A H Fitzsimons

Having been ill for over two years with what he thought was colitis, the author was admitted to hospital in February 2003. He was diagnosed with advanced non-Hodgkin lymphoma. Despite a series of operations his condition steadily deteriorated. By August, he was less than half his normal body weight, had lost two major organs, had suffered a massive stroke, and was the subject of a 'do not resuscitate' order. Shortly after this, treatment for the lymphoma was found to be totally ineffective. At this point, at less than half his normal bodyweight, the doctors deemed survival impossible ...

What would you do if you were trapped in a hopeless situation and all you faced was despair and death? In 2003 the author was admitted to hospital with what transpired to be advanced non-Hodgkin's lymphoma. Over the next six months he was to lose two major organs, suffer a blood clot on the lung, a brain stem stroke and a 'do not resuscitate' order was placed on him. Shortly after this, treatment for the lymphoma was found to be totally ineffective. It was at this point, at less than half his normal bodyweight, the doctors deemed survival impossible. Twenty years after his recovery the author details the strategy he adopted - where he strove to function as a machine that denied the present and programmed the future.

What do you do with a broken soldier? After being tortured and left for dead, a former sergeant in the SAS is sent to die in a retirement town on the east coast of Scotland. He accepts that it's only a matter of time before he puts an end to all the pain. Then he learns that the Scottish legal system has failed someone close to him, a woman who is also broken ...

An experimental anti-terrorism program. A medical cover-up. A series of brutal murders in Scotland's capital. A police officer with a disturbing past. A young woman with an uncertain future. Two lives drawn together in a world tearing itself apart.