Delbert's Bible

Men Seek Knowledge. Men Seek Women. Men Seek Adventure. For the heterosexual male, Knowledge, Women, and Adventure are three-natural-pursuits; and, within "Delbert's Bible," Knowledge brings Delbert… Lue lisää Men Seek Knowledge. Men Seek Women. Men Seek Adventure. For the heterosexual male, Knowledge, Women, and Adventure are three-natural-pursuits; and, within "Delbert's Bible," Knowledge brings Delbert his Philosophy; Women bring Delbert his Poetry; Adventure brings Delbert his Comedy. "Delbert's Bible" begins with Jerry, a real-life-multimillionaire whom Delbert meets in August of 1990 while working at Chrysler's Kokomo Transmission Plant (KTP) in Kokomo, Indiana. Jerry is 16-years-older than Delbert, and Jerry is quite bizarre. First-off, Jerry is filthy rich, with thousands-and-thousands of acres of profitable Indiana farmland, but Jerry continues to work inside KTP, a dirty factory. Also, whenever Jerry travels, he is very cautious with his money, as Jerry prefers to sleep at Motel 6 and eat at White Castles. Some might call Jerry frugal. Others might call Jerry thrifty. Most would call Jerry a tight-ass. Contrastingly, whenever Delbert travels, he is very carefree with his money, as Delbert prefers to sleep in nice motels and eat filet steaks. Some might call Delbert extravagant. Others might call Delbert a spendthrift. Most would call Delbert a fool. Regardless, by Thanksgiving of 1990, tight-ass Jerry and foolish Delbert have become best friends. Now, during his vacations from KTP, Jerry likes to travel. Thus, Delbert begins to schedule his vacations the same weeks as Jerry, and Jerry and Delbert begin travelling together. As Jerry drives, Delbert thinks. As Jerry wanders, Delbert wonders. During one drive from Kokomo to Sarasota, Delbert develops his Philosophical Theory or the StrangeReason, which is defined via the equation Y = (F X)C. In this equation, Y is You; F is Your Fate; X is Your Freewill; C is Chance. Thus, Your Life equals Your Freewill divided INTO Your Fate, the quotient multiplied by Chance. Now, during Jerry and Delbert's odd-couple-friendship, Delbert dates many women; such as: IDA MAY, a tall and beefy woman and a hilarious blind-date that is set-up by Jerry; THE FRENCH GIRL, a philosophical-petite-young-woman that Delbert meets on Siesta Key and who becomes quite bossy; SAINT LORI, a Born-Again-Christian-Woman and Delbert's True Love, a True Love that Delbert never consummates; MELANIE, a petite-sexy-blonde who is a manager at Walmart in Logansport and who is also a closet lesbian; BIG-TIT-SALLY, a waitress at Hacienda Restaurant in Kokomo who streaks naked inside the Indianapolis Motor Speedway; MARCHANN JEFFERSON, a Beautiful-Black-American-Woman, a surgery nurse, who pressures Delbert to say the N-word and then who heartily laughs at Delbert when he reluctantly does-so; MARGOT, a psychoanalyst from Manhattan, an incredible beauty with Virtuoso Female Aesthetics who resembles a 1980s version of Morgan Fairchild and who listens to Delbert's elucidation of his Philosophical Theory of the StrangeReason while Delbert and Margot eat pizza at a restaurant on Siesta Key; and many others. Jerry also has some girlfriends, but not as many as Delbert. Regardless, Jerry and Delbert have many Adventures, which often become comical riots. "Delbert's Bible" is about Knowledge. "Delbert's Bible" is about Women. "Delbert's Bible" is about Adventure. Knowledge brings Delbert his Philosophy. Women bring Delbert his Poetry. Adventures bring Delbert his Comedy. "Delbert's Bible" is autobiographical fiction tailored for the philosophical-heterosexual-adventurous-man. Nevertheless-male, female, Straight, Gay, or something-in-between-if you choose to read "Delbert's Bible," Delbert makes you one guarantee: YOU WILL NOT BE BORED (Note: Actually, this book is only 25-percent of, "Delbert's Bible; that is, about 350,000 words. The other 75-percent-1,050,00-words are still being hammered-out. Delbert's email is ddostoevsky@aol. com).