Randy Horton

How many things do you think in a day? And how many of those are things you've thought before? Science tells us that over the age of 23.5 our thoughts are increasingly skewed toward repetition, clich and confirmation bias. This book contains over 1,800 poignant observations on the wonderful meaninglessness of existence. Whether it's cetacean sex toys, Tourette's-inflicted mimes, or the flavor profiles of flatulence from 16th century nobles, you'll increase the number of things you think in a given day by as much as 683%, making you a full 6.8 times as smart as you were before you began the book. So continue with your tedious quotidian existence, or pony up a few dollars and dive into a world of post-prandial suicide lobster bibs and sentient intestinal parasites. The choice is yours.

A unique blend of consciousness theory, satire and contemporary science fiction, The Undernet is a fast-paced thriller set in the cultural wasteland of modern Los Angeles.Decadent Uncle Ray dies of an apparent heart attack, just minutes before Arthur French walks in the door from Tucson, Arizona to start his new career as an artist. This sets into motion a series of unfortunate interactions with the men and women of Ray's life -Sharon his unstable girlfriend, Marc, his steroidally-enhanced lawyer, and the mysterious Detective Turing, a voice on the phone which Arthur soon discovers is in fact a computer program that Ray built to influence the Federal Reserve's prime lending rate. Despite all evidence to the contrary, Turing insists it's not self-conscious, just highly suspicious about the death of its creator.Teaming up with the manic (if oddly self-effacing) computer program, Arthur investigates the circumstances behind Ray's death, uncovering a plan, and an entity, of mindbending comic proportions.

A wry comic mystery set in Los Angeles --the land where dreams go to die-- The Naked Raving Empty is the story of one desperate man's attempt to win the love of a fickle and perhaps sociopathic woman through a single act of brazen fraud. But in a culture where lying to yourself can be the only way to survive, fraud can sometimes reveal a deeper truth.Our hero's girlfriend has a boyfriend of her own, the other woman in his life is a drug-addled agoraphobic, and his only remaining friend is a fast-talking aggressively gay hustler with a penchant for dangerous stock swindles. The future looks bleak. So in a desperate act to revive his flagging career, Randy resorts to fraud. He creates a mystery, a wholly manufactured conspiracy around the sudden death of failed television actor Jack Kane, and he tries to sell this story to the highest bidder. But if the conspiracy is a lie, then why are so many people suddenly trying to stop him? "We believe in what we want after all; and we want what we cannot have. This I knew all too well from experience. But what came new on the floor of the holding cell was the final lock-step end to this reasoning--we believe in what we cannot have. So I would give them what they wanted, a conspiracy to grace their past with interest. I would pretend I had a mystery and interview the men and women of Jack Kane's life, recording their real responses to a mythical plot --the gold dildo that killed him and its mysterious disappearance."