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Self-Compassion: Stop Beating Yourself Up and Leave Insecurity Behind offers expert advice on how to limit self-criticism and offset its negative effects, enabling you to achieve your highest potential and a more contented, fulfilled life.More and more, psychologists are turning away from an emphasis on self-esteem and moving toward self-compassion in the treatment of their patients--and Dr. Neff's extraordinary book offers exercises and action plans for dealing with every emotionally debilitating struggle, be it parenting, weight loss, or any of the numerous trials of everyday living.

The bestselling author of Self-Compassion follows up her groundbreaking book with new ideas that expand our notion of self-kindness and its capacity to transform our lives, showing women how to balance tender self-acceptance with fierce action to claim their power and change the world.Kristin Neff changed how we talk about self-care with her enormously popular first book, Self-Compassion. Now, ten years and many studies later, she expands her body of work to explore a brand-new take on self-compassion. Although kindness and self-acceptance allow us to be with ourselves as we are, in all our glorious imperfection, the desire to alleviate suffering at the heart of this mindset isn't always gentle, sometimes it's fierce. We must also act courageously in order to protect ourselves from harm and injustice, say no to others so we can meet our own needs, and motivate necessary change in ourselves and society. Gender roles demand that women be soft and nurturing, not angry or powerful. But like yin and yang, the energies of fierce and tender self-compassion must be balanced for wholeness and wellbeing. Drawing on a wealth of research, her personal life story and empirically supported practices, Neff demonstrates how women can use fierce and tender self-compassion to succeed in the workplace, engage in caregiving without burning out, be authentic in relationships, and end the silence around sexual harassment and abuse. Most women intuitively recognize fierceness as part of their true nature, but have been discouraged from developing it. Women must reclaim their power in order to create a healthier society and find lasting happiness. This wise, caring, and enlightening book, now in paperback, shows women how to reclaim balance within themselves, so they can help restore balance in the world.

"A user-friendly guidebook to step boldly into our] full selves--fierce and tender, kind and powerful, compassionate toward ourselves, and devoted to healing our world. I recommend this book to everyone."--Elizabeth Lesser, cofounder of Omega Institute and bestselling author of Cassandra Speaks and Broken Open The author of the groundbreaking wellness classic Self-Compassion expands our notion of self-kindness and its capacity to transform our lives, showing us how to balance tender self-acceptance with fierce action to claim our power and change the world. Although kindness and self-acceptance allow us to be our imperfect selves, the desire to alleviate suffering at the heart of this mindset isn't always gentle: sometimes it's fierce. We must act courageously to protect ourselves from harm and injustice, say no to others to meet our own needs, and motivate change. Gender socialization often demands that we act according to the roles assigned us by society and culture. But like yin and yang, the energies of fierce and tender self-compassion must be balanced for wholeness and well-being. Kristin Neff explains how we can use fierce and tender self-compassion to succeed in the workplace, to engage in caregiving without burning out, to be authentic with or without a romantic relationship, and to end the silence around sexual harassment and abuse. We must develop fierceness inside us to create a healthier society, find lasting happiness, and achieve balance within ourselves to help restore balance in the world.

THE 10TH ANNIVERSARY EDITION WITH A NEW FOREWORD FROM KRISTIN NEFF'Kristin Neff offers practical, wise guidance on the path of emotional healing and deep inner transformation.' Tara Brach, PhD, author of Radical AcceptanceKristin Neff PhD, is a professor in educational psychology, and the world's expert on self-compassion. A pioneer who established self-compassion as a field of study, Kristin offers a powerful solution for combating negativity and insecurity - the symptoms of living in a high-pressure world.Through tried and tested exercises and audio downloads, readers learn the 3 core components that will help to heal destructive emotional patterns so that you can become healthier, happier, and replace negative and destructive measures of self-worth and success with a kinder and non-judgemental approach.Self-Compassion recognises that we all have weaknesses and limitations, but in accepting this we can discover new ways to achieve improved self-confidence, contentment and reach our highest potential. Simply, easily and compassionately. Kristin Neff's expert and practical advice offers a completely new set of personal development tools that will benefit everyone.'A portable friend to all readers ... who need to learn that the Golden Rule works only if it's reversible: We must learn to treat ourselves as well as we wish to treat others.' Gloria Steinem 'A beautiful book that helps us all see the way to cure the world - one person at a time - starting with yourself. Read it and start the journey.' Rosie O'Donnell

Obschestvo chasto trebuet ot nas stavit chuzhie potrebnosti na pervoe mesto, byt mjagkimi, zabotlivymi, podatlivymi i tikhimi. No chtoby zaschititsja ot nespravedlivosti, ne vsegda dostatochno mjagkogo otnoshenija, chasto trebuetsja zajavit o sebe vo ves golos.Obychno my chuvstvuem, chto v nas est i tverdaja chast - ta, chto umeet zlitsja, otstaivat svoju tochku zrenija i zaschischat blizkikh. No mnogie skryvajut ee, potomu chto zlitsja "ne prinjato".Kristin Neff, opirajas na mnogochislennye issledovanija, dostizhenija kognitivnoj psikhologii, podtverzhdennye praktiki i sobstvennyj opyt, raskryvaet, kak samosostradanie pomogaet zhenschinam prinjat vse chasti svoej natury i nauchitsja ispolzovat kak nezhnost, tak i silu. S pomoschju etikh kachestv my mozhem dobivatsja lichnogo i professionalnogo uspekha, zabotitsja o sebe i ne vygorat, byt iskrennimi v otnoshenijakh, reshitelno zajavljat o svoikh pravakh i protivodejstvovat nasiliju i prinuzhdeniju.Kniga pomozhet nauchitsja byt tverzhe v otnoshenijakh s okruzhajuschimi i mjagche v otnoshenii k sebe. Najti istochnik sily vnutri, chtoby dejstvovat smelo, ne bojatsja govorit "net", perestat byt udobnym instrumentom dlja udovletvorenija chuzhikh potrebnostej i nachat dumat ob ispolnenii sobstvennykh zhelanij.Dlja kogo kniga: Dlja tekh, kto khochet najti istochnik sily vnutri sebja, ukrepit samootsenku, nauchitsja ispolzovat samosostradanie i otstaivat lichnye granitsy.

Doktor Neff, veduschij mirovoj ekspert v teme samosostradanija, objasnjaet, kak ispravit destruktivnye emotsionalnye patterny, chtoby byt zdorovee, schastlivee i effektivnee.V nashej kulture pooschrjaetsja trebovatelnost k sebe. My stremimsja byt luchshe, privlekatelnee, silnee, chem okruzhajuschie, prilagaem dlja etogo mnogo usilij, no na dele vsegda nakhoditsja kto-to bolee umnyj, uspeshnyj, privlekatelnyj, chem vy. I kogda eto obnaruzhivaetsja, vnutrennij kritik prosypaetsja, samootsenka padaet, a vmeste s nej pritupljaetsja oschuschenie schastja i udovletvorennosti.Odnako est alternativa samootsenke - samosostradanie. Soglasno rezultatam issledovanija doktora Kristin Neff, ljudi, kotorye s sochuvstviem otnosjatsja k sebe i svoim nedostatkam, bolee schastlivy, nezheli te, kto sklonen sebja osuzhdat. Krome togo, samosostradanie daet nam chuvstvo bezopasnosti i sobstvennogo dostoinstva, chto ochen vazhno, osobenno v te vremena, kogda padaet samootsenka. Samosostradanie podrazumevaet tri komponenta (osoznannost, dobrota k sebe i vosprijatie sebja kak chasti soobschestva).Iz knigi vy uznaete, pochemu vazhno sostradat samomu sebe (a ne prosto ljubit sebja!) i podderzhivat sebja tak zhe, kak vy podderzhali by khoroshego druga. V knige est prakticheskie uprazhnenija i istorii, blagodarja kotorym vy nauchites byt k sebe po-nastojaschemu dobrym.Dlja kogo eta kniga:Dlja vsekh, komu neobkhodima podderzhka i zabota.Dlja tekh, kto stradaet ot nizkoj samootsenki .Dlja tekh, kto slishkom kritichen po otnosheniju k sebe i chasto nedovolen soboj.Ot avtora:Bespreryvno nasyschaja svoju potrebnost v polozhitelnoj samootsenke, my nemnogo napominaem cheloveka, obedajuschegosja konfetami. My lovim kajf ot sakhara, no tut ego uroven nachinaet padat. I majatnik srazu dvizhetsja v druguju storonu, nastupaet otchajanie: my ponimaem, chto, kak by nam etogo ni khotelos, my ne mozhem vsegda vinit v svoikh problemakh drugikh ljudej. My ne mozhem vsegda chuvstvovat sebja osobennymi i vyshe srednego urovnja. Chasto eto privodit k katastroficheskim rezultatam. My smotrimsja v zerkalo, nam ne nravitsja to, chto my vidim (kak v figuralnom, tak i v bukvalnom smysle), i nam stanovitsja stydno. Priznav nakonets kakoj-to svoj nedostatok ili promakh, bolshinstvo iz nas obkhoditsja s soboj neverojatno surovo. "Ja nedostatochno khorosh. Ja nichego ne stoju". Esli chestnost svjazana so stol strogim osuzhdeniem, neudivitelno, chto my skryvaem ot sebja pravdu.V sluchajakh, kogda provesti sebja nelegko - naprimer, pri sravnenii svoego vesa s vesom fotomodelej ili svoego scheta v banke so schetami bogatykh i preuspevajuschikh ljudej, - my prichinjaem sebe neverojatnuju dushevnuju bol. My terjaem veru v sebja, nachinaem somnevatsja v svoikh sposobnostjakh i utrachivaem nadezhdu. V etom plachevnom sostojanii my, konechno, brosaemsja esche bolshe vinit sebja, tverdit, kakie my passivnye neudachniki, i uvjazaem vse krepche i krepche.I pust dazhe nam udaetsja vzjat sebja v ruki - ideal cheloveka, schitajuschegosja "dostatochno khoroshim", vse vremja kazhetsja muchitelno nedosjagaemym. My dolzhny byt i umnymi, i fizicheski krepkimi, i stilnymi, i interesnymi, i preuspevajuschimi, i seksualnymi. Akh da, i odukhotvorennymi tozhe. I kakikh by uspekhov my ni dobivalis, nas ne pokidaet oschuschenie, chto u kogo-to poluchaetsja esche luchshe. Etot obraz myslej privodit k shokirujuschim rezultatam: milliony ljudej vynuzhdeny kazhdyj den prinimat lekarstva, inache oni ne mogut spravljatsja s obychnymi povsednevnymi delami. Neuverennost, trevozhnost, depressija chrezvychajno rasprostraneny v nashem obschestve, i eto vo mnogom sledstvie samoosuzhdenija, samobichevanija, k kotorym my pribegaem, kogda nam kazhetsja, chto pobeda v igre pod nazvaniem "zhizn" ot nas uskolzaet.Perevodchik: Dikhter Olga, Rudnitskaja N.

Miksi meidän on usein paljon helpompi suhtautua ystävällisesti toisiin ihmisiin kuin itseemme?Hyvää itsetuntoa pidetään onnellisuuden ja menestyksen edellytyksenä äärimmäisen kilpailuhenkisessä nykymaailmassa, jossa meidän tulee jatkuvasti parantaa suoritustamme, olla muita edellä. Vaikka hyvä itsetunto saa olon tuntumaan hetken ajan hyvältä, tilanne voi muuttua salamannopeasti, kun vertaamme itseämme toisiin ja huomaamme, että aina löytyy joku, joka on paremman näköinen, menestyneempi tai älykkäämpi.Viime vuosina onkin itsetunnon sijaan alettu kiinnittää huomiota toiseen hyvinvoinnille keskeiseen tekijään - myötätuntoon. Monet suhtautuvat itseensä hyvin kriittisesti, ja myötätunnon osoittaminen itselle voi aluksi tuntua ajatuksena vieraalta. Tutkimukset kuitenkin paljastavat, että myötätuntoisesti omiin epäonnistumisiinsa ja puutteisiinsa suhtautuvat voivat huomattavasti paremmin kuin ne, jotka jatkuvasti kritisoivat ja syyttelevät itseään.

Miksi meidän on usein paljon helpompi suhtautuaystävällisesti toisiin ihmisiin kuin itseemme?Hyvää itsetuntoa pidetään onnellisuuden ja menestyksenedellytyksenä äärimmäisen kilpailuhenkisessä nykymaailmassa, jossa meidän tulee jatkuvasti parantaa suoritustamme, olla muita edellä. Vaikka hyvä itsetunto saa olon tuntumaan hetken ajan hyvältä, tilanne voi muuttua salamannopeasti, kun vertaamme itseämme toisiin.Viime vuosina onkin itsetunnon sijaan alettu kiinnittää huomiota toiseen hyvinvoinnille keskeiseen tekijään - myötätuntoon. Monet suhtautuvat itseensä hyvin kriittisesti, ja myötätunnon osoittaminen itselle voi aluksi tuntua ajatuksena vieraalta. Tutkimukset kuitenkin paljastavat, että myötätuntoisesti omiin epäonnistumisiinsa ja puutteisiinsa suhtautuvat voivat huomattavasti paremmin kuin ne, jotka jatkuvasti kritisoivat ja syyttelevät itseään.Kristin Neff on Teksasin yliopiston professori ja maailmanjohtavia myötätuntotutkijoita. Empiiristen tutkimusten, tapauskertomusten, käytännön harjoitusten ja huumorin avulla hän neuvoo, miten voimme luopua liiallisesta itsekritiikistä ja opetella kohtelemaan itseämme ystävällisesti - ja parantaa siten hyvinvointiamme kokonaisvaltaisesti.

Eta kniga predlagaet novyj vzgljad na prichiny i preodolenie khronicheskoj ustalosti i poterju motivatsii. Avtory - vsemirno izvestnye eksperty v teme samosostradanija - objasnjajut, kak vnutrennie ustanovki, perfektsionizm i postojannaja samokritika usilivajut stress i uskorjajut pojavlenie emotsionalnogo vygoranija. Razvitie sochuvstvija k sebe - umenija podderzhivat sebja v trudnye momenty s dobrotoj i ponimaniem - javljaetsja kljuchom k preodoleniju vygoranija i vosstanovleniju energii. Prisvojte sebe pravo byt neidealnym i nachnite novyj put k sebe!