TAKE YOUR TRAVEL TIPS FROM DAVE BARRY, A GUY WHO IS REALLY GONE Complete with maps, histories, quaint local facts (France's National Underwear Changing Day is March 12), song lyrics, helpful hints on how to get through Customs (all insects must be spayed), and tidbits from Dave Barry's own fond vacation nightmares, DAVE BARRY'S ONLY TRAVEL GUIDE YOU'LL EVER NEED is just that. You'll find everything you need to know in this incredibly comprehensive reference, including: - Air Travel (Or: Why Birds Never Look Truly Relaxed)- Traveling as a Family (Or: No, We Are NOT There Yet)- Traveling in Europe ("Excuse me Where is the Big Mona Lisa?")- Camping: Nature's Way of Promoting the Motel Industry
From the Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist comes a celebration of the aging process. Not just Dave's, but that of the whole Baby Boom Generation--those millions of us who set a standard for whining self-absorption that will never be equaled, and who gave birth to such stunning accomplishments as Saturday Night Live!, the New Age movement, and call waiting. Here Dave pinpoints the glaring signs that you've passed the half-century mark:- You are suddenly unable to read anything written in letters smaller than Marlon Brando.- You have accepted the fact that you can't possibly be hip. You don't even know if "hip" is the right word for hip anymore, and you don't care.- You remember nuclear-attack drills at school wherein you practiced protecting yourself by crouching under your desk, which was apparently made out of some kind of atomic-bomb-proof wood.- You can't name the secretary of defense, but you can still sing the Mister Clean song.So pop open a can of Geritol®, kick back in that recliner, grab those reading glasses, and let the good times roll--before they roll right over you! "QUOTING BARRY IS LIKE EATING PEANUTS. . . . ONCE YOU GET STARTED IT'S AWFULLY HARD TO STOP."--The Washington Post"RIOTOUS . . . [Barry] can find the humor in pretty much anything. And . . . he does not intend to go even slightly gently into that good night."--San Francisco Examiner
Pulitzer Prize-winning humorist Dave Barry is a pretty amiable guy. But lately, he's been getting a little worked up. What could make a mild-mannered man of words so hot under the collar? Well, a lot of things-like bad public art, Internet millionaires, SUVs, Regis Philbin . . . and even bigger problems, like - The slower-than-deceased-livestock left-lane drivers who apparently believe that the right lane is sacred and must never come in direct contact with tires- The parent-misery quotient of last-minute school science fair projects- Day trading and other careers that never require you to take off your bathrobe- The plague of the low-flow toilets, which is so bad that even in Miami, where you can buy drugs just by opening your front door and yelling "Hey I want some crack," you can't even sell your first born to get a normal-flushing toilet Dave Barry is not taking any of this sitting down. He's going to stand up for the rights of all Americans against ridiculously named specialty "-chino" coffees and the IRS. Just as soon as he gets the darn toilet flushed.
Dave Pelz's Putting Bible is the second book in a four-book series, the Dave Pelz Scoring Game Series. Over 150,000 readers have purchased Dave Pelz's Short Game Bible after just its first year of release publication, making the book an instant classic. Now, let Dave help you shape up your game on the greens with his new Putting Bible, which is sure to make all other putting manuals obsolete. Dave Pelz looks at putting, golf's least-understood skill, as no one has ever approached it before. Because a putt is the terminal shot on every hole and there is no possibility of recovery from short misses, putts count almost a disproportionate amount. Every golfer knows a 2-foot putt counts the same as a 300-yard drive--one stroke. And while the putting stroke is only one of several types of swings golfers make, it accounts for nearly half of all the swings made--43 percent--and perhaps as much as 80 percent of all the anguish and frustration involved in the game. These are some of the reasons every golfer needs Dave's insights into the putting game and the simplicity he brings to improving their ability to putt. Putting is also different in another way: It is one of the few skills in all of sport in which any player, regardless of size, strength, speed, gender, or education, can compete equally with--and have a realistic chance to surpass the skills of--the best professionals in the world. As Dave explains, putting is actually simple to understand and do. Once golfers grasp his concepts, they can perform on the greens as never before. Using decades of scientific research from studying thousands of golfers, Dave shows readers the simplicity of putting that escapes most golfers and lays out the fifteen well-defined building blocks of the putting game that each of us already has and owns. This comprehensive guide from the internationally revered master of the short game and putting game--packed with charts, photos, and easy-to-understand instruction--will be the essential volume for all golfers who want to take strokes off their score with better putting. A former NASA physicist and founder of the World Putting Championship, Dave brings a scientific rigor to his instruction that has made him the top putting expert in the world. Observing and teaching thousands of golfers to better their scores, Dave's body of knowledge in putting is unequaled. By uncovering the mysteries of this part of the game, Dave Pelz's Putting Bible raises putting instruction to a new level. Dave Pelz's Scoring Game Schools and clinics are renowned worldwide, attracting top players like Jesper Parnevik, Tom Kite, Colin Montgomerie, two-time U.S. Open Champion Lee Janzen, Vijay Singh, Steve Elkington, and many LPGA players including Annika Sorenstam and Liselotte Neumann.
A brilliantly funny look at the tumultuous recent past from the Pulitzer Prize?winning humorist. Remember when everything was going to go to hell when Y2K struck? That didn't happen. Right? But what did happen? To provide a little perspective on a really messed-up millennium (so far), the one and only Dave Barry slips into his historian's robe (it's plush terrycloth) and revisits the defining moments in our country's recent history?from the Bush years to?jeez, it's still the Bush years As an added bonus, Barry quickly?we?re busy here?tosses in the complete history of the last millennium, covering crucial turning points such as the invention of the pizza by Leonardo da Vinci and the computer by Charles Babbage (who died in 1871 still waiting to talk to tech support). Fellow Americans, the time has come to bone up with Barry as he puts the hysterical in history.
"Just the ticket for the '90s."SAN FRANCISCO CHRONICLEIf you're too young for a nursing home yet too old to be a rock star, if your marriage is as exciting as scraping grass off the lawnmower blades, then this hilarious book by Pulitzer-Prize-winning columnist and author is for you. Put on your protective eyewear and take a probing look inside your increasingly Spam-like body at: The Midlife (Yawn) Marriage; Wise Financial Planning for Irresponsible Scum Such as Yourself; Sex After 40 (or, Sex? After 40?), and other harsh, but amusing realities that leave you laughing, crying and drooling.
NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER - You can't make this stuff up. Dave Barry wouldn't lie--and here are the real life, laugh-out-loud stories from across America to prove it. Get up-close with Dave as he examines UFO thrillseekers and Elvis-worshippers, plays lead guitar with a horrifying rock band that includes Stephen King, and swears to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth in stories like these: - a U.S. Supreme Court justice shares his remedy for preventing gas ("I had not realized that this was a matter of concern in the highest levels of government") - a newspaper headline in Ohio announces the combustibility of strawberry Pop-Tarts ("A story that can really help you gain a better understanding of how you can be killed by breakfast snack food") - a frightening fact that snakes have mastered the pipelines leading directly to your toilet--and they're not shy ("Many women might view this as a fair punishment for all the billions of times that guys have left the seat up"). "Barry is at his best."--The Baltimore Sun "He zaps the funny bone."--The Cincinnati Post
"Dave Barry is one funny human."--San Francisco ExaminerFor thousands of years, women have asked themselves: What is the deal with guys, anyway? What are they thinking? The answer, of course, is: virtually nothing. Deep down inside, guys are extremely shallow.But that has not stopped Dave Barry from writing an entire book about them. If you're a guy--or if you're attempting to share a remote control with one--you need this book, because it deals frankly and semi-thoroughly with such important guy issues as: Scratching The role of guys in world history, including the heretofore-unknown relationship between the discovery of North America and golf Why the average guy can remember who won the 1960 World Series, but not necessarily the names of all his children The Noogie Gene Why guys cannot simultaneously think and look at breasts Secret guy orgasm-delaying techniques, including the Margaret Thatcher Method Why guys prefer to believe that there is no such thing as a prostate And much, much more"Whether you're a guy--or attempting to share a bathroom with one--Barry has some wacky words of wisdom for you."--USA Today
A Man Named Dave, which has sold over 1 million copies, is the gripping conclusion to Dave Pelzer's inspirational and New York Times bestselling trilogy of memoirs that began with A Child Called "It" and The Lost Boy."All those years you tried your best to break me, and I'm still here. One day you'll see, I'm going to make something of myself." These words were Dave Pelzer's declaration of independence to his mother, and they represented the ultimate act of self-reliance. Dave's father never intervened as his mother abused him with shocking brutality, denying him food and clothing, torturing him in any way she could imagine. This was the woman who told her son she could kill him any time she wanted to--and nearly did. The more than two million readers of Pelzer's New York Times and international bestselling memoirs A Child Called "It" and The Lost Boy know that he lived to tell his courageous story. With stunning generosity of spirit, Dave Pelzer invites readers on his journey to discover how he turned shame into pride and rejection into acceptance.
Yet another collection of wit and wisdom by Pulitzer Prize-winning humorist and author Dave Barry. This collection of essays explores a range of topics including traffic cops, dentists, and Congress. "Want to impress your friends? Tell them you read the latest work by the 1988 Pulitzer Prize-winner for commentary. Just don't tell them it's full of booger jokes".--Orange County Register
WINNER of the Greenhouse Funny Prize; SHORTLISTED for the Sainsbury's Book Award and numerous regional awards, this hilarious series is adored by its readers!If you can read this, you obviously understand Pigeonese. You may read my book.If you're a cat and you've learnt Pigeonese . . . (HA HA HA! As if a cat would be smart enough to learn Pigeonese). This must mean if you are a cat and you are able to read this, you have taken a pigeon hostage so that you can trick them into translating the Pigeonese words into Meow. I demand you release the hostage pigeon now. My book contains TOP SECRET ideas that are NONE of a cat's business.Dave Pigeon is writing a book on how he defeated Mean Cat in order to help fellow pigeons everywhere. Cats beware! A hilarious debut for 6+ readers with black and white illustrations by the superbly talented Sheena Dempsey.'A hilarious new series.' Angels and Urchins'A really enjoyable read for children just moving into chapter books.' Books for Keeps'Readers will love this action packed story about friendship, bravery and the lengths a pigeon will go to to secure themselves a crumbly treat.' Reading Zone'I can't imagine any child not loving Dave and waiting excitedly for his next adventure.' Serendipity Reviews'Readers will love it as it is full of daring and bravery, and much backfiring of ridiculous schemes and much crossing out.' The School Librarian
WINNER of the Greenhouse Funny Prize; SHORTLISTED for the Sainsbury's Book Award and numerous regional awards, this hilarious series is adored by its readers!This book is in Pigeonese. The following words are a test: cats smell of farts and cabbage. Could you read all the words? Are you sure? Do you want to try that fourth word again? If you managed to read ALL those words, you may turn the page . . .Dave Pigeon is BACK! And so is his side-kick Skipper. But trouble is afoot. When their Human Lady leaves to go on a 'holiday' (whatever that is), Dave and Skipper are horrified to find that their food supply quickly runs dry. With delicious biscuits on their minds, they set off in search of a new owner - but is Reginald Grimster all he seems? Why is he so keen on feeding them? And why does he have so many books about cooking . . .?Another hilarious instalment in the Dave Pigeon series from Greenhouse Funny Prize winner Swapna Haddow, brilliantly brought to life with Sheena Dempsey's illustrations.'A hilarious new series.' Angels and Urchins'A really enjoyable read for children just moving into chapter books.' Books for Keeps'Readers will love this action packed story about friendship, bravery and the lengths a pigeon will go to to secure themselves a crumbly treat.' Reading Zone'I can't imagine any child not loving Dave and waiting excitedly for his next adventure.' Serendipity Reviews'Readers will love it as it is full of daring and bravery, and much backfiring of ridiculous schemes and much crossing out.' The School Librarian
