Kirjahaku

After I had written a list of things I had learned over the first 16 months of widowhood I read it again and decided it would make the basis for a book on the first year of my life as a widow.I was widowed on the 20th of December 2010 at 6am. My husband breathed his last breath in our home and in that moment life, as I had known it for 27 years had ceased to exist and the 25 years of care giving suddenly stopped. At that point in time, like most widows, I descended into a fog that carried me through the first few weeks. This fog protects the mind to a degree and aids the bereaved in coming to terms with the sudden changes in their lives. Changes that no one plans for, that no one wants, but changes that are happening all around you from the moment that you become a widow or widower.My family and friends were wonderful, but were unable to reach me through that fog for many weeks. I remember waking each morning and putting my feet on the floor and wondering what I was going to do with the day now that I no longer had my husband to care for. I think during that time I did withdraw from almost everyone and for that I am sorry, but for my own sake and for the sake of others I needed to pull away and lick my wounds. I did not want to drag anyone down the path of grief with me and did not want anyone to witness the depth of the grief I felt. I have always been a private person with things like this and it probably stems from my childhood in the United Kingdom where a stiff upper lip is taught to all children in my family. Grief is a private thing and not for the consumption of others. This is what I was taught as a child and something I have carried through my life and even now am reluctant to show this grief to others.I did not cry at his funeral, the fog was still so thick that there is still an unreality attached to that day. I remember the details, but they are almost misty and feel like they are someone else

Winter Memories is a collection of poetry written over many years. Some draw on memories of my childhood in the United Kingdom, some on memories of the warmer winters of my teenage years in New Zealand and others of the warmer winters here in Australia. Enjoy

Widowhood 103 was not part of the planned Widowhood Series. It came about due to a happy accident. The author sent copies of Widowhood 101 and 102 to a friend to read. That triggered some unresolved issues and this lady was finally able to grieve long held pain. Not the pain of losing a loved one, but the pain of the loss of a marriage and the loss of her dreams.Grief is very much a personal time. It overcomes your life in moments and can sweep you into a world of pain. Grief cannot be rushed, it can't be forced, all you can do is feel the grief and let it flow.That pain needs to be resolved and given time to become a dull ache. Once it dulls down you learn to live again.The author has learned to live again, slowly, step by step, it has happened.

Every Day Poetry is inspired by the things I see and do in the course of a day. Each poem was written on a separate day and to remember a different incident. Poetry has been a big part of my life since childhood and it is the memory of the poetry I read a small child that keeps me writing poetry even now. From the nursery rhymes to the poems of Wordsworth, Shelly and Byron I devoured poetry as a child and continue to both read and write poetry in my 50's and plan to continue to do so as long as I am able to. The rhythm of poetry runs through my days and many things I see and do inspire poetry. A single word, a beautiful tree, the sky and the sounds of a storm.Please enjoy the poems

The Widowhood Diary Entries is a collection of entries from the writers diary during that first year of widowhood. It is published in the hopes that it can help others with their journey through this difficult time. Dawn was widowed after caring for her husband for many years and not only did she lose her much loved husband, she lost her job and her familiar routine all in the time between the last breath her husband took and the one that did not come after. Dawn uses her diary entries to sort through the feelings and emotions that first year brought forth and hopes that others can identify with the story.

Sloan is who we may all become given the same circumstances. One day you are a Sergeant in the Australian Army, the next you are on a trail of vengeance. The catastrophic events of 1 January 2013 bring the end to the world Sloan knows. The base is destroyed, many of his fellow soldiers are killed or injured, the world outside of the base is also no longer as it was. Sloan returns to his home, his wife and Mother. What he finds when he enters his half destroyed home sends Sloan on a journey of revenge. Sloan's determination, abilities and his mind are tested by the sequence of events.Take the journey up and down the East Coast of Australia with Sloan.

The Scent of Roses is the story of Karen and Kenneth who meet over the phone through their work. Phone calls lead to friendship and the friendship deepens over time to become something more. Kenneth is afraid to love after having his heart destroyed by divorce. Can he let go of the hurt long enough to build a relationship with Karen?You judge their story for yourself. Romantic Erotica. Not suitable for under 18's

From Us to Me is the story of one woman's journey through the first year of widowhood. It is deeply compelling and easily read. There are insights into the depths of grief and the journey to find life and light again. Dawn Millen was widowed in late 2010 and her journey began that day. After 25 years of caring for her late husband she was now alone. No job, no daily responsibilities and the daily struggle to fill the hours usually taken up caring for her husband had begun. Come with Dawn and share the way she learned to cope alone and her triumph over grief and loneliness.Death and grief are a journey we all take at some point in our lives. It is not the hardships of the journey which mark us, but the small daily victories over the dark.

Sloan started life as a character in Outback Exodus and has now graduated to his own series. Sargent Sloan takes the road to vengeance after the murder of his wife Carol at the hands of the gangs of looters which formed within hours of the earthquake which destroyed so much of Australia.The Long Road South is the story of his moving on with life, helping others to find a safer place to build a new life in this destroyed land.

The Destruction is the prequel to the Outback Exodus Series and brings to light the reason for the world wide destruction which was precipitated by changes in the earth's molten core.