Kirjahaku

Buckle your seatbelt because this is going to be a wild ride. Brian, along with his hapless hunchback and spineless hell hound, flee his mansion after it's invaded by irate villagers demanding the return of virgins that he is holding captive in the basement. Taking one of these prisoners with them, they go to seek the advice of his Great Uncle Nos in regards the forced eviction. Great Uncle Nos suggests two possible courses of action before the villagers arrive at the old monsters home and Brian is forced to flee with his companions once again. A new ally soon joins them, the gun and grenade toting Little Red Riding Hoodie. Together they embark on a quest to find a way to return to the vamp's ancestral home. Pursued by angry villagers, freedom fighting spiders and the famous vampire slayer Van Ding-a-Ling, it's a quest fraught with danger and woven with webs. Brian the Vampire is a crazy adventure packed with humour. An unforgettable romp, you'll be smiling all the way to the end and beyond. The book includes the bonus short story Reggie Smart & The Hound of the Basket-Cases and is available on Kindle and in paperback. 'I laughed so much my head fell off' - The Headless Horseman 'It had me in stitches' - Frankenstein's Monster

Lukewarm Bathwater or Apocalypse? is a comedy fantasy adventure that you're sure to like if you enjoy the work of Terry Pratchett or Douglas Adams. The God of Apocalypse is due to sign the contract entitling him to humanity's future. However, the God of Lukewarm Bathwater utilises an obscure law which states that a hero must be picked to go on a quest and if successful he will be the immortal signing the contract. The most unlikely of heroes is chosen. His name is Wilfred and he is a garden penguin salesman with ears that would make any self-respecting elephant go green with envy. He must go on a quest to rescue a princess who is due to become the main course at a feast being held by a goblin warlord called Groinchewer. Sounds simple? Far from it. Wilfred is chased by goblin wolf riders, imprisoned by trolls and harassed by a crack unit of Siberian hamsters. He meets a strange group of companions and regularly wishes for a spare pair of underpants during his misadventures. Will Wilfred and his odd squad be successful or will they meet their ends being excruciatingly tickled to death by trolls? 'There's no doubt that Mr Page can write professionally and fluently... He compares his work with that of Terry Pratchett, and this isn't an empty boast. Parts of the novel are very funny and there are many neat one-liners' - Curtis Brown (one of the UK's leading literary agencies)

Oh Goblin, Where Art Thou? (or 'Oh bugger We're Lost ') is a tale so brimming with madcap action and adventure that it's sure to spill over into laughter. It follows the story of Odysseus and Donk, two goblins who are accompanied by a mouse called Frankie Soft. The book opens with the trio of companions enslaved and working in a quarry. Managing to escape more by luck than judgement, they then come across danger in the desert. Meeting a tribe of nomadic goblins, they discover that their fame has spread far and wide due to their exploits prior to becoming slaves. 'Oddy' then tells the nomads the tale of how they became lost in the wilderness and finally ended up in shackles, a tale that includes encounters with a Cyclops, a trio of tutu-wearing Sirens and a sea monster with a surprising phobia, amongst others. A highly entertaining read that is very loosely based on Homer's epic poem The Odyssey. This is a hilarious short novel with many great comedy moments. Ed Page is the author of numerous books, including Brain the Vampire, Lukewarm Bathwater or Apocalypse? and Greetings from the Edge of Nowhere.

Orc: It's Not Easy Being Green is the first in the Orc series of comedy novellas relating the wild adventures of Toenibbler as he goes from being a young orc to an orc warlord. Toenibbler is captured by a band of human settlers when going for his monthly wash in the local stream. Discriminated against because of his green skin and snotty nose, he slowly becomes friends with a girl called Nancy as they face great danger together. Coming face to kneecap with a troll, meeting a witch with poor eyesight and a habit of miss-casting her spells and being abducted by a dragon were not things on Toenibbler's 'to do' list, but after becoming a prisoner they are just some of the things that befall him as his life takes a definite turn towards adventure. If you like Orc: It's Not Easy Being Green then try the second book in the series, Orc: Fairies, Fairies Everywhere or the novel Oh Goblin, Where Art Thou? Both are among the numerous books by Ed Page that are available on Kindle. Many are also available as paperbacks.

Toenibbler the orc is back in an all-new adventure rammed full of happenings (as any good adventure should be). Five years after the events of It's Not Easy Being Green, he becomes embroiled in a mystery. Things have been going missing in his village and there are no clues as to where they've gone, even after every rock in the valley has been turned and then re-turned. On a trade mission to the human settlement west of the mountains where he lives, Toenibbler discovers the disappearances aren't just limited to his clan. After having his ears accosted by the rare sound of a troll crying, the mystery starts to unravel and he unwittingly finds himself at the forefront of events despite wishing he could just stand at the back and slink away for a pint. The second in the Orc series of novellas, Fairies, Fairies Everywhere is a hoot (even though there's not an owl in sight). If you want a crazy fantasy adventure that's sure to bring a smile, then this book is for you. If you enjoy Orc: Fairies, Fairies Everywhere then try the 3rd book in the series, called Orc: Trouble With Trolls, or the novel Brain the Vampire. Both are among the numerous books by Ed Page which are available on Kindle and as paperbacks

Toenibbler is back again and this time he's in a whole heap of trouble, mainly with trolls. After celebrating his twenty-second birthday, Nibbler finds that he's expected to join an army led by mountain trolls which is set on wiping Pleasantville from the map. Fearing for Nancy and his other friends, he sets off in the hope of rescuing them all, though it is a very small hope quivering in the corner of his mind. A story bursting at the seams with battles, broomsticks and battered toads, Orc: Trouble With Trolls is the third instalment in the Orc series of comedy novellas. In it we find our hero once more setting out on an adventure and beset with challenges that would make most ordinary orcs run and hide. However, Nibbler is no ordinary orc, as this story of heroism proves beyond a shadow of a doubt (I mean, what ordinary orc would be daring enough to drink potato gin after what happened to Crotchsniffer?). So brace yourselves for another cracking read. Ed Page is the author of numerous other books including Brian the Vampire and Oh Goblin, Where Art Thou? All are available on Kindle and as paperbacks.

Had the residents of Blunt known what was coming they'd have run for their lives and they'd have been screaming all the way. Well, that or they'd have just asked Cuthbert Dickson not to make his giant sausage. Cuthbert owns one of two butcher's shops in the settlement and, in an attempt to regain the customers he's lost through a mixture of inedible meat products and a wish to expose the truth about Blunt's founder Edvard Blumqvist, he decides to make a gargantuan sausage for the forthcoming centenary celebrations. Beset with problems along the way, his ceaseless optimism in the face of adversity sees him and his wife, Hilary, through the hard times. Finding himself hunted by hired goons, avoiding marauding goblins and struggling to overcome the terrible reputation of his food, Cuthbert soldiers on. With the making of the sausage the fate of the village is sealed. The history books would continue to gloss over the truth about Blumqvist, but they'd certainly go to town when it came to Cuthbert and his Sausage of Doom. If you enjoy this book then try Brian the Vampire or find the character of Jeffery Deacon from The Sausage of Doom making an appearance or two in the Orc series of novellas, which start with Orc: It's Not Easy Being Green. All are among the many books by Ed Page that are available on Kindle and as paperbacks.

Five years after the events in Trouble with Trolls, Nibbler is faced with a new threat and this time his brains are at serious risk of being spooned. Pleasantville is in danger again, grave danger. A horde of zombies have attacked the unsuspecting residents and Nibbler sets off to try and help catch the magician responsible in order to bring the undead occupation of the city to an end. Obviously, this isn't going to be easy, but it's certainly going to be another wild ride. If you enjoy Orc: Fifty Shades of Dead then try the novels The Sausage of Doom or Brain the Vampire. Both are among the many books by Ed Page that are available on Kindle or as paperbacks.

This wasn't going to be just another hunting trip on just another day. It may have seemed like it, but that illusion was about to be shattered, stamped on and gleefully pounded into the dust. The story opens with our hero stalking a giant wild boar with an attitude problem. A member of a hunting party that includes his dad, Toenibbler has no idea what's about to befall him despite his eye socket itching in an attempt to warn him. He soon becomes separated from the other orcs and unwittingly embarks on an adventure that finds him in danger of being served for supper, on the run with a beard and confronted with an Uzi-wielding nutcase. Set four years after the Zombie Rising, Orc: A Giant Problem is the 5th book in the Orc series of comedy novellas, all of which are available as paperbacks and Kindle editions.