do I have people re-feel their anger? So they can find the source and deal with it. THE BIG TEN When people were not shamed or condemned for their anger, it gave them freedom to see what was causing it so they could be released from its grip. The top ten sources of long-term anger repeatedly named were: -Over-protection -Favoritism -Rejection -Criticism -Selfishness -Impatience -Discipline in anger -Perfectionism -Hurts -Irresponsibility GREAT NEWS It is all correctible You will learn how to identify the needs your anger reveals and the positive steps that lead to personal peace. These steps are "doable " How do I know? Because of the encouraging reports from clients and readers all over the world. One dad read the manuscript and was so changed that he pre-ordered a case of books to share with friends who have seen that change. BONUS The author takes no personal financial benefit from the book. All proceeds from the book are invested in training people on five continents on how to use these tools to bring God's peace to their homes. So bless yourself and others as you experience some well-deserved peace.

Forgiveness is hard but not impossible. When you can't forgive someone who has hurt you, the last thing you want is a guilt trip for not forgiving. For over 50 years, Dr. Chuck Lynch has asked people who can't forgive to honestly explain why they can't. When their legitimate concerns are addressed to their satisfaction, over 90% are able to forgive. I Should Forgive, But...identifies common reasons it is hard to forgive. * "...but I'm not angry " Admitting your anger can help to identify your legitimate needs.* "...but I can't forget." Why the forgive-and-forget approach doesn't work.* "...but someone has to pay." How to use revenge as the back door to forgiveness.* "...but they won't acknowledge what they did." Forgiveness is possible even when reconciliation isn't.* "...but they'll only do it again." How to break free from the "victim" trap mentality.* "...but I'm living with the memories." How to gain freedom from the control of the past.I Should Forgive, But... will give you psychologically sound and scripturally based answers to the hindrances to forgiveness. One reader commented, "It was easily the most powerful book, outside of the Bible, I have ever read. I cannot believe how many answers to my years of pain are in there." Read, my friend, and be free.

Do you want to help others but don't know where to start? Learn how you can help family and friends when they come to you with problems and questions. You do not need to be a professionally trained counselor or pastor to help people work through problems from a biblical perspective. Discover God's purpose for problems, how God uses your past as preparation to help others, how to use anger to open the door to healing, how to forgive and live with the memories, how to work through a conflict, how to establish fair fighting rules and how to reduce the control of negative emotions. YOU can be a people helper in your world