Kirjahaku

Adam Oliver hated me. Loathed my very existence. He had every right to, but that didn't make my life any easier the afternoon I had to rescue him on the side of the road.But worse than rescuing a guy who hated me to his core was the lie I told my parents.Because I'd just told them that my long-term boyfriend was finally back in town.My long-term boyfriend who didn't actually exist.The one named Adam Oliver-the guy I'd crushed on all through high school.So the real Adam had no idea that he and I were engaged in a years-long, committed, serious relationship.And, somehow, some way, I needed to convince him to play along with my one little lie.

**Please note: this novel contains mature subject matter and is not suitable for those under eighteen years of age.** When I was seventeen, I disappeared. I walked out the door of my apartment with a backpack and never looked back. I left the life of Cora Mitchell behind, seeking freedom from my real-life nightmare. But my freedom came with a cost. I lived a fictitious life for the next six years, never letting anyone close enough to see underneath the fa ade that was Andra Walker. I was content with my simple little life. Until I met Julian. And the moment I started allowing myself to open up, allowing someone to see through the superficial, was the very same moment the Monster from my past would return to find me.

When I was seventeen, I disappeared. I walked out of my apartment with a backpack and never looked back. I left the life of Cora Mitchell behind, seeking freedom from my real-life nightmare. But my freedom came with a cost. I lived a fictitious life for the next six years, never letting anyone close enough to see underneath the fa ade that was Andra Walker. I was content with my simple little life. Until I met Julian. And the moment I started allowing myself to open up, allowing someone to see through the superficial, was the very same moment the Monster from my past would return to find me. But this time, I wouldn't run away without a fight.

Six wasn't the hero I needed. But he was the man I wanted. And it was my selfish craving, the desire to own him, that would be our undoing. No one tells you that love is a disease. An infection that tears your heart apart, leaving you half the person you were before. A malady that leaves open wounds. An invisible disorder tracing scars in the places you couldn't see if you weren't looking for them. I was sick, but love didn't heal me. Instead, it festered in my marrow, and drove me to unforgivable mistakes. Six was my first mistake, but he wouldn't be the last.

I've been in love with him forever. But to him, I've always been off-limits. Until the night that changed everything. Maybe it was the alcohol. Maybe it was the secrets we shared. Maybe he finally opened his eyes and saw me. By the time the sun rose, I'd lost him again, my heart shattering on his parting words: "It was a mistake." So I ran. Ran until I was thousands of miles away, in a country I didn't know, surrounded by people who only made me miss him more. I never expected him to follow me ... or to pry more secrets from my soul. In exchange, he gave me more of his secrets too. The more he let me into his heart, the more I loved him, but I'm afraid that some secrets may be too big to overcome.

Mila"Don't let go." Those were my first words to him, as I hung over the side of a London bridge. The words I would soon say again, in a moment that didn't involve bridges, but something much more fragile: my heart.He held onto me for three weeks, in a time when I needed to be held. Needed to connect to someone who understood how loss tunneled unrepentantly through the fabric of your soul.Although he said he'd stay, we both knew he wouldn't. I had already survived one loss-I didn't know if I'd survive another. AmesShe spun into my life like a tornado of smiles and chatter and everything else I'd long avoided, with a persistence that I admired, albeit begrudgingly. She broke down each neat wall I'd constructed without even trying. Her presence alone caused me to remember what it felt like to smile, to look forward to what the day would bring.But it was only supposed to last three weeks."Don't let go," she'd pleaded.I'd promised her I wouldn't-but I would. I didn't have a choice.