Bryan Ray

The first volume of Bryan Ray's Collected Self-Amusements contains fifteen short books: The Permanent ModesA purposely adolescent depiction of some B-movie creatures undergoing various events.Why I Am Not a SurrealistIf Bertrand Russell were to read this text expecting a coherent lecture, he might be perplexed; then Ren Magritte might try to help him by whispering: This is not an essay.Rumors of SarahAn embellished mistranslation of St. Mark's gospel: it's like 19th-century literary nonsense draped over 1st-century religious scaffolding.La ManA very zany book, consisting of three parts: (1) an imbecilic introduction; (2) a fable so convoluted that it defies elucidation; and (3) an elucidation of that fable.Even Silence NodsA low-budget, mid-length poem or 'B epic', composed in what were supposed to be rhyming couplets, relaying the misadventures of a few stock characters against the backdrop of an icy jungle.The Floaty-thing's Go-to BoyA postmodern children's book for lazy adults.The Stickup ContinuumA brief non-story, like a mosaic made from memories of so-called noir films.ImpatiensRiffs on themes of mortality, authority, etc.The Radiator Girls at Strapontin LodgeA composition with fruit, females, and fruit females.New AmericaAn experiment in repetition and unsettled carriage returns.X Pages of Horn-faceA faithful description of the contents of a wordless picture-book.A Terrible MisunderstandingThe first truly absurd, ecclesiastically themed adaptation of Shakespeare's Comedy of Errors.Gabella StA frivolous text written purely for kicks.The King and Queen Surrounded by Swift NudesAn enigmatic anti-novella that playfully dances with some concepts of Marcel Duchamp.Mediocre MountainA book like any other except less interesting.

The Collected Religious Writings of Bryan Ray is a series of mock-sacred texts: enigmas; mad sermons; abstractions of personal gnosis; ridiculous parables; critical self-interpretations (meant to parody the way that the so-called New Testament writings try to interpret the "true meaning" of the so-called Old Testament writings); and nonsensically bizarre episodes of holy farce.The book is intended humorously to serve as the bible for the author's newfangled (and nonexistent) sect; but it also can be seen as the record of a mental fight: a journey in which the mind attempts to overcome its own inherited religion by way of artistry.William Blake, in his book called The Marriage of Heaven and Hell, explains that religions begin when people choose forms of worship from poetic tales. The Collected Religious Writings of Bryan Ray aims to reverse that bad habit by consciously and playfully participating in the zaniness of religion-making, with the hope of ultimately turning it all back into art. The text reminds the reader that all "holy" books are products of the human imagination, and that they should be viewed as poetic tales rather than as sacred truths. (So the word "Religious" in the collection's title is fairly ironic.)At the very least, this intentionally weird tome is the perfect way to stop the advances of evangelicals, missionaries, or anyone else who would like to convert you to their cult. Now, whenever proselytizers show up at our door soliciting their religion, we can simply impersonate HAL 9000 and say, "Just a moment"; then go fetch a copy of The Collected Religious Writings of Bryan Ray, and tell them: "I will gladly listen to your sales pitch, but only after you finish reading THIS."