Kirjahaku

"This book is ridiculously hilarious, and makes my father look like a normal member of society." --Chelsea HandlerTuesdays with Morrie meets F My Life in this hilarious book about a son's relationship with his foul-mouthed father by the comedy writer who created the massively popular Twitter feed of the same name.A few months ago, comedy writer Justin Halpern, 29, found himself living at home with his 73-year-old father after being dumped by his longtime girlfriend. Sam Halpern had never minced words, and when Justin moved back home, he was smart enough to write down all the ridiculous things his dad said to him, like "The universe does not give a fuck about you. You are a speck in its shit," and "The worst thing you can be is a liar....Okay fine, yes, the worst thing you can be is a Nazi, but THEN, number two is liar. Nazi 1, Liar 2," and "Everybody loves that Da Vinci code book. Bullshit, it sucks. I read it. It's for all the dummies." These quotes, or philosophies, have become "Shit My Dad Says," a Twitter page that in less than a month was being followed by over 500,000 people, had spawned articles in newspapers and magazines, as well as inspiring calls from movie and television producers, celebrities, and just about everyone else who heard about the site.SH*T MY DAD SAYS, Justin Halpern's first book, is a mix of his dad's quotations and longer-form essays in the vein of David Sedaris and Chelsea Hander. It is a hilarious, unforgettable account of a unique father-son relationship and the filthy words of wisdom that have defined it.

"This book is ridiculously hilarious, and makes my father look like a normal member of society." --Chelsea HandlerTuesdays with Morrie meets F My Life in this hilarious book about a son's relationship with his foul-mouthed father by the comedy writer who created the massively popular Twitter feed of the same name.A few months ago, comedy writer Justin Halpern, 29, found himself living at home with his 73-year-old father after being dumped by his longtime girlfriend. Sam Halpern had never minced words, and when Justin moved back home, he was smart enough to write down all the ridiculous things his dad said to him, like "The universe does not give a fuck about you. You are a speck in its shit," and "The worst thing you can be is a liar....Okay fine, yes, the worst thing you can be is a Nazi, but THEN, number two is liar. Nazi 1, Liar 2," and "Everybody loves that Da Vinci code book. Bullshit, it sucks. I read it. It's for all the dummies." These quotes, or philosophies, have become "Shit My Dad Says," a Twitter page that in less than a month was being followed by over 500,000 people, had spawned articles in newspapers and magazines, as well as inspiring calls from movie and television producers, celebrities, and just about everyone else who heard about the site.SH*T MY DAD SAYS, Justin Halpern's first book, is a mix of his dad's quotations and longer-form essays in the vein of David Sedaris and Chelsea Hander. It is a hilarious, unforgettable account of a unique father-son relationship and the filthy words of wisdom that have defined it.

After being dumped by his longtime girlfriend, twenty-eight-year-old Justin Halpern found himself living at home with his seventy-three-year-old dad. Sam Halpern, who is "like Socrates, but angrier, and with worse hair," has never minced words, and when Justin moved back home, he began to record all the ridiculous things his dad said to him: "That woman was sexy. . . . Out of your league? Son, let women figure out why they won't screw you. Don't do it for them.""Do people your age know how to comb their hair? It looks like two squirrels crawled on their heads and started fucking.""The worst thing you can be is a liar. . . . Okay, fine, yes, the worst thing you can be is a Nazi, but then number two is liar. Nazi one, liar two."Almost two million people now follow Mr. Halpern's philosophical musings on Twitter, and in this book, his son weaves a brilliantly funny, touching coming-of-age memoir around the best of his quotes. An all-American story that unfolds on the Little League field, in Denny's, during excruciating family road trips, and, most frequently, in the Halperns' kitchen over bowls of Grape-Nuts, Sh*t My Dad Says is a chaotic, hilarious, true portrait of a father-son relationship from a major new comic voice.

From the #1 New York Times bestseller author of Sh*t My Dad Says, Justin Halpern, comes a laugh-out-loud funny and deeply touching collection of personal stories about relationships with the opposite sex, from a first kiss to getting engaged and all the awkward moments in between. With Sh*t My Dad Says, Halpern brought his brand of talented comedic writing to the world. Now, with this equally poignant, hilarious, and provocative memoir, he establishes himself as one of popular writing's great humorists among the likes of David Sedaris, Sarah Vowell, and David Rakoff. Fans of biting, honor-infused memoirs such as Me Talk Pretty One Day and Assassination Vacation will find Halpern's I Suck at Girls an unforgettable journey into the best and worst moments of one man's adventures in romance.

'At 28 years old, I found myself living at home, with my 73-year-old father. As a child, my father never minced words, and when I screwed up, he had a way of cutting right through the bullshit and pointing out exactly why I was being an idiot. When I moved back in I was still, for the most part, an idiot. But this time, I was smart enough to write down all the things he said to me…' Meet Justin Halpern and his dad. Almost 1.5 million people follow Mr Halpern’s philosophical musings every day on Twitter, and in this book, his son weaves a brilliantly funny, touching coming-of-age memoir around the best of his sayings. What emerges is a chaotic, hilarious, true portrait of a father and son relationship from a major new comic voice. As Justin says at one point, his dad is ‘like Socrates, but angrier, and with worse hair’; and this is the sort of shit he says… ‘You know, sometimes it’s nice having you around. But now ain’t one of those times. Now gimmie the remote, we’re not watching this bullshit.’ ‘Happy Birthday, I didn’t get you a present… Oh, mom got you one? Well, that’s from me then, too – unless it’s shitty.’ ‘Your brother brought his baby over this morning. He told me it could stand. It couldn’t stand for shit. Just sat there. Big let down.’ ‘The worst thing you can be is a liar . . . Okay, fine, yes, the worst thing you can be is a Nazi, but THEN, number two is liar. Nazi 1, Liar 2.’ ‘Why the f**k would I want to live to 100? I’m 73 and shit’s starting to get boring. By the way, there’s no money left when I go, just fyi.’

‘Human beings fear the unknown. So, whatever's freaking you out, grab it by the balls and say hello. Then it ain't the unknown anymore and it ain't scary. Or I guess it could be a sh*tload scarier’ Sam Halpern Soon after Sh*t My Dad Says began to take off, comic writer Justin Halpern decided to take the plunge and propose to his then girlfriend. But before doing so, he asked his dad's advice, which was very, very simple (and surprisingly clean): 'Just take a day to think about it.' This book is the story of that trip down memory lane, a toe-curlingly honest pilgrim’s progress of teenage relationships, sex and love by one of the funniest writers at work today. Sh*t people say about Justin Halpern: ‘Ridiculously hilarious’ Chelsea Handler ‘Shoot-beer-out-your-nose funny’ Maxim ‘Funny, silly, honest, lively and fresh’ Sunday Times

For fans of Carl Hiaasen and Elmore Leonard: a fast-paced thriller about a young woman who reluctantly teams up with her deadbeat dad to find her missing mom, by the author of the #1 New York Times bestseller Sh*t My Dad Says When Lila Dixon gets a call that her mother has gone missing, she initially brushes it off--Mattie's disappearances are a part of life, like earthquakes in their dusty California hometown. But this time the prime suspect is Lila's larger-than-life father: the one-time baseball star, local hero, and fatal charmer John "Dix" Dixon. Dix's main accomplishment as a dad was finding new ways to disappoint his daughter, but even Lila knows he's not behind this. And when they uncover a $250,000 deposit to Mattie's bank account, and someone slips a threatening note under Lila's motel door, they realize Mattie may be in real danger. Now they're heading down a trail marked by unsavory Russian thugs, fat-cat farmers, and an unseen enemy who's always a step ahead. With crackling banter and characters that leap off the page, Get Lost is a fast-paced and emotionally layered mystery. Justin Halpern tells a story that's by turns hilarious and poignant: about fractured families, grudges that last a lifetime, and the unexpected ways we find our way back to the people we thought we'd lost for good.

For fans of Carl Hiaasen and Elmore Leonard: a fast-paced thriller about a young woman who reluctantly teams up with her deadbeat dad to find her missing mom, by the author of the #1 New York Times bestseller Sh*t My Dad Says When Lila Dixon gets a call that her mother has gone missing, she initially brushes it off--Mattie's disappearances are a part of life, like earthquakes in their dusty California hometown. But this time the prime suspect is Lila's larger-than-life father: the one-time baseball star, local hero, and fatal charmer John "Dix" Dixon. Dix's main accomplishment as a dad was finding new ways to disappoint his daughter, but even Lila knows he's not behind this. And when they uncover a $250,000 deposit to Mattie's bank account, and someone slips a threatening note under Lila's motel door, they realize Mattie may be in real danger. Now they're heading down a trail marked by unsavory Russian thugs, fat-cat farmers, and an unseen enemy who's always a step ahead. With crackling banter and characters that leap off the page, Get Lost is a fast-paced and emotionally layered mystery. Justin Halpern tells a story that's by turns hilarious and poignant: about fractured families, grudges that last a lifetime, and the unexpected ways we find our way back to the people we thought we'd lost for good.