Dave Heiser

Welcome again to the weird and wonderful world of MikeSpeak Somewhere in the sleepy capital of the state of New York there is a man whose special talent for accidentally transforming the English language is providing Endless Mindertainment to a small but growing group of family, friends and fans. His talent for verbal twists and flubs seems to spring from a bottomless well that has been documented for over 20 years, creating an amazing collection of language reconstructed, often with hilarious effect. In our first MikeSpeak book, "I'm Porfectly Nermal", we introduced the world to our amazing friend Mike and his verbal (and sometimes physical) mishaps. In volumes 2, 3 and 4 we explored the worlds of entertainment, sports, and food. In our fifth volme, MikeSpeak Vol. 5, That's What Separates Us From The Humans, we examine the natural world, from the human anatomy to the wide world around it, including topics such as: Weather - "A rental Jane" Geography - "Bert's pig" Science - "Lawton's news" Living Things - "He bunny" As well as a large section devoted to the human body, both its abilities and its frailties. Whatever you're curious about, rest assured that Mike has already wondered about it himself, and spoken about it to the amusement of all.

Welcome again to the weird and wonderful world of MikeSpeak Somewhere in the sleepy capital of the state of New York there is a man whose special talent for accidentally transforming the English language is providing Endless Mindertainment to a small but growing group of family, friends and fans. His talent for verbal twists and flubs seems to spring from a bottomless well that has been documented for over 20 years, creating an amazing collection of language reconstructed, often with hilarious effect. In our first MikeSpeak book, "I'm Porfectly Nermal", we introduced the world to our amazing friend Mike and his verbal (and sometimes physical) mishaps. In volumes 2 and 3 we explored the worlds of entertainment and sports. In this fourth volume, MikeSpeak Vol. 4, I Feed Nude, we eavesdrop on Mike's tongue-twistings of the culinary kind concerning: Breakfast - "Baiting eagles" Lunch - "I'm getting butt launch" Dinner - "Dicker with the phones" Snacks - "I'm surrounded by a lack of snots" And, of course, the beverages with which to wash it all down. Whether ordering food ("Does that pan with come cakes?") or inviting you to dinner ("Wanna meet my triballs?"), Mike will feed you something funny.

Welcome again to the weird and wonderful world of MikeSpeak Somewhere in the sleepy capital of the state of New York there is a man whose special talent for accidentally transforming the English language is providing Endless Mindertainment to a small but growing group of family, friends and fans. His talent for verbal twists and flubs seems to spring from a bottomless well that has been documented for over 20 years, creating an amazing collection of language reconstructed, often with hilarious effect. In our first MikeSpeak book, "I'm Porfectly Nermal", we introduced the world to our amazing friend Mike and his verbal (and sometimes physical) mishaps. In volume 2 we explored the world of entertainment. In this third volume, MikeSpeak Vol. 3, The Thrill Of Agony And The Victory Of Defeat, we turn our attention to the world of sports and look at some of the funny things Mike has said regarding: Baseball - "A lard-throwing hefty" Football - "A late hound out of bits" Other Sports - "He just dissed a monk" Card games - "Your sucker face poses" and other pastimes. You can read about famous players, like "Busty Poser" or "Flug Duty", or root for your favorite teams, like the "Boston Sod Wrecks" or the "Minnevita Soakings". Whatever your favorite sport or game may be, from baseball to bowling, from poker to billiards, chances are that Mike has had something to say about it.

Welcome again to the weird and wonderful world of MikeSpeak Somewhere in the sleepy capital of the state of New York there is a man whose special talent for accidentally transforming the English language is providing Endless Mindertainment to a small but growing group of family, friends and fans. His talent for verbal twists and flubs seems to spring from a bottomless well that has been documented for over 20 years, creating an amazing collection of language reconstructed, often with hilarious effect. In our first MikeSpeak book, "I'm Porfectly Nermal", we introduced the world to our amazing friend Mike and his verbal (and sometimes physical) mishaps. The second book in our series, Mikespeak Vol. 2, Traced On A Boo Story, covers the world of entertainment and looks at some of the funny things Michael has said regarding: Movies - "That's a groovy mate" Music - "Do you think Doris liked the elves?" Television - "Oscar's odd wife on the ex-couple" Famous Names - "Fun Dayaway" And other subjects. You could read about the movies "play nice from outer man" or "meaty with a chance of cloud balls". Maybe you'll hear him sing a famous hit like "Hogs let the dew out?". No matter what your entertainment interests are, there are plenty of hilarious references to them inside. From movie titles (many of them originally spoken to baffled box-office cashiers) to song lyrics (sung by Mike with gusto) to literary classics, Mike has spoken, and misspoken, about them all.

Welcome to the weird and wonderful world of MikeSpeak Somewhere in the sleepy capital of the state of New York there is a man whose special talent for accidentally transforming the English language is providing Endless Mindertainment to a small but growing group of family, friends and fans. His talent for verbal twists and flubs seems to spring from a bottomless well that has been documented for over 20 years, creating an amazing collection of language reconstructed, often with hilarious effect. If you like to laugh, and are looking for something unusual, then we invite you to enter the world of MikeSpeak MikeSpeak Vol. 1, "I'm Porfectly Nermal" demonstrates how our friend Mike may be the world's most prolific producer of spoonerisms - the twisting of syllables in a sentence to form other words, usually with interesting and unexpected results. Additionally Mike is prone to other types of verbal malapropisms, as well as conceptual confusions and slapstick misadventures, many of which are documented here and in subsequent MikeSpeak volumes. We invite you to play along and try to decipher just exactly what Mike was trying to say. In a conversation with Mike you could be called "Mr. Panty Smarts". Or you may be asked to "eat that clown". Or perhaps maybe you'd like to "mash some cake". From "witnessing the badger" to the "goons swirling over him", you can count on Michael having said something about it And if, try as you might, you still can't figure out what Mike was trying to say, all the answers are provided in the back of the book, with additional notations and commentary. It really is Endless Mindertainment

Part sequel/companion piece to "Gena's Wedding", part science fiction novel, part rumination on the nature of reality, "Sand" tells the continuing stories of Damon and Gena, set against an unsettling backdrop: the sun has suddenly grown bigger, redder, hotter, Earth is drying up, civilization is beginning to crumble. But there are life forces at work capable of changing that reality....