Alexei Auld

WARNING: Before you go any further, please finish the first two LUSCIOUS MELCHUS books and TONTO CANTO POCAHONTAS before you proceed with this one. There are spoilers and I don't want to ruin the exciting conclusions of the earlier books for you.Melchus hasn't been able to enjoy life since his god-like powers of lusciousness emerged. He unwittingly ends up in redface as a Hollywood Indian in a movie production so hostile to Native American actors, even Adam Sandler would walk off in protest. Although it's not apropos, how else could Melchus romance a Wendigo from a picture show?Have at thee, mortals. The adventures of LUSCIOUS MELCHUS continue

"Every hour, you get a bag. In the bag, you find a job you gotta do and the tools you need to do it. You don't do the job? You die. You snitch? You die. You get locked up? You die. Capisce?"What did Percy Winkler do to deserve this? He graduated from law school. Percy wants to be a lawyer. He just needs to pass the bar exam. Neither his bullying boss nor his extortionist mama will give him the time and tools he needs to pass. As a result, he fails the exam every time he takes it. Exasperated by Percy's repeated failures, his best friend secretly enlists Percy in a crash study course run by criminals. Percy is kidnapped and partnered with other dimwits who are forced to learn the law by breaking it. Forget about Percy's dream for legal gloriousness. If he fails this time, he will cease to persist. The Chumped Collection includes all three volumes of the Chumped series: The Jerked Law Clerk, Beatings in Progress, and Cease to Persist.

WARNING: Before you go any further, please don't read BEATINGS IN PROGRESS unless you've finished THE JERKED LAW CLERK. There are spoilers and I don't want to ruin the exciting conclusion of the first book for you.Percy Winkler's 24/7 law firm job requires him to pass the bar exam without any time to study. To make time, he accepts his friend's cockamamie scheme: fake an injury which requires a face mask and let a masked body double take his place at work. If he fails to trick boss Dick Bacon, Percy will lose his job and will receive a lifetime ban from practicing law. Unfortunately for Percy, the body double is a bruising goon who seeks and wreaks havoc on his law firm. Mind the carnage, BEATING IN PROGRESS. This is the second part of the CHUMPED trilogy.

WARNING: Before you go any further, please don't read CEASE TO PERSIST unless you've finished THE JERKED LAW CLERK and BEATINGS IN PROGRESS. There are spoilers and I don't want to ruin the exciting conclusions of the previous books for you.Exasperated by Percy Winkler's inability to pass the bar exam, best friend Rufus Wang enlists him in a crash study course run by criminals. Percy is kidnapped and partnered with other dimwits who are forced to learn the law by breaking it. This is Percy's last chance to realize his dream for legal gloriousness. Should he fail this final time, he must CEASE TO PERSIST.This is the third part of the CHUMPED trilogy.