Deborah Tannen

Lead with charisma and confidence.Many leaders consider "executive presence" a make-or-break factor in high-powered promotions. But what is this elusive quality, and how do you develop it?This book explains how to build the charisma, confidence, and decisiveness that top leaders project. Whether you're delivering a critical presentation or managing a hectic meeting, you'll be inspired to approach the situation with new strength.This volume includes the work of:Deborah TannenAmy J. C. CuddyAmy Jen SuThis collection of articles includes "Deconstructing Executive Presence," by John Beeson; "How New Managers Can Send the Right Leadership Signals," by Amy Jen Su; "To Sound Like a Leader, Think About What You Say, and How and When You Say It," by Rebecca Shambaugh; "Connect, Then Lead," by Amy J. C. Cuddy, Matthew Kohut, and John Neffinger; "The Power of Talk: Who Gets Heard and Why," by Deborah Tannen; and "Too Much Charisma Can Make Leaders Look Less Effective," by Jasmine Vergauwe, Bart Wille, Joeri Hofmans, Robert B. Kaiser, and Filip De Fruyt.HOW TO BE HUMAN AT WORK.The HBR Emotional Intelligence Series features smart, essential reading on the human side of professional life from the pages of Harvard Business Review. Each book in the series offers proven research showing how our emotions impact our work lives, practical advice for managing difficult people and situations, and inspiring essays on what it means to tend to our emotional well-being at work. Uplifting and practical, these books describe the social skills that are critical for ambitious professionals to master.

Lead with charisma and confidence.Many leaders consider "executive presence" a make-or-break factor in high-powered promotions. But what is this elusive quality, and how do you develop it?This book explains how to build the charisma, confidence, and decisiveness that top leaders project. Whether you're delivering a critical presentation or managing a hectic meeting, you'll be inspired to approach the situation with new strength.This volume includes the work of:Deborah TannenAmy J. C. CuddyAmy Jen SuThis collection of articles includes "Deconstructing Executive Presence," by John Beeson; "How New Managers Can Send the Right Leadership Signals," by Amy Jen Su; "To Sound Like a Leader, Think About What You Say, and How and When You Say It," by Rebecca Shambaugh; "Connect, Then Lead," by Amy J. C. Cuddy, Matthew Kohut, and John Neffinger; "The Power of Talk: Who Gets Heard and Why," by Deborah Tannen; and "Too Much Charisma Can Make Leaders Look Less Effective," by Jasmine Vergauwe, Bart Wille, Joeri Hofmans, Robert B. Kaiser, and Filip De Fruyt.HOW TO BE HUMAN AT WORK.The HBR Emotional Intelligence Series features smart, essential reading on the human side of professional life from the pages of Harvard Business Review. Each book in the series offers proven research showing how our emotions impact our work lives, practical advice for managing difficult people and situations, and inspiring essays on what it means to tend to our emotional well-being at work. Uplifting and practical, these books describe the social skills that are critical for ambitious professionals to master.

NEW from the bestselling HBR's 10 Must Reads series. The best leaders know how to communicate clearly and persuasively. How do you stack up? If you read nothing else on communicating effectively, read these 10 articles. We've combed through hundreds of articles in the Harvard Business Review archive and selected the most important ones to help you express your ideas with clarity and impact--no matter what the situation. Leading experts such as Deborah Tannen, Jay Conger, and Nick Morgan provide the insights and advice you need to: * Pitch your brilliant idea--successfully * Connect with your audience * Establish credibility * Inspire others to carry out your vision * Adapt to stakeholders' decision-making styles * Frame goals around common interests * Build consensus and win support Looking for more Must Read articles from Harvard Business Review? Check out these titles in the popular series: HBR's 10 Must Reads: The Essentials HBR's 10 Must Reads on Collaboration HBR's 10 Must Reads on Innovation HBR's 10 Must Reads on Leadership HBR's 10 Must Reads on Making Smart Decisions HBR's 10 Must Reads on Managing Yourself HBR's 10 Must Reads on Strategic Marketing HBR's 10 Must Reads on Teams

The best leaders know how to communicate clearly and persuasively. How do you stack up?If you read nothing else on communicating effectively, read these 10 articles. We’ve combed through hundreds of articles in the Harvard Business Review archive and selected the most important ones to help you express your ideas with clarity and impact—no matter what the situation. Leading experts such as Deborah Tannen, Jay Conger, and Nick Morgan provide the insights and advice you need to: Pitch your brilliant idea—successfullyConnect with your audienceEstablish credibilityInspire others to carry out your visionAdapt to stakeholders’ decision-making styleFrame goals around common interestsBuild consensus and win support

A #1 New York Times bestselling author traces her father's life from turn-of-the-century Warsaw to New York City in an intimate memoir about family, memory, and the stories we tell. "An accomplished, clear-eyed, and affecting memoir about a man who is at once ordinary and extraordinary."--Forward Long before she was the acclaimed author of a groundbreaking book about women and men, praised by Oliver Sacks for having "a novelist's ear for the way people speak," Deborah Tannen was a girl who adored her father. Though he was often absent during her childhood, she was profoundly influenced by his gift for writing and storytelling. As she grew up and he grew older, she spent countless hours recording conversations with her father for the account of his life she had promised him she'd write. But when he hands Tannen journals he kept in his youth, and she discovers letters he saved from a woman he might have married instead of her mother, she is forced to rethink her assumptions about her father's life and her parents' marriage. In this memoir, Tannen embarks on the poignant, yet perilous, quest to piece together the puzzle of her father's life. Beginning with his astonishingly vivid memories of the Hasidic community in Warsaw, where he was born in 1908, she traces his journey: from arriving in New York City in 1920 to quitting high school at fourteen to support his mother and sister, through a vast array of jobs, including prison guard and gun-toting alcohol tax inspector, to eventually establishing the largest workers' compensation law practice in New York and running for Congress. As Tannen comes to better understand her father's--and her own--relationship to Judaism, she uncovers aspects of his life she would never have imagined. Finding My Father is a memoir of Eli Tannen's life and the ways in which it reflects the near century that he lived. Even more than that, it's an unflinching account of a daughter's struggle to see her father clearly, to know him more deeply, and to find a more truthful story about her family and herself.

A Washington Post Notable Book of 2017.Deborah Tannen's bestselling You Just Don't Understand: Conversations Between Women and Men made us aware of the deep and subtle meanings behind the words we say. She has since explored the way we talk at work, in arguments, to our mothers and our daughters.Now she turns to that most intense, precious and potential minefield: women's friendships.Best friend, old friend, good friend, new friend, neighbour, fellow mother at the school gate, workplace confidante: women's friendships are crucial. A friend can be like a sister, daughter, mother, mentor, therapist or confessor. She can also be the source of pain and betrayal.From casual chatting to intimate confiding, from talking about problems to sharing funny stories, there are patterns of communication and miscommunication that affect friendships. Tannen shows how even the best of friends - with the best intentions - can say the wrong thing, how the ways women friends talk can bring friends closer or pull them apart, but also how words can repair the damage done by words. She explains the power of women friends who show empathy and can just listen; how women use talk to connect - and to subtly compete; how fears of rejection can haunt friendships; how social media is reshaping relationships.Exploring what it means to be friends, helping us hear what we are really saying, understanding how we connect to other people; this illuminating and validating book gets inside the language of one of most women's life essentials - female friendships.

What will it take to create a more gender-balanced workplace?If you read nothing else on leadership and gender at work, read these 10 articles by experts in the field. We've combed through hundreds of articles in the Harvard Business Review archive and selected the most important ones to help you understand where gender equality is today--and how far we still have to go.This book will inspire you to:Better understand the path women must take to leadershipLearn the root causes of the barriers that exist for women in the workplaceCheck your own gender biases and distinguish between confidence and competence in your colleaguesManage a more effective gender-diversity programRecognize the issues women face when speaking up about bias or harassmentHelp women reenter the workforce after taking time off--and create opportunities for them to reach their ambitions.This collection of articles includes "Women and the Labyrinth of Leadership," by Alice H. Eagly and Linda L. Carli; "Do Women Lack Ambition?" by Anna Fels; "Women Rising: The Unseen Barriers," by Herminia Ibarra, Robin Ely, and Deborah Kolb; "Women and the Vision Thing," by Herminia Ibarra and Otilia Obodaru; "The Power of Talk: Who Gets Heard and Why," by Deborah Tannen; "The Memo Every Woman Keeps in Her Desk," by Kathleen Reardon; "Why Diversity Programs Fail," by Frank Dobbin and Alexandra Kalev; "Now What?" by Joan C. Williams and Suzanne Lebsock; "The Battle for Female Talent in Emerging Markets," by Sylvia Ann Hewlett and Ripa Rashid; "Off-Ramps and On-Ramps: Keeping Talented Women on the Road to Success," by Sylvia Ann Hewlett and Carolyn Buck Luce; and "Sheryl Sandberg: The HBR Interview," by Sheryl Sandberg and Adi Ignatius.

What will it take to create a more gender-balanced workplace?If you read nothing else on leadership and gender at work, read these 10 articles by experts in the field. We've combed through hundreds of articles in the Harvard Business Review archive and selected the most important ones to help you understand where gender equality is today--and how far we still have to go.This book will inspire you to:Better understand the path women must take to leadershipLearn the root causes of the barriers that exist for women in the workplaceCheck your own gender biases and distinguish between confidence and competence in your colleaguesManage a more effective gender-diversity programRecognize the issues women face when speaking up about bias or harassmentHelp women reenter the workforce after taking time off--and create opportunities for them to reach their ambitions.This collection of articles includes "Women and the Labyrinth of Leadership," by Alice H. Eagly and Linda L. Carli; "Do Women Lack Ambition?" by Anna Fels; "Women Rising: The Unseen Barriers," by Herminia Ibarra, Robin Ely, and Deborah Kolb; "Women and the Vision Thing," by Herminia Ibarra and Otilia Obodaru; "The Power of Talk: Who Gets Heard and Why," by Deborah Tannen; "The Memo Every Woman Keeps in Her Desk," by Kathleen Reardon; "Why Diversity Programs Fail," by Frank Dobbin and Alexandra Kalev; "Now What?" by Joan C. Williams and Suzanne Lebsock; "The Battle for Female Talent in Emerging Markets," by Sylvia Ann Hewlett and Ripa Rashid; "Off-Ramps and On-Ramps: Keeping Talented Women on the Road to Success," by Sylvia Ann Hewlett and Carolyn Buck Luce; and "Sheryl Sandberg: The HBR Interview," by Sheryl Sandberg and Adi Ignatius.

This warm, wise exploration of female friendship from the #1 New York Times bestselling author of You Just Don't Understand will help women lean into these powerful relationships. A WASHINGTON POST NOTABLE BOOK - "Celebrates friendship in its frustrations and its rewards and, above all, its wonderful complexity."--The Atlantic Best friend, old friend, good friend, bff, college roommate, neighbor, workplace confidante: Women's friendships are a lifeline in times of trouble and a support system for daily life. A friend can be like a sister, daughter, mother, mentor, therapist, or confessor--or she can be all of these at once. She's seen you at your worst and celebrates you at your best. Figuring out what it means to be friends is, in the end, no less than figuring out how we connect to other people. In this illuminating and validating new book, #1 New York Times bestselling author Deborah Tannen deconstructs the ways women friends talk and how those ways can bring friends closer or pull them apart. From casual chatting to intimate confiding, from talking about problems to telling what you had for dinner, Tannen uncovers the patterns of communication and miscommunication that affect friendships at different points in our lives. She shows how even the best of friends--with the best intentions--can say the wrong thing, and how words can repair the damage done by words. Through Tannen's signature insight, humor, and ability to present pitch-perfect real-life dialogue, readers will see themselves and their friendships on every page. The book explains - the power of women friends who show empathy, give advice--or just listen - how women use talk to connect to friends--and to subtly compete - how "Fear of Being Left Out" and "Fear of Getting Kicked Out" can haunt women's friendships - how social media is reshaping communication and relationships Drawing on interviews with eighty women of diverse backgrounds, ranging in age from nine to ninety-seven, You're the Only One I Can Tell gets to the heart of women's friendships--how they work or fail, how they help or hurt, and how we can make them better. "At a time when the messages we give and get have so many more ways to be misconstrued and potentially damaging, a book that takes apart our language becomes almost vital to our survival as friends."--The Washington Post

The second edition of the highly successful Handbook of Discourse Analysis has been expanded and thoroughly updated to reflect the very latest research to have developed since the original publication, including new theoretical paradigms and discourse-analytic models, in an authoritative two-volume set. Twenty new chapters highlight emerging trends and the latest areas of researchContributions reflect the range, depth, and richness of current research in the fieldChapters are written by internationally-recognized leaders in their respective fields, constituting a Who’s Who of Discourse AnalysisA vital resource for scholars and students in discourse studies as well as for researchers in related fields who seek authoritative overviews of discourse analytic issues, theories, and methods

The second edition of the highly successful Handbook of Discourse Analysis has been expanded and thoroughly updated to reflect the very latest research to have developed since the original publication, including new theoretical paradigms and discourse-analytic models, in an authoritative two-volume set. Twenty new chapters highlight emerging trends and the latest areas of researchContributions reflect the range, depth, and richness of current research in the fieldChapters are written by internationally-recognized leaders in their respective fields, constituting a Who’s Who of Discourse AnalysisA vital resource for scholars and students in discourse studies as well as for researchers in related fields who seek authoritative overviews of discourse analytic issues, theories, and methods

"Tannen combines a novelist's ear for the way people speak with a rare power of original analysis....Fascinating."--Oliver Sacks, author of The Man Who Mistook His Wife for a Hat and The Mind's EyeIn That's Not What I Meant , Deborah Tannen, renowned communication expert and author of the New York Times bestsellers You're Wearing THAT? and You Just Don't Understand, explores how conversational styles can make or break interpersonal relationships at home, at work, or at play. Fans of her books and the healthily curious reader interested in popular psychology, feminism, linguistics, or social sciences will be fascinated by Tannen's remarkable insights into unintentional conversational confusion. That's Not What I Meant is an essential guide to recognizing and adjusting what we say and how we are saying it in order to strengthen or save a relationship.

Boken till alla systrar Systrar är bra på att leva ut sina känslor mot varandra. Rivaliteten och avundsjukan kan vara stark i barndomen och ungdomen. Men de flesta systrar utvecklar också en stark lojalitet genom livet. En själarnas gemenskap. Och de älskar att prata med varandra och om sin syskonrelation. Deborah Tannen skriver lätt och medryckande om vardagliga ämnen. Om språk och kommunikation. Om hur vi förstår och hur vi så lätt missförstår varandra. Precis som hennes tidigare böcker bygger Du var alltid mammas favorit! på hundratals intervjuer. Materialet är tematiskt grupperat i åtta kapitel. Några rubriker: Likheter och olikheter Rivalitet och avund På vems sida står du? Lillasystern Storasystern SysterskapFörfattaren Deborah Tannen är språkforskare. Hon är professor i lingvistik vid Georgetown University i Washington. Fyra tidigare böcker på svenska: Prat mellan 9 och 5, Det var inte så jag menade, Du begriper ju ingenting och Den DÄR kan du väl inte ha? (Optimal, 2007).

Written in readable, vivid, non-technical prose, this book, first published in 2007, presents the highly respected scholarly research that forms the foundation for Deborah Tannen's best-selling books about the role of language in human relationships. It provides a clear framework for understanding how ordinary conversation works to create meaning and establish relationships. A significant theoretical and methodological contribution to both linguistic and literary analysis, it uses transcripts of tape-recorded conversation to demonstrate that everyday conversation is made of features that are associated with literary discourse: repetition, dialogue, and details that create imagery. This second edition features a new introduction in which the author shows the relationship between this groundbreaking work and the research that has appeared since its original publication in 1989. In particular, she shows its relevance to the contemporary topic 'intertextuality', and provides a useful summary of research on that topic.

Through everyday talk, individuals forge the ties that can make a family. Family members use language to manage a household, create and maintain relationships, and negotiate and reinforce values and beliefs. The studies gathered in Family Talk are based on a unique research project in which four dual-income American families recorded everything they said for a week. Family Talk extends our understanding of family discourse and of how family members construct, negotiate, and enact their identities as individuals and as families. The volume also contributes to the discourse analysis of naturally-occurring interaction and makes significant contributions to theories of framing in interaction. Family Talk addresses issues central to the academic discipline of discourse analysis as well as to families themselves, including decision-making and conflict-talk, the development of gendered family roles, sociability with and socialization of children, the development of social and political beliefs, and the interconnectedness of professional and family life. It provides illuminating insights into the subtleties of family conversation, and will be of interest to scholars and students in sociolinguistics, discourse studies, communications, anthropological linguistics, cultural studies, psychology, and other fields concerned with the language of everyday interaction or family interaction.

From the author of New York Times bestseller You're Wearing That? this bestselling classic work draws upon groundbreaking research by an acclaimed sociolinguist to show that women and men live in different worlds, made of different words.Women and men live in different worlds...made of different words.Spending nearly four years on the New York Times bestseller list, including eight months at number one, You Just Don't Understand is a true cultural and intellectual phenomenon. This is the book that brought gender differences in ways of speaking to the forefront of public awareness. With a rare combination of scientific insight and delightful, humorous writing, Tannen shows why women and men can walk away from the same conversation with completely different impressions of what was said.Studded with lively and entertaining examples of real conversations, this book gives you the tools to understand what went wrong -- and to find a common language in which to strengthen relationships at work and at home. A classic in the field of interpersonal relations, this book will change forever the way you approach conversations.

Deborah Tannen's No. 1 New York Times bestseller You Just Don't Understand revolutionized communication between women and men. Mothers and daughters often misunderstand each other as they struggle to find the right balance between closeness and independence. They both want to be seen for who they really are, but tend to see the other as failing short of who she should be. Each overestimates the other's power and underestimates her own. Deborah Tannen examines every aspect of this complex dynamic, from the dark side that can shadow a woman throughout her life, to the new technologies like e-mail and Instant Messaging that are transforming mother-daughter communication.With groundbreaking insights, pitch-perfect dialogues, and deeply moving memories of her own mother, Tannen untangles the knots daughters and mothers can get tied up in. Eye-opening and heart-felt, You're Wearing THAT? illuminates and enriches one of the most important relationships in our lives.

This revised edition of Deborah Tannen's first discourse analysis book, Conversational Style-first published in 1984-presents an approach to analyzing conversation that later became the hallmark and foundation of her extensive body of work in discourse analysis, including the monograph Talking Voices, as well as her well-known popular books You Just Don't Understand, That's Not What I Meant!, and Talking from 9 to 5, among others. Carefully examining the discourse of six speakers over the course of a two-and-a-half hour Thanksgiving dinner conversation, Tannen analyzes the features that make up the speakers' conversational styles, and in particular how aspects of what she calls a 'high-involvement style' have a positive effect when used with others who share the style, but a negative effect with those whose styles differ. This revised edition includes a new preface and an afterword in which Tannen discusses the book's place in the evolution of her work. Conversational Style is written in an accessible and non-technical style that should appeal to scholars and students of discourse analysis (in fields like linguistics, anthropology, communication, sociology, and psychology) as well as general readers fascinated by Tannen's popular work. This book is an ideal text for use in introductory classes in linguistics and discourse analysis.

Why does talk in families so often go in circles, leaving us tied up in knots? In this illuminating book, Deborah Tannen, the linguist and and bestselling author of You Just Don't Understand and many other books, reveals why talking to family members is so often painful and problematic even when we're all adults. Searching for signs of acceptance and belonging, we find signs of disapproval and rejection. Why do the seeds of family love so often yield a harvest of criticism and judgment? In I Only Say This Because I Love You, Tannen shows how important it is, in family talk, to learn to separate word meanings, or messages, from heart meanings, or metamessages --unstated but powerful meanings that come from the history of our relationships and the way things are said. Presenting real conversations from people's lives, Tannen reveals what is actually going on in family talk, including how family conversations must balance the longing for connection with the desire for control, as we struggle to be close without giving up our freedom. This eye-opening book explains why grown women so often feel criticized by their mothers; and why mothers feel they can't open their mouths around their grown daughters; why growing up male or female, or as an older or younger sibling, results in different experiences of family that persist throughout our lives; and much, much more. By helping us to understand and redefine family talk, Tannen provides the tools to improve relationships with family members of every age.

Japan and the United States are in closer contact politically and economically than ever before, yet in many ways our nations are as far from mutual understanding as ever. Misconceptions and miscommunications between East and West continue to plague this important relationship, frustrating the best efforts of both cultures to work together. Stereotypes abound: Americans see Japanese as evasive and inscrutable, while Japanese see Americans as pushy and selfish. What causes these persistent misunderstandings, and what can be done to avoid them? Fluent in both languages and at home in both cultures, Haru Yamada brings an insiders perspective and a linguists training to this difficult question, illuminating the many reasons why Americans and Japanese misunderstand one another. Social organization, she explains, shapes the way we talk. Because American and Japanese cultures value different kinds of social relationships, they play different language games with different sets of rules. In America, for instance, Aesop's fable about the grasshopper and the ants ends with the ants scorning the foolhardy grasshopper. In Japan, however, the story has a very different ending: the ants invite the grasshopper in to share their winter meal, as they appreciate how his singing spurred them on during their summer labors. In the difference between these two endings, argues Yamada, lies an important lesson: Americans, because of their unique political history, value independence and individuality, while Japanese value mutual dependency and interconnectedness. The language of both cultures is designed to display and reinforce these values so that words, phrases and expressions in one language can have completely different connotations in another, leading to all manner of misunderstanding. Yamada provides numerous examples. In Japan, for instance, silence is valued and halting speech is considered more honest and thoughtful than fluid speech, while in America forthright, polished speech is valued. Likewise, the Japanese use word order to express emphasis, while Americans use vocal stress: a listener unaware of this difference may easily misunderstand the import of a sentence. In a lucid and insightful discussion, Yamada outlines the basic differences between Japanese and American English and analyzes a number of real-life business and social interactions in which these differences led to miscommunication. By understanding how and why each culture speaks in the way that it does, Yamada shows, we can learn to avoid frustrating and damaging failures of communication. Different Games, Different Rules is essential reading for anyone who travels to or communicates regularly with Japan, whether they are scientists, scholars, tourists, or business executives. But as Deborah Tannen notes in her Foreword to the book, even those who will never travel to Japan, do business with a Japanese company, or talk to a person from that part of the world, will find the insights of this book illuminating and helpful, because the greatest benefit that comes of understanding another culture is a better and deeper understanding of one's own.