Kirjahaku

Home ownership has always meant success to me, or perhaps it was a deeper need to belong somewhere. My search began in the want ads and a home in need of repair was a challenge I considered myself worthy of. Assisting my mom with many home repair projects qualified my thoughts as I dreamed of the beautiful home I would own. I signed the papers and blindly went to work fixing up my "home." My life was about to come tumbling down around me, sometimes when life is turned upside down perhaps it is actually being turned right side up.

Slowly I slid to the floor as I watched the policeman buckle my children into the backseat of his police car, close the door and drive away. The knock on my door had startled me as I had not been expecting anyone. As I lay on the floor contemplating taking every pill in the bottles strewn across my bathoom countertop. I opened my eyes and surveyed the disaster before me. How had this happened? Slowly getting to my feet I found the bag of unopened trash bags and sat down amidst the piles of dirty clothes, trash and dog poop. I had to at least try. It took me eight days to clean the house and get my kids back. Now my home is clean, and my children are grown. This one instance started me on the road to recovery, from victim to victory. I am not a doctor, I am a survivor of mental illness This is my journey from my diagnosis with bipolar disorder and depression, and psychiatric wards. I had to work within the court system to get my kids back. I also worked with Children Youth and Families and to learn how to keep my house clean, pay my bills on time and become a stable, productive member of society. This is my journey of hope

Finding balance in your life is key to living a peaceful life. People will try your patience and life will happen. How do you structure your life to live well? Each part of your life is a season. Too many times, people get in a hurry. When my children were young, it was time to raise my children. I went to every event. I watched them play sports and I was the mom who went on field trips with them. Their life was more important than mine. Depression was killing me and I had to find a way to balance my life. This journey took time but I finally learned how. This is my journey.