Heide Goody

The earth has been invaded by unfathomable terrors from another dimension and international governments are doing their best to pretend nothing is happening. But you can't keep an alien invasion hidden forever. A Hollywood production company is filming in the city: a spy thriller blockbuster that will introduce the Venislarn monsters to the viewing public. It's a dream come true for the marketing team.Rod Campbell - former SAS soldier and now the first line of defence against the Venislarn horde - is less than keen. He's meant to be on the movie set as an advisor but he's already got his hands full.Gods are demanding human sacrifices, renegade Venislarn are seeking asylum on earth and there's a magical teapot that says the city is facing imminent destruction. It's going to be a tough week and Rod might not live to see the end of it.

A city under siege by a barbarian horde...A band of ruthless mercenaries...A trap-filled dungeon...A situation like this calls for the best wizard in town. What they've got is the ONLY wizard in town: Newport Pagnell, oral hygiene specialist.More used to soothing fevered gums and extracting rotten teeth, this dental spellcaster has to perform an operation like never before: extracting a fabled treasure from the jaws of certain doom. This time, he might have bitten off more than he can chew...

All Nick wants to do is take his dying father for a perfect father-son weekend in the Scottish Highlands. It's not much to ask, is it? A log cabin, a roaring fire, a bottle of fine whisky and two days to paper over the cracks in their relationship.However, Nick didn't plan on making the trip with a dead neighbour in the back of his car. Or the neighbour's dog. He really didn't plan on being pursued by a psychotic female assassin intent on collecting body parts. And he really, really didn't plan on encountering a platoon of heavily armed mercenaries, or some very hungry boars, or a werewolf.A Heart in the Right Place - a horror comedy about setting out with the very best intentions and then messing everything up.

Stephen and his friends spent their teenage years immersed in the fantasy gaming worlds of wizards and warriors, undertaking quests to fight evil occultists, vanquish terrible monsters and rescue damsels in distress.Now, twenty-something years later, there is a real-life quest. Life as a monk has hardly prepared Brother Stephen for the mission ahead. Demon Rutspud is definitely not a damsel, but he is in distress. The evil occultists are real and if Stephen doesn't rescue Rutspud from a fate worse than death, no one will...Sword-wielding Satanists, stir crazy demons, super-smart squirrels, magical garbage and a suitcase that cannot be stopped run riot in a story about the bonds of friendship and dark deeds in suburban cellars.

Lori Belkin has been dumped. By her parents. They moved out while she was away on holiday, and now, at the tender age of twenty-five, she's been cruelly forced to stand on her own two feet. While she's getting to grips with basic adulting, Lori magically brings to life the super-sexy man she created from celebrity photos as a teenager. Lori learns very quickly that having your ideal man is not as satisfying as it ought to be and that being an adult is far harder than it looks. Snowflake is a story about prehistoric pets, delinquent donkeys and becoming the person you want to be, not the person everyone else expects you to be.

When Jeremy Clovenhoof decides to set himself up as President for Life of his own breakaway country, he knows he'll need money, lots and lots of money. That might be a bit difficult, particularly since the Inland Revenue have just presented him with an enormous tax bill and Heaven and Hell have sent Joan of Arc and Rutspud of the Sixth Circle to bring him under control. But nothing can keep this devil down. He's got the business acumen and the spunk to make a fortune and found the independent nation state of Hooflandia. Come see the really big wall Enjoy the nudist beach Visit the combined log flume and waterboarding torture centre The seventh book in the Clovenhoof series, Hooflandia, is a ridiculous romp, featuring ventriloquist dummies, cut-price funerals, sexy archbishops, robot cars, musical butt plugs, tax avoidance and a million angry nuns.

Ella Hannaford has a small business to run, an overworked father to look after and a future stepmother who wants a perfect wedding. Can she avoid a girly night out with her clueless stepsister? Can she side-step lovesick suitors at every turn? Not if it's up to that team of foul-mouthed dwarfs who want to forcibly drag her into her happily ever after. You'll love watching gun-toting grannies, stubborn fairy godmothers, and flying carpets come crashing into Ella's world when she refuses to accept her Happy Ending.

Halloween 2016.It is eight days until the American people vote for the 45th President of the United States and millions are struck with horror at the prospect of Donald J Trump - businessman, reality TV star and professional wrestler - getting his hands on the oval office.However, few of those people know that Nostradamus had foreseen both Trump's presidency and the British exit from the EU spelling the end of the world as we know it.Jeremy Clovenhoof and Michael Michaels - the earthly incarnations of Satan and the Archangel Michael - have read the prophecies and must do their utmost to stop them coming true (because Clovenhoof can't let the world end until he's seen the latest series of Game of Thrones).As Michael heads to Europe to undo Brexit through the power of song, Clovenhoof flies to the US to stop Trump becoming president by whatever means are necessary.If you want a searing indictment of global politics and intelligent analysis of the greatest historical events of our time, go somewhere else. But if you want rampaging elephants, naked continental types, drone-mounted chickens, accidental neo-Nazis, LSD-spiked brownies, the Large Hadron Collider and the vengeful spirit of the Statue of Liberty then this slice of hellish fun might be just what you need.

Charged with gross incompetence, Satan is fired from his job as Prince of Hell and exiled to that most terrible of places: English suburbia. Forced to live as a human under the name of Jeremy Clovenhoof, the dark lord not only has to contend with the fact that no one recognises him or gives him the credit he deserves but also has to put up with the bookish wargamer next door and the voracious man-eater upstairs.Heaven, Hell and the city of Birmingham collide in a story that features murder, heavy metal, cannibalism, armed robbers, devious old ladies, Satanists who live with their mums, gentlemen of limited stature, dead vicars, petty archangels, flamethrowers, sex dolls, a blood-soaked school assembly and way too much alcohol.Clovenhoof is outrageous and irreverent (and laugh out loud funny ) but it is also filled with huge warmth and humanity. Written by first-time collaborators Heide Goody and Iain Grant, Clovenhoof will have you rooting for the bad guy like never before.

The Team: Joan of Arc, the armour-plated teen saint of Orleans. Francis of Assisi, friend to all the animals whether they like it or not. St Christopher, the patron saint of travel who by papal decree has never existed - no matter how much he argues otherwise. The Mission: An impossible prayer has been received by Heaven and it's a prayer that only Mary, Mother of God, can answer. Unfortunately, Mary hasn't been seen in decades and is off wandering the Earth somewhere. This elite team of Heavenly saints are sent down to Earth to find Mary before Armageddon is unleashed on an unsuspecting world. Godsquad: A breathless comedy road trip from Heaven to France and all points in-between featuring murderous butchers, a coachload of Welsh women, flying portaloos, nuclear missiles, giant rubber dragons, an army of dogs, a very rude balloon and way too much French wine.