PAUL HOWARD

The hilarious new satire from the bestselling author of the Ross O'Carroll-Kelly series There’s only one idea more foolish than dividing Ireland – and that’s trying to put it back together again. Meet Fiach O’Bric: career diplomat, recent widower, and a man looking forward to a peaceful retirement. But just when he thinks he's out, he is strong-armed into taking over a shadowy top-secret department tasked with preparing for a United Ireland — a job so surreal it makes his last posting, in Beijing, seem like a Buddhist retreat. Running the Department with Responsibility for Making Arrangements for the Unification of Ireland, an outfit quietly failing since 1958, Fiach finds himself managing a team of oddballs, timeservers, and a die-hard nationalist from Dundalk. And he spends his days refereeing rows about everything everyone has failed to agree for about 800 years, as well as absurd new suggestions – like conjuring a capital city that nobody actually wants. In Westmeath. Nothing is too crazy to be proposed, nor too sensible to be rejected. Fiach can feel the hand of history on his shoulder. He suspects it may soon throttle him. Yet, against his better judgement — and all available evidence — a dangerous thought takes hold. What if he could be the one to do what Tone, Pearse and centuries of Irish martyrs failed to do: make Ireland one, and somehow not die in the process. Dream on, Fiach. --- ‘Our nation’s greatest satirist’ Irish Times ‘One of the funniest writers in the country’ RTÉ Radio 1

Discover a brand-new slipcased hardback edition of the beloved classic picture book story about overcoming fears, featuring Plop the Baby Owl – the perfect gift for young readers. Plop, the baby owl, is like every barn owl there ever was, except for one thing – he is afraid of the dark … The dark is brimming with excitement and magic. As Plop ventures into the night, he meets a boy who shows him fireworks, a black cat who takes him exploring, a girl who tells him about Father Christmas, among other surprising discoveries… · A sumptuous slipcased hardback edition of the much-loved abridged picture book. · This uplifting story about finding the courage to face your fears has been beloved of parents and children for decades – and its message of resilience is as timely as ever. · Filled with Jill Tomlinson’s gentle humour and heart-warming illustrations from Paul Howard.

Hands-on and fully interactive, Let’s Play Rugby! encourages all kids to give rugby a go – in their bedrooms, living-rooms and gardens. This book puts the young reader in the boots of a rugby player as they play in the big final! Jog on the spot! Do some star jumps! Then face off against your opponents in the game of your life. This fully illustrated picture book is one for children and parents to tackle together.

The hilarious memoir from the funniest man in football!Roddy Collins is a football man - now in the sixth decade of a career as a player (at sixteen clubs), manager (twelve clubs) and commentator. And he is a funny man: an unequalled raconteur with a sharp eye for the absurdities of the professional game and spectacular recall. He has made friends wherever he has gone, along with some high-quality enemies. When John Delaney said he could get Roddy a job if he'd just stop criticising him, Roddy replied that he'd 'rather dig holes in the road'.Now, with the brilliant Paul Howard, Roddy puts it all down on paper for the first time - the adventures, the rows and the craic - in what is not only one of the funniest but also one of the most eye-opening books ever written about professional football.

Phil Quinlan was a sports-mad fifteen year old when he packed his bag one Sunday morning in 1989 to play a game of football. A clash of heads on the pitch changed his life forever. Falling into a coma, he was given a twenty-five-percent chance to live. He regained consciousness six weeks later, waking to a world filled with pain. Full of hope and humour, rage and despair, this is Phil’s story of chronic pain and rehabilitation, travelling the globe and finding love. A hugely inspirational tale of determination to overcome the results of a devastating injury.

An ordinary boy. The most EXTRAORDINARY, stinkiest superpower!Some months have past since Aldrin Adams discovered his extraordinary SUPERPOWER. When he eats CHEESE, just before he goes to sleep, he can enter into other people's dreams . . . and their nightmares! He's learned when to eat blue cheese (to help with nightmares about KILLER toys), smoked cheese (to help him recover from using his powers) and good old Cheddar (TOP SECRET). He's also come face to face with his nemesis - A MYSTERIOUS SUPERNATURAL VILLAIN who creates NIGHTMARES for millions of children every night.Aldrin survived, but only JUST. And now what is he supposed to do? Save the world, one SCARY CLOWN nightmare at a time? Shouldn't being a superhero be more adventurous than this? Is there a way to beat his Nemesis once and for all?Find out, as Aldrin navigates his new life, meets more people with powers like him and - finally - faces his NEMESIS again!

Gordon is back again for his biggest challenge yet in the third book of the hilarious Gordon's Game series!__________Gordon D'Arcy has achieved a lot in his short life. He has won the Six Nations with Ireland and the European Cup with Leinster.Not bad for a boy who's still at school!Now, he has a brand-new opportunity - the chance to play for the famous British and Irish Lions as they tour South Africa. But before he can get on the plane, he must overcome the injury that threatens to end his career, and make the difficult choice between rugby and friendship.Gordon has to help Clive Woodward pull off a series win against South Africa and their fearsome forwards - the notorious Bomb Squad.And he certainly has to keep his wits about him when he finds himself in a wildlife reserve, surrounded by animals that want to eat him for dinner!Is another dream about to come true for Gordon D'Arcy? Or has this young Lion finally bitten off more than he can chew?

*Shortlisted for the Children's Book of the Year - Irish Book Awards*The laugh-out-loud funny children's book from Number-One-Bestselling Ross O'Carroll Kelly author, Paul Howard. Illustrated throughout by Lee Cosgrove.An adventure full of mystery, magic and cheeses that seriously, SERIOUSLY pong!ALDRIN ADAMS is an ordinary boy with an EXTRAORDINARY SUPERPOWER. When he eats cheese just before he goes to sleep, he can enter into other people's dreams . . . AND THEIR NIGHTMARES!But why has he got this power? And what is he supposed to do with it?HE NEEDS ANSWERS . . . AND FAST!What Aldrin doesn't realize is that he is being watched by a MYSTERIOUS, SUPERNATURAL VILLAIN who's creating nightmares for millions of children every night.Will an ordinary boy, armed with his pet frog and the STINKIEST CHEESE in the world, be enough to stop him?A brilliantly funny, heartwarming story, perfect for fans of David Baddiel and Sam Copeland.

1, 2, BOO Learn to count with this spooky Halloween board book that will have little ones scared silly Watch out Halloween is here, and all kinds of creepy creatures are out to play. Join the fun and count to ten with all the ghouls and ghosts we meet when we trick-or-treat Full of spooky Halloween fun, this silly board book is perfect for little monsters learning to count.

The laugh-out-loud funny children's book from the number-one-bestselling Ross O'Carroll Kelly author, Paul Howard. Illustrated throughout by Lee Cosgrove.Aldrin Adams is an ordinary boy with an extraordinary superpower. When he eats cheese, just before he goes to sleep at night, he can enter into other people's dreams... and their nightmares! But why has he, of all people, been given this ability? What is he supposed to do with it? And why doesn't it come with some kind of instruction manual that explains how it works? There are so many questions that require answers. Luckily, Aldrin's dad owns the biggest and finest cheesemonger's for miles and miles around, offering him unlimited access to some of the stinkiest cheeses in the world as he tries to figure it all out. What Aldrin doesn't realise, as he embarks on his journey of discovery, is that he is being watched by Habeas Grusselvart, a mysterious, supernatural villain who creates nightmares for millions and millions of children every night. Suddenly, a young boy poses a threat to his plans to control the world through fear. Which is why he must be stopped - at all costs! Join Aldrin Adams on an unforgettable adventure as he steps into a world of mystery and magic and cheeses that seriously, SERIOUSLY pong!

Gordon is back for more mayhem and mischief in the second book in the laugh-out-loud Gordon's Game series!__________Gordon D'Arcy - the only kid at school with a Six Nations medal hidden under his pillow! Though helping Ireland to win the Grand Slam feels like it was just a dream.Now, he's been given a brand new challenge - the chance to play for Leinster.After learning so many lessons playing for Ireland - including how to make a complete eejit of himself in front of millions of people - fitting in at Leinster should be a breeze. Right?Unfortunately, not. After his first training session, he sees why the team is mocked for being 'soft' (those stories about players wearing fake tan? All true!). Now he knows why so many people from Leinster support Munster.But Gordon settles down to work under an inspiring coach named Joe Schmidt. Joe promises that, with hard work, discipline and a bit of self-belief, Leinster can win the European Cup.Maybe another dream can come true!

A rugby-mad boy. A huge game. And a chance for an epic win . . . or an epic fail!Gordon D'Arcy is an ordinary boy, but he's not so ordinary once he gets a rugby ball in his hands. He's the star player for Wexford Wanderers and dreams of one day wearing the Ireland jersey. A dream like that means hard work, raw talent and never losing sight of your goals.But Gordon has a wild streak that often lands him in trouble. Mum and Dad think that if he can just channel his energy, all will be well. Then something utterly mad happens and he gets a chance to live his biggest dream. Can he stay on his game and do everyone proud? Or will trouble follow him . . . like it usually does? Gordon's Game is a funny and inspiring adventure for rugby lovers of all ages!'A cracking read . . . which will appeal to all the family' Irish Country Magazine

We went trick-or-treating and we saw ...When a brother and sister go trick-or-treating, they compete to see who find the most bizarre and brilliant things. As they try to count all the hair-raising creatures, everything escalates until …It’s time for the Halloween feast! HAPPY HALLOWEEN, EVERYONE!A new take on an old favourite, children will love learning to count with this funny rhyming story – packed with ghosts, skeletons, dancing monsters, spooky bats and much, much more! From the illustrator of the bestselling The Owl Who Was Afraid of the Dark, this is a brilliant and accessible board-book version of Paul Howard's laugh-out-loud Halloween picture book, I Went Trick-or-Treating.

I went trick-or-treating and I scared... a naughty, warty toad, a sliding, gliding ghost, a howling, growling wolf and some super silly skeletons...When a brother and sister go trick-or-treating, they compete to see who can scare the creepiest creatures. As they try to remember each hair-raising encounter, everything escalates – until they get the biggest fright of all! A new take on an old favourite, children will love this laugh-out-loud, test-your-memory story, with ghosts, skeletons, a spooky pirate ship and much, much more!From the illustrator of the bestselling The Owl Who Was Afraid of the Dark, this is a hilarious follow-up to I Went to the Supermarket and I Went to See Santa.

I went trick-or-treating and I scared... a naughty, warty toad, a sliding, gliding ghost, a howling, growling wolf and some super silly skeletons...When a brother and sister go trick-or-treating, they compete to see who can scare the creepiest creatures. As they try to remember each hair-raising encounter, everything escalates – until they get the biggest fright of all! A new take on an old favourite, children will love this laugh-out-loud, test-your-memory story, with ghosts, skeletons, a spooky pirate ship and much, much more!From the illustrator of the bestselling The Owl Who Was Afraid of the Dark, this is a hilarious follow-up to I Went to the Supermarket and I Went to See Santa.

A terrorist bombing at a summer carnival on the Brighton sea front causes mayhem and murder. Detective Inspector Sarah Machin and her colleague, Detective Sergeant Morgan Roberts, recently transferred to Counter Terrorism Command, are sent to investigate. After discovering the bomber, a teenage boy, had been kidnapped and had no connection with any terrorist group, a baffled Machin starts a frantic hunt for the ones behind the awful crime.With the recent rise of the English Patriot Party, a far right organization fronted in Sussex by local leader, Ian Bailey, Machin looks at them as major suspects. When ex-copper Bailey denies all knowledge and claims the bombing was, in fact, carried out by the militant left in a bid to destroy the well-supported EPP, Machin's case is thrown into disarray. As the investigation unfolds and more terror attacks are carried out by what appear to be brainwashed boys, she realizes that she's locked in a fight with evil killers who have no compunction about taking human life.

The movie set of the Regal Films post-war drama, The Valley of Dreams, is a place of dark menace and evil, where everything isn't as it seems. Cameraman, Peter Rivers, has a hidden past. Under many different identities, this serial killer has left a trail of victims behind him, a fact the cast and crew of the movie are blissfully unaware of. Charming and confident, he chooses Debbie Duncan, the movie's co-star, as his new soulmate/submissive, but she isn't as easy to manipulate and subdue as he expected. Then Detective Inspector Sarah Machin shows up at the movie set in Wales with questions about his former girlfriend's murder, and things spiral out of control for Rivers. He knows he should flee, but he can't settle into a new life while one of his intended victims is still alive, resulting in an all-consuming need for him to come after Duncan. Even though she has police protection and the close attentions of friend and confidante, Director Clay Thompson, Rivers will not be denied, leading more than one participant to confront the dark side of their souls...

I went to see Santa and I got ...When a brother and sister go to see Santa, they compete to see who can be given the most bizarre and brilliant things. As they try to remember all the Christmas gifts, everything escalates until ...It’s CHRISTMAS! MERRY CHRISTMAS, EVERYONE!A new take on an old favourite, children will love this laugh-out-loud, test-your-memory story, with reindeer, penguins, a gingerbread tree and much, much more!From the illustrator of the bestselling The Owl Who Was Afraid of the Dark and the hilarious follow-up to I Went to the Supermarket.

Few people rode the popular wave of the sixties quite like Tara Browne. One of Swinging London's most popular faces, he lived fast, died young and was immortalized for ever in the opening lines of 'A Day in the Life', a song that many critics regard as The Beatles' finest. But who was John Lennon's lucky man who made the grade and then blew his mind out in a car?Author Paul Howard has pieced together the extraordinary story of a young Irishman who epitomized the spirit of the times: racing car driver, Vogue model, friend of The Rolling Stones, style icon, son of a peer, heir to a Guinness fortune and the man who turned Paul McCartney on to LSD.I Read the News Today, Oh Boy is the story of a child born into Ireland's dwindling aristocracy, who spent his early years in an ancient castle in County Mayo, and who arrived in London just as it was becoming the most exciting city on the planet. The Beatles and the Stones were about to conquer America, Carnaby Street was setting the style template for the world and rich and poor were rubbing shoulders in the West End in a new spirit of classlessness. Among young people, there was a growing sense that they could change the world. And no one embodied the ephemeral promise of London's sixties better than Tara Browne.Includes a sixteen-page plate section of stunning colour photographs.