Kirjahaku

'Quisque suae fabulae heros est, ' said the cat, and truer words were never spoken. At least where the conspirator Scribonianus is concerned - he's certainly a legend in his own mind. The Gheorghenis are far more interested in other people, like their philosopher neighbour Pertinax. Or their furniture-and-music-making Greek housemates. Or, in fact, the local wildlife. The Gheorghenis, extra-dimensional aliens, are curious by nature and like to reconnoitre their environment - which happens to be the backwater Roman town of Potentia in 42 CE. Reconnoitering is a lot easier when your shapeshifting abilities encompass the whole animal kingdom. Snacks are more varied, too. What is Scribonianus ready to do to become emperor? Will Manius Flaccus Pertinax justify his father's faith in him? Will Cleopas ever stop playing the hydraulis and make some tasteful furniture? What portents are revealed by the sacred chickens? How do you pronounce 'Gheorgheni', anyway? These and other questions you didn't know you were asking will be addressed as the Roman Gheorghenis explore Life in Potentia.

We hope this volume will be one you'll keep on a bedside table. Or pop into a travel bag. We want you to use this anthology as a companion for those times when you have a half-hour to fill and don't want to muck about with the internet. Not one of these stories will take you more than ten minutes to read. But they will take you around the planet at warp speed. You may find yourself on a galactic cruise from your office, park bench, or seat on the 9.35 local. Some of what you'll read in here is laugh-out-loud funny. You may go Snork and get Looks on the commuter train. Some of the stories and poems in here will probably make you want to cry. Life on Earth can be dark, sometimes. We're hoping you can take the rough with the smooth. Some of these stories might introduce you to the kind of people you've wondered about, but never met.

Theology was never like this before. 'Tell your bosses they have nothing to fear from me, ' Nimrod said abruptly. 'We're in the same business.' 'Er, what' Ori was nonplussed. 'Gods-bothering. The priests and I. Only, ' he grinned mischievously, 'I'm better at it. I'm really going to bother those gods. Better than they've ever been bothered in their miserable lives.' Nimrod looked eerily triumphant. In the beginning was The Penthouse. But The Penthouse was boring. Nothing but singing and dancing angels. And eyes. Lots of eyes. Ori, who only had two, plus a pair of wings, decided to jump into the celestial Paternoster and see what was out there. Ori saw plenty. Follow Ori's journey through ancient Mesopotamia. Marvel at the five-legged lamassu. Catch up on all the latest gossip about Nimrod. Meet the cats of Halab. Groan at the oldest jokes on record. And help Ori answer the burning question, 'What are gods good for, anyway'

Brookville, Pennsylvania, is a quaint little town with a definite Gilded Age charm about it. But back in 1844, Brookville was on the edge of civilisation - beyond lay the Far West. Its infrastructure was rude, and the locals were ruder. Wolves could be heard howling in the woods at night. Irishmen could be heard howling in the taverns, of which there were a surprising number. Monongahela whiskey was the tipple of choice, at three cents the glass, and even the Presbyterians drank it. Hogs roamed free, and cows were milked at the front door come daybreak. The place was wild and woolly, and the call of the wild turkey could be heard in the land. The world passed through Brookville, in the form of 'emigrant trains' headed into the Great Unknown (Ohio), stages with four-horse teams, freight hauled by oxen and sixteen-foot Conestoga wagons (the original long-haul truckers), and horse- and foot-traffic of all kinds. People stayed informed: politics was unusually divisive in 1844, which was a presidential election year. Pretend you don't know who's going to win - you do, right? - and enjoy the fussing between Whigs and Democrats along with the rest of the town. From timber rafting to militia training, there is a lot to see as Jim Tanner and Brookville come of age

Izzy Himmelfarb is as innocent as Richard Kimble, and darn near as na ve. Like Dr Kimble, he's a 60s guy, though a bit younger and more in tune with the counterculture, and overeducated. I wanted to see if someone from a time I personally remembered could make it as a time traveller. I'm happy to say he weathered the journey pretty well, at least I think so. But you be the judge: I'm just the author. You, more importantly, are the reader. Hop aboard the ferret express and see what it takes to get from Joliet to Woodstock.