Aaron Reynolds

After vanquishing the evil lamia and earning the praise of The Great and Powerful Kevin, Pan, Moxie, and Fart are feeling great. Their hero cred is at an all-time high and they are starting to feel like seasoned adventurers. But that all changes when Kevin summons them for a new quest. Their goal: find a rare and monstrous creature of truly horrific power: a bedazzler. And bring back . . . its barf. But finding a bedazzler is no easy task. Luckily, Kevin has a lead to point the fledgling heroes in the right direction. Rumor tells of a pirate captain that may be the only living soul to know the location of a beholder. Can Fart and the gang win over this ruthless Pirate King and his crew? And if they finally make it to the dreaded bedazzler, how the heck are they going to get its barf?

This 12-month weekly desk pad is chock-full of feathered friends with bold and brazen truth bombs to drop! Each weekly spread features vintage bird art paired with sweary sayings that will ruffle feathers and make a splash. Keep track of appointments and meetings in generously-sized weekly grid space. Record the long list of shit you need to get done in the aptly named “Shit To Do” section. Stay on top of your schedule using the month-at-a-glance calendarial conveniently provided on each weekly spread. But most importantly, let these effin’ birds bring you joy and make you laugh each and every day of 2024—all while expanding your swear-word vocabulary! Features include:Weekly desk pad can also be used as a computer mouse pad9" x 7.25" page sizePrinted on FSC certified paper with soy-based inkColor tear-off weekly pagesSpans January–December 2024Generous space for recording tasks, appointments, reminders, meal planning, and habits trackingMonth-at-a-glance on each weekly pageOfficial major world holidays and observancesSweary commentary and vintage bird artwork changes weekly

These irreverent playing card decks feature fowl-beaked statements from some of the rudest birds on earth, accompanied by Audubon bird illustrations--from the author of Effin' Birds. Bird identification has a grand and noble tradition--but you won't find that in Effin' Birds Playing Cards, which pairs elegant illustrations with dirty sayings, witty insults, and a crapload of poop jokes. Based on the laugh-out-loud success of Effin' Birds, this pair of playing card decks includes: two rude and ridiculous card decks, perfect for playing your favorite card game or just as a pick-me-up108 cards featuring glorious full-color Audubon portraits and black and white sketches and engravings of birds saying the things that should not be saida simple and snarky booklet offering the rules for classic card gamesBirders, their friends and families, and anyone who relishes irreverent mashup humor will love using these colorful cards for any effin' game.

After their latest quest, Fart, Pan, Moxie, and TickTock return to the Great and Powerful Kevin to claim their reward - a chance for Pan to see her mother, who died many years ago. But bringing back Pan’s mum seems impossible. Is Kevin full of hot air? When our heroes sniff out the truth behind his secret plans, a terrifying danger is unleashed, sending the friends on a nail-biting journey. Will their nose for trouble take them down for good? Or will they finally prove that they deserve the sweet smell of success? In this epic conclusion to the first four books in the Fart Quest series, Fart and friends discover that a true hero is not measured in the sum of their mistakes. But in the difference they make in spite of them.

In this Caldecott Honor–winning picture book, The Twilight Zone comes to the carrot patch as a rabbit fears his favorite treats are out to get him.Jasper Rabbit loves carrots—especially Crackenhopper Field carrots. He eats them on the way to school.He eats them going to Little League.He eats them walking home.Until the day the carrots start following him...or are they? Celebrated artist Peter Brown’s stylish illustrations pair perfectly with Aaron Reynold’s text in this hilarious picture book that shows it’s all fun and games…until you get too greedy.

From the team behind the New York Times bestselling Creepy Carrots! and Creepy Pair of Underwear! comes the third in this hilariously spooky series about a young rabbit and his peculiar encounters—featuring a sinister crayon!Jasper Rabbit has a problem: he is NOT doing well in school. His spelling tests? Disasters. His math quizzes? Frightening to behold. But one day, he finds a crayon lying in the gutter. Purple. Pointy. Perfect. Somehow…it looked happy to see him. And it wants to help. At first, Jasper is excited. Everything is going great. His spelling is fantastic. His math is stupendous. And best of all, he doesn’t have to do ANY work! But then the crayon starts acting weird. It’s everywhere, and it wants to do everything. And Jasper must find a way to get rid of it before it takes over his life. The only problem? The creepy crayon will not leave.

Birds that swear? Yes, please! Each day of this highly entertaining day-to-day calendar combines vintage wood-cut drawings with humorous and explicit captions, that will both shock and entertain you. Features include: • 5.25 x 4.375" page size • Easel backer for desk or tabletop display • Printed on FSC certified paper with soy-based ink • Full-color tear-off pages • Back of pages are blank for notes or shopping lists • Day/Date reference on each page • Combined weekend pages • Official major world holidays and observances • Features vintage bird art accompanied by snarky and profane captions

These brazen birds aren’t afraid to say the things we’re all secretly thinking. Each month spotlights some of the most “fowl-mouthed” birds around and their profane thoughts. It’s the perfect calendar for bird lovers with a sarcastic sense of humor. Features include:• 12" x 12" (12" x 24" open)• Printed on FSC certified paper with soy-based ink• Planning spread for September–December 2022• Spans January–December 2023• Generous grid space for notes, appointments, and reminders• Official major world holidays and observances• Moon phases, based on Universal Time• Features vintage bird art accompanied by snarky and profane captions• New artwork on each monthly spread

One hour and fourteen minutes later, the chicken is dead (by a steamroller), Rex is cursed (by the Grim Reaper), and wild animals are haunting Rex's room (hounding him for answers). Even his best friend Darvish is not going to believe this, and that kid believes everything.Rex's uninvited ghostly guests are a chatty, messy bunch. And they need Rex to solve their mysterious deadly departures from the Middling Falls Zoo before it happens again. But how?

"If you love fantasy, funny humor, flatulence, and friends, then Aaron Reynolds has written the perfect book for you " --DAN SANTAT, author of The Aquanut, Sidekicks, and The Adventures of Beekle Jam-packed with potty humor, feats of bravery, and magical friendships, Fart Quest by bestselling author Aaron Reynolds is perfect for every young hero looking for a wild adventure. After their masters are vaporized in a goblin battle gone bad, Fart, Pan, and Moxie--three lowly apprentices--decide to impersonate their mentors and pick up the mantle as heroes of the realm. But they need more than a fancy robe, magic staff, and book of magical beasts to be real heroes. They need a quest So when The Great and Powerful Kevin puts out a call for help, seeking the coveted Golden Llama and its magical golden fart, young Fart and his friends jump at the chance and embark on a journey they were destined for. This title has Common Core connections.

My name is Rex Dexter. Yes. THAT Rex Dexter. The one cursed with the ability to see and talk to dead animals. The solver of atrocities against the four-footed. The savior of the flipper-finned. Save your standing ovation for later, because I have bigger things on my mind. Rabbits. Specifically, dead rabbits. And not just anybunny. This particular gaggle of rabbits once belonged to the Astounding Isabel, Middling Falls' foremost birthday party magician. One thing has quickly become clear...somebunny hates magic. Whoever it is, they're attempting to put the Astounding Isabel out of the birthday biz for good. And they're willing to whack a whole lotta bunnies to do it. It's a cold cruel world out there. But don't worry. I'm on the case. And so is Darvish. And Drumstick. And possibly several dozen rabbits. The point is, nobunny pulls one over on Rex Dexter...and his best friend...and his dead chicken.Nobunny.

Another fart-tastic installment in the middle-grade adventure series by #1 New York Times bestselling author Aaron Reynolds and illustrator Cam Kendell. The Great and Powerful Kevin has a new quest for our heroes...seek out another disgusting ingredient for his mysterious project. High in the Frostflung Mountains lies the lair of a fearsome dragon named Glacierbane. Pan, Moxie, Fart and TickTock must venture there and fish a dragon-digested object from deep within a pile of dragon doo. But Pan isn't having it. She's not sure why, but she doesn't trust Kevin. But when she learns of a kidnapped prince that needs rescuing from Glacierbane, suddenly this quest seems a whole lot more heroic. Our young heroes will face their toughest challenges yet as they team up with a valiant knight, brave the air-islands of Frostflung, fight yetis and snow goblins, solve puzzles and riddles, face a dragon, and seek the poo they need.

100 SWEARY TEAR-OUT POSTCARDS TO DELIGHT YOUR NEAREST AND DEAREST, FROM THE CREATOR OF EFFIN’ BIRDS Ever since Effin’ Birds first appeared on social media, fans have been clamouring for a way to deliver these lavishly illustrated profane messages in the real world. Today is the day that their prayers and DMs are answered: Greetings from Effin' Birds is a book of 100 tear-out postcards, featuring new birds and new jokes, plus 100 absolutely true* Bird Facts that will help you spot these fine avian creatures in your everyday life. The bewildered gander wants to talk about how fucked everything is... The fretful scaup wants to know how long this bullshit is going to take... The rational sheldrake is losing its fucking mind over here... and 97 more!*All 100 Bird Facts are completely untrue.

Have you ever looked a bird dead in the eye and wondered what it was thinking? With Effin’ Birds, the most eagerly anticipated new volume in the noble avocation of bird identification, you can venture into nature with confidence. This farcical field guide will help you identify over 200 birds, but more importantly, for the first time in history, it will also help you understand what these birds are thinking: The vainglorious grebe is acutely aware of its own magnificence. The hipster pelican thinks the world is a shitbarge.The overbearing heron wishes you better luck next time, fucknuts.The counsellor swallow wants you to maybe try not being a dickhead... and many, many more.Alongside beautiful, scientifically accurate illustrations and a whole lot of swearing is incisive commentary on modern life and the world we, as humans, must navigate. Or maybe it’s just some pictures of effin’ birds, okay?

Rex Dexter is cursed...with brains...and daring...and more than his fair share of devilish good looks. But also with an actual curse: dead animals keep showing up in his bedroom, wanting him to solve their murders.After successfully sleuthing a series of endangered animal assassinations, Rex is pretty sure he's home free, spiritually speaking. But that's when he finds a two thousand pound narwhal in his beanbag chair. And this tough guy is dead. And super crabby about it.Fishy business is at hand. And as if that's not bad enough, Rex's mom has a stressful new job. His new teacher may be part of a Russian hit squad. His best friend Darvish is distracted by a role-playing game. And, horror of horrors, Rex may accidentally have a girlfriend.Rex Dexter is neck-deep in dead pet problems. And he's determined to solve them. Or let his best friend Darvish die trying.

"If you love fantasy, funny humor, flatulence, and friends, then Aaron Reynolds has written the perfect book for you " --DAN SANTAT, author of The Aquanut, Sidekicks, and The Adventures of Beekle Fart and his friends take on a new belly-quaking quest in the hilarious sequel Fart Quest: The Barf of the Bedazzler written by #1 New York Times bestselling author Aaron Reynolds and illustrated by Cam Kendell. After crushing their very first quest, young adventurers Pan, Moxie, and Fart are hungry for their next challenge. Luckily, the Great and Powerful Kevin has cooked up something for the trio: Locate a bedazzler--a rare and monstrous creature of truly horrific power--and bring back . . . its barf. But the danger in tracking down a bedazzler is hard to swallow. Rumor tells of a ruthless pirate captain who may be the only living soul that knows where to find a bedazzler. Our heroes must head to the high seas for a mission so deadly, they might lose their lives--or their lunch. Bestselling author Aaron Reynolds and Cam Kendell bring even more laughs, adventure, and silliness in The Barf of the Bedazzler, book two in the Fart Quest series.

In this wildly charming and fantastically imaginative story by the New York Times bestselling author of Creepy Carrots and Creepy Pair of Underwear, a young animal expert knows just what to do when she spots her teacher in the wild.Miranda is an animal expert. Or at least, she watches a lot of Nature Joe. Nature Joe is incredible. He rescues animals, returning them to their natural habitat. Mrs. Birdley is a teacher. The natural habitat of a teacher is a classroom. So when Mrs. Birdley escapes school and ends up wild, loose, and confused at the local grocery store, Miranda knows just what to do: she must use her brain, her guts, and her extensive knowledge of Nature Joe to rescue Mrs. Birdley—at any cost! This delightfully over-the-top picture book by newcomer Emma Reynolds explores the weirdness of seeing a teacher outside of school and will have young readers laughing out loud every time they read.