Kirjahaku

"How could we know that forever could end at seventeen?" Anyone passing through North Shore, Illinois, would think it was the most picture-perfect place ever, with all the lakefront mansions and manicured hedges and iron gates. No one talks about the fact that the brilliant, talented kids in town have a terrible history of throwing themselves in front of commuter trains. Meet Simone, the bohemian transfer student from London, who is thrust into the strange new reality of an American high school; Mallory, the hypercompetitive queen bee; and Stephen, the first-generation genius who struggles with crippling self-doubt. Each one is shocked when a popular classmate takes his own life...except not too shocked. It's happened before. With so many students facing their own demons, can they find a way to save each other--as well as themselves?

A hilarious memoir chronicles the adventures and misadventures of a woman whose perfect life, perfect job, and perfect man vanish when she goes from a six-figures career to unemployment. Original.

A hilarious new memoir by the best-selling author of Bitter Is the New Black chronicles the not-so-wonderful moments of her life in the big city, from reporting rude neighbors to Homeland Security or harboring a crush on her grocery store clerk, to fighting and losing the Battle of the Stairmaster. Original.

A NOTE FROM JEN LANCASTER: "To whom the fat rolls...I'm tired of books where a self-loathing heroine is teased to the point where she starves herself skinny in hopes of a fabulous new life. And I hate the message that women can't possibly be happy until we all fit into our skinny jeans. I don't find these stories uplifting; they make me want to hug these women and take them out for fizzy champagne drinks and cheesecake and explain to them that until they figure out their insides, their outsides don't matter. Unfortunately, being overweight isn't simply a societal issue that can be fixed with a dose healthy of positive self-esteem. It's a health matter, and here on the eve of my fortieth year, I've learned I have to make changes so I don't, you know, die. Because what good is finally being able to afford a pedicure if I lose a foot to adult onset diabetes?" Watch a QuickTime trailer for this book.

Jen Lancaster's cultural inferiority complex had to come from somewhere...and now fans can find out where in this hilarious New York Times bestselling memoir from the author of Bitter is the New Black. Before she was bitter, before she was lazy, Jen Lancaster was a badge-hungry Junior Girl Scout with a knack for extortion, an aspiring sorority girl who didn't know her Coach from her Louis Vuitton, and a budding executive who found herself bewildered by her first encounter with a fax machine. In this hilarious and touching memoir, Jen Lancaster looks back on her life--and wardrobe--and reveals a young woman not so different from the rest of us. Prepare to take a long walk in her (drool-worthy) shoes in this humorous and heartwarming trip down memory lane.

Readers have followed New York Times bestselling author Jen Lancaster through job loss, sucky city living, weight loss attempts, and 1980s nostalgia. Now, in this bitter and witty memoir, Jen chronicles her efforts to achieve cultural enlightenment, with some hilarious missteps and genuine moments of inspiration along the way. Jen uses any means necessary on her quest to better herself: reading canonical literature, viewing classic films, attending the opera, researching artisan cheeses, and even enrolling in etiquette classes to improve her social graces. In Jen's corner is a crack team of experts, including Page Six socialites, gourmet chefs, an opera aficionado, and a master sommelier. She may discover that well-regarded, high-priced stinky cheese tastes exactly as bad as it smells, and that her love for Kraft American Singles is forever. But one thing's for certain: Eliza Doolittle's got nothing on Jen Lancaster--and failure is an option.

Watch a video The fiction debut of the New York Times bestselling author of My Fair Lazy. Told in the uproariously entertaining voice readers have come to expect from Jen Lancaster, If You Were Here follows Amish-zombie-teen- romance author Mia and her husband Mac (and their pets) through the alternately frustrating, exciting, terrifying-but always funny-process of buying and renovating their first home in the Chicago suburbs that John hughes's movies made famous. Along their harrowing renovation journey, Mia and Mac get caught up in various wars with the homeowners' association, meet some less-than-friendly neighbors, and are joined by a hilarious cast of supporting characters, including a celebutard ex- landlady. As they struggle to adapt to their new surroundings- with Mac taking on the renovations himself- Mia and Mac will discover if their marriage is strong enough to survive months of DIY renovations.

With her debut novel, If You Were Here, Jen Lancaster " leapt] into the fiction arena with her rapier-sharp wit in one hand and a fistful of Home Depot gift cards in the other" (New York Times bestselling author Joshilyn Jackson). Now she goes from the trauma of home renovation to the drama of soul renovation in Here I Go Again.... Twenty years after ruling the halls of her suburban Chicago high school, Lissy Ryder doesn't understand why her glory days ended. Back then, she was worshipped...beloved...feared. Present day, not so much. She's been pink-slipped from her high-paying job, dumped by her husband, and kicked out of her condo. Now, at thirty-seven, she's struggling to start a business from her parents' garage and sleeping under the hair-band posters in her old bedroom. Lissy finally realizes karma is the only bitch bigger than she was. Her present is miserable because of her past. But it's not like she can go back in time and change who she was...or can she?

In Such a Pretty Fat, Jen Lancaster learned how to come to terms with her body. In My Fair Lazy, she expanded her mind. Now the New York Times bestselling author gives herself--and her generation--a kick in the X, by facing her greatest challenge to date: acting her age. Jen is finally ready to put away childish things (except her Barbie Styling Head, of course) and embrace the investment-making, mortgage-carrying, life-insurance-having adult she's become. From getting a mammogram to volunteering at a halfway house, she tackles the grown-up activities she's resisted for years, and with each rite of passage she completes, she'll uncover a valuable--if probably humiliating--life lesson that will ease her path to full-fledged, if reluctant, adulthood.

One would think that with her impressive list of bestselling self-improvement memoirs Jen Lancaster would have it all together by now. One would be wrong. After all, she's no Martha Stewart. And that's why Jen is going to Martha up and live her life according to the advice of America's overachieving older sister--the woman who turns lemons into lavender-infused lemonade. By immersing herself in Martha's media empire, Jen embarks on a yearlong quest to take herself, her house, her husband (and maybe even her pets) to the next level--from closet organization to party planning. Maybe Jen can avoid food poisoning if she follows Martha's dictates on proper storage. Maybe she can rid her workout clothes of meatball stains by using Martha's laundry tips. Maybe she can create a more meaningful anniversary celebration than getting drunk in the pool with her husband. Again. And maybe she'll discover that the key to happiness does, in fact, lie in Martha's perfectly arranged cupboards and charcuterie platters.

A licensed psychologist who stars on the cable breakout show I Need a Push, Reagan Bishop helps participants become their best selves by urging them to overcome obstacles and change behaviors. An overachiever, Reagan is used to delivering results. Despite her overwhelming professional success, Reagan never seems to earn her family's respect. Her younger sister, Geri, is and always will be the Bishop family favorite. When a national network buys Reagan's show, the pressure for unreasonably quick results and higher ratings mounts. Desperate to make the show work and keep her family at bay, Reagan actually listens when the show's New Age healer offers an unconventional solution.... Record Nielsen ratings follow. But when Reagan decides to use her newfound power to teach everyone a lesson about sibling rivalry, she's the one who will be schooled....

Unfiltered. Unapologetic. Older - but arguably not wiser - Lancaster gets back to basics in this hilarious essay collection about everything from taking community policing classes to accidentally getting stoned with her waiter after a fancy dinner. These are the tales she'd tell if she met you in a bar... if she weren't too lazy to put on pants and go to a bar. Offering advice ranging from how to remain happily married to a man who refuses to blow his damn nose already to not creating An Incident at the cheese counter during an attempt at Whole30, she's you, only louder. As she details the chaos that will surely ensue if she has to learn to operate one more television remote control, you'll want to settle in and pour yourself a tall one. Because what's more fun than hearing a friend share her favorite stories?

A Wall Street Journal bestseller. New York Times bestselling author Jen Lancaster is here to help you chill the hell out. When did USA become shorthand for the United States of Anxiety? From the moment Americans wake up, we’re bombarded with all-new terrifying news about crime, the environment, politics, and stroke-inducing foods we’ve been enjoying for years. We’re judged by social media’s faceless masses, pressured into maintaining a Pinterest-perfect home, and expected to base our self-worth on retweets, faves, likes, and followers. Our collective FOMO, and the disparity between the ideal and reality, is leading us to spend more and feel worse. No wonder we’re getting twitchy. Save for an Independence Day–style alien invasion, how do we begin to escape from the stressors that make up our days? Jen Lancaster is here to take a hard look at our elevating anxieties, and with self-deprecating wit and levelheaded wisdom, she charts a path out of the quagmire that keeps us frightened of the future and ashamed of our imperfectly perfect human lives. Take a deep breath, and her advice, and you just might get through a holiday dinner without wanting to disown your uncle.

Three grown women find escape and camaraderie on sorority row in a delightfully exhilarating novel about fresh starts, whether you want them or not, by New York Times bestselling author Jen Lancaster. How fast can charity fundraiser CeCe Barclay’s unimpeachable society life come tumbling down? One minute she’s speaking before Chicago’s glitterati. The next, her financier husband is wanted for embezzlement. Her assets seized and her fall mortifyingly public, CeCe grasps for refuge—and employment—as a sorority housemom at Eli Whitney University, her daughter Hayden’s alma mater. Tasked with preparing a stately—but in CeCe’s estimation shabby—house for rush, CeCe isn’t the only one navigating a new life. Janelle Smith’s last experience as a housemother was at a Jersey strip club, where she witnessed a mob hit. To keep her safe until trial, WITSEC finds her a new identity and a housemom position on Eli Whitney’s sorority row, where Janelle’s conflict mediation and tolerance for high estrogen levels make her a star employee. For Hayden, a barista at a hopelessly hip off-campus café, the goal is to flee everything Barclay: the money, the scandals, and the exasperating family nonsense. What next? Though CeCe’s not ready to sell her Chanel bag, she’s open to reinvention. Hayden might even admit she needs help in her new independent life. And Janelle’s due for a personal triumph. But big challenges loom between the alabaster columns of Eli Whitney, unexpected and dicey enough to bring them all together—if only to keep them from falling completely apart.

Three grown women find escape and camaraderie on sorority row in a delightfully exhilarating novel about fresh starts, whether you want them or not, by New York Times bestselling author Jen Lancaster. How fast can charity fundraiser CeCe Barclay’s unimpeachable society life come tumbling down? One minute she’s speaking before Chicago’s glitterati. The next, her financier husband is wanted for embezzlement. Her assets seized and her fall mortifyingly public, CeCe grasps for refuge—and employment—as a sorority housemom at Eli Whitney University, her daughter Hayden’s alma mater. Tasked with preparing a stately—but in CeCe’s estimation shabby—house for rush, CeCe isn’t the only one navigating a new life. Janelle Smith’s last experience as a housemother was at a Jersey strip club, where she witnessed a mob hit. To keep her safe until trial, WITSEC finds her a new identity and a housemom position on Eli Whitney’s sorority row, where Janelle’s conflict mediation and tolerance for high estrogen levels make her a star employee. For Hayden, a barista at a hopelessly hip off-campus café, the goal is to flee everything Barclay: the money, the scandals, and the exasperating family nonsense. What next? Though CeCe’s not ready to sell her Chanel bag, she’s open to reinvention. Hayden might even admit she needs help in her new independent life. And Janelle’s due for a personal triumph. But big challenges loom between the alabaster columns of Eli Whitney, unexpected and dicey enough to bring them all together—if only to keep them from falling completely apart.

Two best friends, stalled and dissatisfied, change the course of their lives in a wildly funny novel about facing your fears—to the extreme—by New York Times bestselling author Jen Lancaster.Once upon a time, Dr. Emily Nichols—the academic kind, not the physician kind—was an eco-crusader who was shot with water cannons, hunted by poachers, and chased by a bulldozer. Now? Action Emily lives in a bland condo with gray walls and teaches disengaged students at a university alongside a risk-allergic boyfriend, asking herself every day: How did I get here?Then one afternoon Emily and her best friend, people-pleasing real estate agent Liv Bennett, witness an attempted robbery at their local coffee shop that is foiled by a yoga mom wielding a baby stroller. Their hero attributes her bravery to a mysterious class called Fearless, Inc. Its enigmatic and dizzyingly muscular instructor, Zeus, is now fully committed to helping Emily and Liv overcome their fears, too—one thrilling self-help lesson at a time.Along with a ragtag group of other wimps, Emily and Liv must embrace the passionately unconventional methods of the leader to harness their powers, gain a bracing new perspective on life, act on their impulses, and be the no-holds-barred anti-heroes of their dreams.

Two best friends, stalled and dissatisfied, change the course of their lives in a wildly funny novel about facing your fears—to the extreme—by New York Times bestselling author Jen Lancaster.Once upon a time, Dr. Emily Nichols—the academic kind, not the physician kind—was an eco-crusader who was shot with water cannons, hunted by poachers, and chased by a bulldozer. Now? Action Emily lives in a bland condo with gray walls and teaches disengaged students at a university alongside a risk-allergic boyfriend, asking herself every day: How did I get here?Then one afternoon Emily and her best friend, people-pleasing real estate agent Liv Bennett, witness an attempted robbery at their local coffee shop that is foiled by a yoga mom wielding a baby stroller. Their hero attributes her bravery to a mysterious class called Fearless, Inc. Its enigmatic and dizzyingly muscular instructor, Zeus, is now fully committed to helping Emily and Liv overcome their fears, too—one thrilling self-help lesson at a time.Along with a ragtag group of other wimps, Emily and Liv must embrace the passionately unconventional methods of the leader to harness their powers, gain a bracing new perspective on life, act on their impulses, and be the no-holds-barred anti-heroes of their dreams.

In this twisty, hilarious novel, New York Times bestselling author Jen Lancaster explores what happens when a marriage, friendship, revenge, and the human capacity for deception collide.Call to order the Friday Night Doom Crew.They’re an eclectic group of true-crime enthusiasts—a forensic psychologist, historian, and popular Instagram presence among them—dedicated to sleuthing out nefarious offenders and doing whatever it takes to set things right. But when dark secrets threaten one of their own, the Doom Crew grapples with how far they are willing to go to protect her.Diana Pulaski is the crew’s meticulously organized beating heart whose physician husband, Peter, is secretly a swindler behind an illegal pill mill, not to mention a loathsome cheater involved in an online romance. When they discover the truth, the amateur vigilantes have a plan to make Peter pay. Unfortunately, the closer Diana’s friends are to hunting Peter down, the closer they get to discovering a secret Diana has been hiding.As the fumbling Doom Crew’s wild ride of vengeance goes awry, they must navigate the consequences of their actions. And Diana, forced to confront the past, must decide to whom she will remain loyal—no matter the cost.

In this twisty, hilarious novel, New York Times bestselling author Jen Lancaster explores what happens when a marriage, friendship, revenge, and the human capacity for deception collide.Call to order the Friday Night Doom Crew.They’re an eclectic group of true-crime enthusiasts—a forensic psychologist, historian, and popular Instagram presence among them—dedicated to sleuthing out nefarious offenders and doing whatever it takes to set things right. But when dark secrets threaten one of their own, the Doom Crew grapples with how far they are willing to go to protect her.Diana Pulaski is the crew’s meticulously organized beating heart whose physician husband, Peter, is secretly a swindler behind an illegal pill mill, not to mention a loathsome cheater involved in an online romance. When they discover the truth, the amateur vigilantes have a plan to make Peter pay. Unfortunately, the closer Diana’s friends are to hunting Peter down, the closer they get to discovering a secret Diana has been hiding.As the fumbling Doom Crew’s wild ride of vengeance goes awry, they must navigate the consequences of their actions. And Diana, forced to confront the past, must decide to whom she will remain loyal—no matter the cost.