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6 kirjaa tekijältä Mark Leigh

Epic Fail

Epic Fail

Mark Leigh

Virgin Books
2013
pokkari
Herewith a handful of sample entries to tickle your funny bones…In the 1824 war between Britain and Ashanti (now part of Ghana), the British Redcoats found themselves surrounded by 10,000 fierce Ashanti warriors, and running very low on ammunition. Their commander ordered Charles Brandon, the army’s stores manager, to break open the reserve ammunition he’d ordered. As the Ashanti advanced Brandon began to open the ammunition boxes – only to find he had brought the wrong supplies. They were all full of biscuits. The grandfather of film star Lana Turner owned a half share in a brand new company that had started bottling a fizzy drink. He thought the drink’s name would affect its saleability and wanted to change it – without success. In frustration and as a protest he sold his 50%. It’s a pity really because Coca-Cola became quite popular…Italian Vittoria Luise was out driving during a fierce storm in Naples. A huge gust of wind blew his car into the River Sele. The car began to sink, but the calm motorist managed to break a window and swim to safety. He dragged himself onto the riverbank – and it was here that he was hit by a falling tree and killed.The Times of 19 October 1986 carried the story of Emilio Tarra, a crewmember of the 1986 America’s Cup race, who was driving from Perth towards Adelaide during the Australian leg of the race. En route, his car sideswiped a kangaroo, leaving it sprawled across the road. Tarra got out of his car and, assuming the kangaroo was dead, decided to take a novelty photograph to show his colleagues. Dressing the kangaroo up in his smart team blazer, he propped it against his car to take its photograph. As he was focusing his camera, the kangaroo, which had only been stunned, woke up and bounded back off into the bush, taking with it the jacket, which contained Tarra’s passport, $2,000 worth of cash and his credit cards.
How To Make It In Advertising

How To Make It In Advertising

Mark Leigh

Virgin Books
2013
nidottu
Advertising. Is it really 'the greatest art form of the twentieth century' (Marshall McLuhan)? Whatever your views, it is undeniably one of the most popular career choices going-and one of the most difficult to get into. If you want to be creative and make money, or simply fancy trying your handat a job in one of the most powerful industries around, then this indispensable guide is all you'll need to get a foot in the door and keep a step ahead of the competition. It's a careers guide with a difference, using the experience and wisdom of some of the industry's top people. You'll find essential advice on how to get started and how to get ahead, as well as the insider's view of the genuine pros and cons of each job, from copywriter to account handler. Your new career starts here.
How to Talk Teen

How to Talk Teen

Mark Leigh

Robinson
2016
sidottu
What's ILL in one place can be WACK in another, or the same word can actually have TOTES different meanings. It's CRAY CRAY! From KEWL girls hitting on HENCH boys to wannabe gangstas hangin' with their DOGGS in the ENDZ, teen slang can leave NOOBS CONFUZZLED. If you want to appear DOPE or just want to know WTF is going on, How to Talk Teen is the ultimate guide!Bugly : Short for butt ugly; exceeded on the ugly ranking by dugly and fugly. Pfun: More than mere fun. This is pure fun. Rando: A random person who appears at parties but who no one seems to know, let alone invited.Hiberdating: Disappearing from view because you're spending almost all your time with your new boyfriend/girlfriend.Nodel: Someone who thinks they look like a model . . . but nobody else does.Rentsy: Acting like parents, i.e. acting responsibly or demonstrating a nauseating taste in music. Mis-wave: To wave back at someone you think is waving at you, but who was actually waving to someone else.Ugly radius: The distance from you that someone stops looking attractive.Hot mess: Someone attractive who looks cool and in control, but who's an emotional train wreck. Lipsin: Kissing energetically - but less aggressively than a full-on snog.Selfie claw: Your contorted hand as you simultaneously hold your phone and take the photo.Air Five: High-five greeting to someone from across a room.Endz: The street where you live or the immediate neighbourhood. Pit stick: Underarm antiperspirant/deodorant.Top bantz: Particularly insightful or mocking banter. Hashtag Douchebag: A moron who uses hashtags excessively in anything they type in an attempt to be witty
The Older Person's Guide to New Stuff
STRUGGLING TO STAY IN TOUCH WITH ELDERLY PARENTS DURING THE LOCKDOWN? WANTING TO HELP ISOLATED RELATIVES WITH ONLINE ORDERING? THIS IS THE PERFECT GUIDE FOR ANYONE GRAPPLING FOR THE FIRST TIME WITH FACETIME, GOOGLE HANGOUTS OR ANY OTHER ASPECT OF THE MODERN WORLD.A handy guide for anyone who says, 'The Facebook' or 'The Google' or who asks, 'Do they deliver emails on Sunday?' This is a book for the elderly and not-so-elderly who are bamboozled not just by the technology of the contemporary world, but also various modern concepts and conceits that the more youthful take for granted.It explains a host of modern concepts and technologies that have entered everyday use and parlance but which are alien (and possibly frightening) not just to the elderly - but probably also to anyone over 45. These concepts are universal and should therefore appeal to readers in the UK, Australia, US and Europe. The definitions are all real, but entertaining, making use of easy-to-understand 'real world' references or examples to explain them.
World According To Nigel Farage

World According To Nigel Farage

Mark Leigh

John Blake Publishing Ltd
2015
nidottu
Are you belligerent, tetchy and bigoted? Is being called 'ill-informed and intolerant' a badge of honour rather than an insult? Do you go into fits of absolute apoplexy when you hear the words Eurozone, Ikea and Caramel Macchiato? Are you confused and annoyed by muesli, multiculturalism and women in the armed forces? Do you take great comfort in familiarity and find yourself saying, 'Back in my day - ', 'I remember when - ' and 'Call that art?' Congratulations! You're an ideal UKIP supporter or, even better, candidate - and this is the book for you! Covering a wide range of topics, not just the EU, 'The Guide to Britishness, Patriotism and Other Stuff' is as much about what puts the Great in Great Britain as is it is about what's wrong with foreigners.
Is It In Yet? The Big Book of Sexual Failures

Is It In Yet? The Big Book of Sexual Failures

Mark Leigh

John Blake Publishing Ltd
2015
nidottu
Sexual failures of the world unite! Now is the time to stand up and be counted (or measured). A celebration of sexual failures, Is It In Yet? is an antidote to all those self-help books obsessed with sexual performance. Aimed not just at those with serious shortcomings, it's a book for anyone for whom the phrase 'cock-up in the bedroom' is only ever associated with humiliation. These bizarre but true tales of sexual stupidity and strangeness include: The perils of having sex with a hot lasagne * The couple who suffocated while making love in the back of a hearse * The flasher who only exposed himself to department store mannequins * The man who mistook superglue for lubricant * Alarming fetishes including clowns, falling downstairs and licking eyeballs * The man who married his horse (and gave her lingerie) * The woman who took five years to discover her boyfriend was actually female If it's deviant, disturbing or just plain dumb...you'll find it in Is It In Yet?