Now that I am eighty years old, I feel that I have learned a few things about living. Honesty: A person's word is his/her honor. There are times when it is tempting to tell a falsehood, but if the truth is found out, the trust of another person is likely to be lost, and it may not ever be regained. However, one should not be brutally honest if it will hurt someone unnecessarily, and there are times when a little blarney adds zest to a conversation and a relationship. Appreciation and Compliments: All of us have a need to feel worthwhile and of some importance, and honest compliments foster those feelings. Compliments don't have to be about big things. They can be about little things: "You look very nice." "The dinner was really good." Thank you's, both written and oral, are important. On the other hand, slurs cast a dark shadow on the speaker as well as on the one being talked about. Outlook: It is more enjoyable to be with someone who has a pleasant outlook than with someone who has a negative one. Sarcasm: Should be used sparingly, if at all. It has a cutting edge which tends to be hurtful. Graciousness: There are many definitions for graciousness, but the one I like best is that it is that quality which, simply, makes another person comfortable. It is the quality which is entailed in all of the above suggestions. My father-in-law, Dr. Tom Hawkins, was a wise man. He said, "Don't take yourself too seriously, and let your friends fight your battles for you." Doing nice things for others brings happiness, so be kind, and, if you want to have friends, be one.
