Kirjahaku

Whether we acknowledge it or not, our mothers leave an indelible impression on the persons we become. Our ability to function emotionally in relationships - both personal and professional - is based on our mothers' deep influence. In a book full of insights and wisdom based on a career of helping others, acclaimed psychologist Stephan B. Poulter shows how the mother factor can work either for or against us. The key to allowing this important legacy to work for us, says Dr. Poulter, depends on understanding our mother's pervasive influence on our life. He shows that the way we connect emotionally in adult relationships is based on the "style" of our mothers. Dr. Poulter defines the five major styles of mothering as: The Perfectionist Mother-whose family must look perfect in every way The Unpredictable Mother-whose ups and downs can create lifelong anxiety and depression in her son or daughter The "Me First" Mother-whose children come second or last The "Best Friend" Mother-who's now in vogue but can wreak havoc The Complete Mother-who provides guidance and shows compassion to her child. Although most mothers are a combination of the above, many fit more into one category than others. Even though as adults, we tend to dismiss our past as the past, we do so at risk to ourselves. Only by understanding how our mother's legacy affects us today can we transcend the mysterious anger, anxiety, depression, and shame that we feel, and achieve the kind of relationships we deserve. Dr. Poulter demonstrates how the internalized "rulebook" we inherit from our mothers is a very powerful force. These unspoken rules govern work, relationships, emotions, separation, and independence. Unless we become aware of the rules that guide our behavior, thoughts, and beliefs, we won't have the ability to make our own choices. This enlightening book will help readers connect with their past to correct self-defeating behaviors, reach their full emotional potentials, and live happier, more fulfilling lives.

Over two-thirds of American families are "blended," which means they are made up of remarried adults and often stepchildren. Although it's good news that many divorced people remarry, the bad news is that too many of them carry the animosities and negative behavior patterns of their former heartbreaks into their new situation. In this supportive and uplifting book that is aimed at both men and women, Dr. Stephan B. Poulter—acclaimed author of The Father Factor and The Mother Factor—tackles this pervasive problem with great sensitivity and understanding. Dividing the work into three parts, Dr. Poulter takes the reader step by step from the anguish of divorce to the security of a stronger and more fulfilling future attachment. In part one, he explains how breakups happen and explores the challenges of dealing with the emotional wreckage, from guilt and anger to feelings of rejection and despair. Part two describes five relationship styles and helps readers develop insight into their own styles so that present and future relationships can grow in a healthy and refreshed atmosphere. In part three he shows ways to go beyond blame, tension, and other "ex-factors" and objectively assess inner needs. As Dr. Poulter shows, the key to forming lasting bonds with another is discovering exactly what one needs to feel loved. Your Ex-Factor will be a welcome resource to anyone trying to move forward beyond the pain of emotional loss and rediscover the joys of loving again regardless of prior history, circumstances, "old baggage," or fears. This invaluable guide will open your eyes to promote healthy and truly fulfilling relationships now and into the future.

A popular clinical psychologist explores an often misunderstood and unrecognized emotion that's the root cause of many self-defeating and harmful behaviors.Emotional paralysis, a distorted view of self, a feeling of being a fraud, lack of trust in others, fear of criticism resulting in underdeveloped talents, and a chronic sense of being worthless, invisible, or disposable--these are typical symptoms of shame. In this book, psychologist Stephan B. Poulter delves into this "primary emotional wound." Distinguishing it from commonplace guilt over a particular moral failing, he describes this toxic emotion as a pervasive but largely unrecognized "emotional cancer," with the power of undermining many aspects of life.Dr. Poulter guides the reader through exercises that teach one to expose this "big secret" and to recognize the triggers in daily life that arouse fears and other negative emotions. Beyond these first steps, he shows how we can continue the healing process of self-acceptance, self-forgiveness, empathy, and a new sense of inner well-being.Based on thirty years of experience with patients of all ages and from many walks of life, this is a book full of insight and understanding, one that can help most of us discover and realize our full potentials.

A looming health crisis faces men who find themselves stuck in today’s changing world. Slowly, more and more men are learning the positives that come from talking openly about their struggles with mental and physical health. In this incisive and insightful guide to male mental health, popular clinical psychologist Stephan B. Poulter, Ph.D., unpacks the various issues that stem from male shame, including those surrounding anger, sexual orientation, wealth, physical performance and appearance, relationships, and much more. A New Masculinity is a practical guide for men of all ages to embrace their on-going process of developing a balanced, compassionate, and positive masculinity. Through case studies of real-life men from all walks of life alongside helpful analysis and practical, reader-focused exercises, this book provides:Practical applications to decode emotionsAction steps to address and release unresolved shame and angerWays to recalibrate your personal relationship to moneyMethods to set boundaries effectively and respectfullyStrategies to overcome fears of intimacy, rejection, and confrontationKeys to maintaining a loving long-term relationshipThe importance of male relationships and their value in helping other men heal and change Above all, A New Masculinity shows that embracing who and what you are is a pivotal part of your masculinity journey. By uncovering the interconnections of physical health, mental health, and personal motivation, this comprehensive guide will give you the tools to become your best self.