Lotus Rose

The dark and twisted, yet wickedly funny account of what really went on. Because the truth is...Dorothy (of Oz) and Alice (of Wonderland) used to be lovers. Alice had thought their dysfunctional relationship was over, but sometimes the past has a way of coming back to haunt you.In this case, that way is a tornado Dorothy summons to snatch Alice from the Outside World and bring her back to Munchkinland. Alice has absolutely no intention of getting back together. You see, Dorothy has changed...into a pervert, a sadistic chief of the munchkin tribes, and an all around unreasonable beast She has the audacity to ask Alice to rule by her side, keeps talking about magical sexual powers that Alice possesses...Alice wants no part of it, demands to be sent back home, and that's when the completely unreasonable Dorothy throws Alice into some sort of twisted game that's designed to end in a duel to the death with the Scarecrow You wouldn't think that would be the way Dorothy would want to woo Alice, but it is. Dorothy feels that as she and Alice go through the challenges of the game together, they'll somehow end up bonding. Alice doesn't want to be hurt by Dorothy again and really wants nothing more to do with her. But despite all her protestations, psycho Dorothy manipulates the situation so Alice has no choice but to go along with the game. Alice wonders what she ever saw in her. She hopes she won't end up having to kill her former crush.

Note--this is not a box set. This is a single 732 page book.All three books of the Jabberwocky Trilogy in one value priced package The decapitated Jabberwock's head is still functional-he just needs a new body.15-year-old Queen Malice wants to help her buddy, Jabby, as she likes to call him. And so she plans a quest to Jabberwock Valley, where most of the other jabberwocks live.But Jabby isn't the only one they must help. Wonderland itself is in danger, because a creature known as the Snark threatens to reunite the monster tribes and revive a realm known as Woeland.So Malice works on assembling a team. Of course, the Mad Hatter, Humpty, and the Cheshire Cat will tag along. But the Knight still has a crippling fear of little girls.There are other complications.11-year-old Sleeping Beauty wants to go on the quest as well. But most jabberwocks hate little girls. Jabberwock mothers even sing their babies "little-girls-goodbyes," which are like lullabies, except gorier.Malice also struggles with the intoxicating effects of the black rose. She finds herself taking more of the flower each day, and it's becoming harder to stop.Will they be able to thwart the Snark? And who is the mysterious "secret admirer" who sends Malice creepy notes via pigeon? And can she prove to the Knight that she no longer has any "little girlness" inside of her, by going through a series of the Knight's anti-little-girl challenges? Because it's the only way he'll join the team.And they'll need a lot of help if they ever hope to stop the Snark and survive their journey to Jabberwock Valley.

Note-- This is not a box set. This is a single 467 page book. The Brothers Grimm are trying to unleash twisted fairy tale beings into Wonderland. 15-year-old Queen Malice doesn't want to deal with them. She vows to vanquish them in a whirlwind of fury and vitriol Ahem. Anyway, then Malice's dear friend, the Mad Hatter, is kidnapped. So to save him, Malice is forced to work with Cinderella, and ends up getting sucked into Fairy Tale Land. But she also has to deal with troublesome romantic feelings, and a malfunctioning heart that leads to murderous rage. She'll try not to kill too many creatures and people, though.Not-quite-right versions of Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty and even the Three Little Pigs make their appearances. And of course, her friends the Mad Hatter, Humpty Dumpty and even the Cheshire Cat are along for the adventure.If things keep going this way, the fairy tales might eventually cross over into the outside world, where her twin, Alice, lives.Malice struggles to do the right thing, but her heart keeps malfunctioning, sending her into fits of maliciousness.Killing Cinderella would be bad, right?

MachoPoni must rescue his girlfriend, Dust, from the Land of the Undead Ponies.Unfortunately, to do so, he must become one of the undead, himself.Along the way, he encounters a pony with a mohawk, the Chill-Aid Man (who's filled with blood), and the CuddleBears, (who have porcupine quills and like to give deadly hugs).(The illustrations are included inside the book.)This first volume of the dementedly funny 80's nostalgia series, The Poniworld Chronicles, introduces us to MachoPoni. He's a purple pony who tries to act tough, but has a heart of gold.And his heart has a soft spot for a female pony named Dust. He's loved her ever since they were children, though many would call him a fool for doing so. Because most ponies would call Dust cruel and manipulative. But the part of her that MachoPoni fell in love with, is a part deep inside that she doesn't show to others.These books are darkly humorous, twisted parodies that maybe children shouldn't be allowed to read. They're truly "children's books for adults and teens," delivered with a twisted sense of humor.

Note--This is not a box set. This is a single 675 page book.You've been misled. Lewis Carroll didn't reveal the whole story... Alice never left Wonderland. She's trapped. She's angry. And she wants revenge. If you're a fan of twisted fairy tales, you'll love this dementedly funny series, brought to you by the author of Dorothy vs. Alice. The truth is not what you were led to believe. It wasn't all "just a dream." It's a nightmare. A nightmare she can't escape, where formerly pleasant characters throw her unhappy unbirthday parties to torment her, while others like to make her cry so they can lick her tears. But one day after years of this unpleasantness, she loses her heart. Literally. Well, technically somebody steals it. And she has to get it back. By any means necessary. And it's a lot easier to be ruthless now that she's heartless. Alice is fed up with all the losers of Wonderland, from the sadistic Queen of Hearts to the goofy Mad Hatter to the bloodthirsty Cheshire Cat. And she's tired of being so sweet and innocent, with all her dimples. She used to be a preteen, but today is her 13th birthday, and she'll be singing "unhappy birthday" loudly as she delivers violent justice Yeah, she used to be so sweet you could die. Well, now they all shall die...literally. It may be 1865, but Alice is about to go medieval. She will have her heart returned to her even if she has to kill all the citizens of Wonderland one by one...

Now that Ember is no longer a child actor, her fame is waning and she needs a publicity stunt to revive it.So she decides to auction her virginity.But things start going downhill when the cohost of a morning show kills herself after Ember makes her announcement. Days later, Maggy, Ember's former costar, gets caught up in a sex tape scandal. And on top of that, Ember finds herself in fear of the billionaire who bid the highest in the auction.The stress causes her to struggle with her various addictions. But her greatest addiction is to fame. Is she willing to do what it takes to keep it?

Charlee Frown must struggle to prevent a holiday known as BlackHearts Day from taking hold. But then she starts thinking, maybe it's not so bad after all, because Valentine's Day really sucks. She's asked to star in a sappy Hall-mart Cards Valentine's television special. But then she learns about the origin of Valentine's Day, and the role of the Illuminati and Aleister Crowley in it...in cooperation with Hall-mart. Charlee is torn. What should she do? She just wants to be on TV Can Valentine's Day be saved? By the author of SinEaster and Merry XXXmas, Charlee Frown.

In the final installment of the romantic sci-fi/fantasy Faerie Brace-Face Trilogy, Cabby's high school nemesis from the past has returned.Her name is Mackenzie and she's determined to not only ruin Cabby's life, but to steal Darren away from her as well And so, Cabby and Darren find themselves returning to high school to replay certain key events between the two girls. And whoever ends up "winning" this time around will end up ruling over all of CabbyWorld. Of course, if Mackenzie wins, it will be renamed MackenzieWorld.But Cabby is not about to give up her power or her dear fianc , Darren. Because she has plans to marry that sweet, dreamy boy and live happily ever after, as husband and wife, and King and Queen. And with no stupid Mackenzie By the author of the Malice in Wonderland Saga.

12-year-old Nina is an aspiring supermodel, actress and pop star who has everything going for her. Wealth. A magical scar down the side of her face. A fiance willing to do anything for her.All she needs now is fame. She's willing to do anything for it. Anything. Even kill for it. After all, she already has.Ordering her new fans around is a thrill, but it's not all fun and games. She has nightmares sometimes.Because she can't help but feel she has awakened dark forces.By the author of Malice in Wonderland.

In this romantic sci-fi/fantasy tale, Darren is a human boy who's fallen in love with a fairy girl named Cabby.So when Cabby is forced to wear braces and flees their village as a result, Darren has no choice but to follow the girl he loves, because he never wants to be without her in his life.He finds himself sucked into surreal adventures he hadn't expected, but he endures it all for his beloved Cabby.This book is a treat for your inner child, a fantastical, unapologetically playful fairy story that is always utterly romantic.This book is the first in a trilogy, followed by Revenge of the Faebots, and The Return of Mackenzie

Twisted fairy tale beings have been unleashed into Wonderland, and Queen Malice wants to kick them out. But the man known as the Storyteller wants to make a sick game of it all. So he sets up a series of challenges in which Malice and the Queen of Hearts must go up against the fairy tales. It's a demented and deadly game, in which Malice risks losing those she cherishes most-the Mad Hatter, Humpty, and the Tweedle Twins. Saving Wonderland from fairy tale infestation isn't going to be easy.

The faebots are working hard to revive Cabby's high school nemesis, Mackenzie, by downloading her data into the new faebot leader, who they're calling the "Mackenzie Aspirant." That's because she wants to become Mackenzie, just so she can ruin Cabby's life.Cabby and Darren struggle to find out where the data is being stored, so they can erase it before the faebots get to it. Because the last thing Cabby wants is all the drama that girl would bring into her life. She'd rather focus on her relationship with Darren, and, meanwhile, Darren would like to focus on Cabby, because he yearns to give her a ring to show how much she means to him. But rings are hard to come by in the world they find themselves in.

The Brothers Grimm are trying to unleash twisted fairy tale beings into Wonderland. 15-year-old Queen Malice doesn't want to deal with them. She vows to vanquish them in a whirlwind of fury and vitriol Ahem. Anyway, then Malice's dear friend, the Mad Hatter, is kidnapped. So to save him, Malice is forced to work with Cinderella, and ends up getting sucked into Fairy Tale Land. But she also has to deal with troublesome romantic feelings, and a malfunctioning heart that leads to murderous rage. She'll try not to kill too many creatures and people, though. Not-quite-right versions of Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty and even the Three Little Pigs make their appearances. And of course, her friends the Mad Hatter, Humpty Dumpty and even the Cheshire Cat are along for the adventure. If things keep going this way, the fairy tales might eventually cross over into the outside world, where her twin, Alice, lives. Malice struggles to do the right thing, but her heart keeps malfunctioning, sending her into fits of maliciousness. Killing Cinderella would be bad, right?

From the author of Malice in Wonderland. Emilie is a supermodel battling with a bad childhood and alcoholism. When a handsome billionaire offers to photograph her, she has no idea her life will soon be in danger. Too late, she discovers that the girls he photographs are becoming suicidal. The billionaire decorates his walls with paintings of a scarred woman who was gorgeous before she was cut. Emilie realizes she must find out who that woman was if she ever hopes to survive. And she must figure out who the mysterious little girl was who visited her, the little girl with the scar on the side of her face. . .

Would you sell your soul for Glam Metal? M tley H erd did. This bare-all autobiography follows their journey from Doo-wop band Moxie Scamps to their discovery of Glam Metal and their rise to fame, with all the debauchery and groupies that came with it. Warning: contains hard candy use, foul language, pony nudity and rough cuddling. By the author of SinEaster.