Kirjahaku

This book pairs my erotica with the true story of my intimate relationships and then adds my analysis of the main themes around trauma, emotional skills, and authenticity. Nietzsche said 'That which doesn't kill us, makes us stronger'. My story bears this out on more than one occasion. My erotica is as intense and challenging as is my life story. It is full of BDSM, fetish, and power exchange dynamics. The lines between the fantasy and my lived reality are easy to blur. I hope that this book will excite, inspire and open doors. There is light no matter how long you have been in the darkness. It is a matter of learning how to kindle the flame and light the torch. We are all works in progress, can learn from our patterns and develop new skills no matter what stage we are at in life. It remains my mission to take sex and conversations about sex from the shadows to the light.

People frequently come to therapy and coaching believing that they are broken. They have been told this by parents, friends, family, partners, teachers, and finally therapists, counsellors and doctors. Caregivers, partners, well-meaning people tell them they feel these things, they make these awful choices, or they have these negative experiences because they are broken. Over the past 33 years, I have worked with thousands of people and the vast majority of them don't have something wrong with them. They are just missing skills. I will say this again so it sinks in: You are not broken. You are missing skills. This book is made up of education about the skills, examples from my life and the life of my clients, and step-by-step plans to learn some of the skills complete with exercises. Why are these skills so important?When a person lacks these skills, it sets them up to experience more difficult situations throughout their lives. I have dedicated a chapter to the results of gaslighting in all its forms because this abusive behaviour robs people of some of the most essential skills and sets them up for emotional abuse, intimate partner violence, rape, sexual violence, and physical abuse/assault later in life. Emotional, coping and relationship skills make it possible for us to integrate well with others, keep a solid sense of self and self-worth and create and maintain relationships that bring all parties joy.

This collection includes a winter woodland story, a smith story, an homage to butch leather women, a story set on a train, one in a hair salon. Get comfortableenjoy a peek into my erotic world.

Most of the erotica in this volume was written between May of 2020 and February of 2021. A few pieces were revisions of older pieces, ones written between 2000 and 2014. As usual, some of the erotica is extreme. I write about the things that turn my lovers on, the things that turn me on. I write about BDSM, fetishes, and polyamory. I often write from my experience. When I am not writing from my experience, my characters inhabit my mind, my dreams and speak to me insistently until I write them.This collection includes a winter woodland story inspired by a Tiktok thirst trap, a smith story inspired by a trip to a Renaissance Faire, an homage to butch leather women, a story set on a train journey, one in a hair salon. There is poetry, prose and straight smut. Get comfortable and enjoy a peek into my erotic world.

This book pairs my erotica with the true story of my intimate relationships and then adds my analysis of the main themes around trauma, emotional skills and authenticity. My erotica is as intense and challenging as is my life story.It is full of BDSM, fetish and power exchange dynamics. The lines between the fantasy and my lived reality are easy to blur. I hope that this book will excite, inspire and open doors. There is light no matter how long you have been in the darkness. It is a matter of learning how to kindle the flame and light the torch. We are all works in progress, can learn from our patterns, develop new skills no matter what stage we are at in life. It remains my mission to take sex and conversations about sex from the shadow to the light.

Therapists and counsellors, in training and practice, will welcome this concise and practical introduction to the TIR approach for helping clients with PTSD and other human traumas. The book is application-based, providing a step-by-step guide from initial assessment to the last counselling session, illustrated with many examples from actual sessions. TIR is a person-centred, structured approach which can achieve symptom resolution in a brief course of counselling (often about 20 hours)respect and value the client's experience and needswork alongside a variety of therapy methods in a holistic wayminimise the risk of re-traumatization The authors provide a review of the major theories of stress and trauma, and of other methods of working with clients that are most useful alongside the TIR approach, an approach that is useful for a wide range of 'normal life' traumas, not just PTSD.