Ron Koertge

Percy Jackson meets The Labors of Hercules Beal in this hilarious, page-turning fantasy adventure with a heart of gold from two award-winning authors. Simon expected more from life than being orphaned in ancient Greece and stuck in the Underworld for eternity. Determined not to forget who he is, he commits himself to escaping Hades. Along the way, he faces the monster Cerberus, befriends the tormented Sisyphus, and becomes Persephone's favorite servant. Then, after centuries of failed attempts, he is finally thrust into modern times--and into the stall of a middle school bathroom. Naked. With the help of Zeke, a nerdy rich kid on the social fringes, Simon learns to navigate this amazing and bewildering world. And with Simon's help, Zeke begins to question his comfortable life and understand the true meaning of friendship. Everything seems to be going great . . . until the god of the Underworld sends a demon girl to bring Simon back. And suddenly, it's not just the secret of Simon's past that's threatened, but their very lives--and everyone's around them, too. Is their friendship strong enough to withstand the Will of Hades and save St. Nikolaos Academy Middle School? From two-time Newbery honoree Gary D. Schmidt and two-time PEN Award winner Ron Koertge, Styx and Stones is an unforgettable coming-of-age adventure about friendship, courage, and identity, brimming with Greek mythology and high-stakes action.

NATIONALLY-HONORED POET • POET LAUREATE OF SOUTH PASADENA, CALIFORNIA • PUSHCART PRIZE WINNER • Ron Koertge explores human fragility throughout history in his poetry collection, PANDORA’S KITCHEN“Moral certainties and stereotypes vanish in these sly/subversive, satiric/tender, achingly funny/humane poems.”–Amy Gerstler • “They are poetry at its best, causing his readers to laugh, think, and feel anew.”–Billy Collins, former US poet laureate. The subjects in Ron Koertge’s poems include Hades’ unhappy wife Persephone, Nancy Drew, and Dracula’s Wives.The subjects in Ron Koertge’s poems include Hades’ unhappy wife Persephone, Nancy Drew, and Dracula’s Wives. He has located Jane Austen at the mall, comforted the sun itself, and celebrated a winning day at the races. In an early poem, he extols his chosen vocation by saying this: “It’s so great to be a poet. I’m basically self-employed with nobody to please but myself.” Yet pleasing his many fans is at the top of his Things-To-Do list. That is why poets from Billy Collins to B. H. Fairchild have called his poems masterful, quirky, deliciously sly, inventive and surprisingly sweet.

The subjects in Ron Koertge’s poems include Hades’ unhappy wife Persephone, Nancy Drew, and Dracula’s Wives. He has located Jane Austen at the mall, comforted the sun itself, and celebrated a winning day at the races. In an early poem, he extols his chosen vocation by saying this: “It’s so great to be a poet. I’m basically self-employed with nobody to please but myself.” Yet pleasing his many fans is at the top of his Things-To-Do list. That is why poets from Billy Collins to B. H. Fairchild have called his poems masterful, quirky, deliciously sly, inventive and surprisingly sweet.

Look Both Ways meets Seedfolks in this masterful novel from two titans of kid lit that follows a diverse cast of young people whose lives intersect in surprising and hilarious ways over the course of a summer day.Here's what's so cool about the beach. Kids are everywhere Kids you know, kids you want to know. Wandering from one blanket to another, from one family to another. Somebody's mom reads a fat summer novel. Somebody's dad snores with an iPad on his chest. Babies cry. Girls laugh. Frisbee players whoop Kites in the perfect blue sky. Some kids bodysurf. Some don't even like the water. They build sand cities for their friends and sand jails for the grown-ups, and when the tide comes in everything gets washed away. There's the other world, where all kids hear is tomorrow, next week, next year. And then there's the beach, where everything is right now Why can't every day be a day at the beach?From two-time Newbery honoree Gary D. Schmidt and two-time PEN Award winner Ron Koertge comes a moving and often laugh-out-loud funny middle grade novel about family, friendship, and belonging, told by a group of kids spending a day at the beach. Thoughtful vignettes brilliantly weave together an irresistible tale of tween conflict and connections.

I Dreamed I Was Emily Dickinson’s Boyfriend easily solidifies his reputation as a poet who is very funny and also very serious. In these surprising and delightful poems, a mannequin joins the Me Too movement, a summer job turns into a lesson in class distinctions, and Jane Austen makes a surprise appearance at a mall. Ron Koertge’s uniquely playful imagination is on display in poem after poem.

Ron Koertge’s Yellow Moving Van is a collection of relaxed and buoyant and sometimes very funny poems that address Desi & Lucy with the same courtesy as Walt Whitman. The author celebrates his roots in the Mid-West and a few pages later stops off in Transylvania. These poems like to sometimes embrace and sometimes confound expectations, and they all stand together as enemies of the murky and pompous. There is apparently no subject -- Prometheus, a fifty foot woman, or Death himself -- that is unwilling to fall under his spell.

Imagine a heaven populated by familiar Greek gods. Sexy Aphrodite, gorgeous Adonis, Ares the warmonger, Artemis the huntress, wise Athena, bitter Demeter, and the like. But imagine also each of these denizens of Olympus stepping forward and revealing qualities that any reader can recognize: Hades, ruler of the underworld, lovesick for Persephone. Baffled Hephaestus, god of fire, husband of Aphrodite who can’t keep her clothes on. Add a defiant Sisyphus and a cadre of grumpy water nymphs and those are only some of the inhabitants of Olympusville—a fantastic and, in the hands of poet Ron Koertge and illustrator Alicia Kleman, endlessly intriguing world. Featuring 16 black and white ink illustrations.

The third book of the Backyard Witch series stars a spelling bee almost-champion, an imaginary chicken, and Ms. M, the mysterious witch who always appears when you need her.From acclaimed authors Christine Heppermann and Ron Koertge, this fun-filled friendship story is just right for fans of Ivy + Bean, Dory Fantasmagory, and Clementine.Maya has been preparing for the school spelling bee F-O-R-E-V-E-R. She spells every unusual word she hears and even enlists her best friends, Sadie and Jess, to help her practice. But on the day of the bee, something terrible happens--Maya loses. To Sadie.Enter Ms. M, who is substituting for the school librarian. Ms. M always knows just how to make everyone feel better . . . but she also always brings a little mischief. This time it involves a library poltergeist and an imaginary chicken Short chapters filled with illustrator Deborah Marcero's striking, lively black-and-white illustrations make the Backyard Witch series a must-have for young middle grade readers.

The second book of the Backyard Witch series by acclaimed authors Christine Heppermann and Ron Koertge, starring Ms. M, the mysterious witch who appears just when you need her. Booklist called Jess's Story a "humorous, bewitching tale." A must-have for newly independent readers and fans of Ivy + Bean, Clementine, and the Food Network Jess is a superstar on the field and on the court. Soccer, basketball, baseball, tennis--you name it, she loves it. But she's a disaster in the kitchen, much to the dismay of her mother, who is a chef. When Jess's mom gets a chance to work in a famous kitchen for a week, Jess and her friends, Sadie and Maya, try to help out by making dinner. And . . . let's just say the attempt goes up in flames. Enter Ms. M, the mysterious witch who appears right when you need her Ms. M is a heroine to rival Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle and Ms. Frizzle. Ms. M doesn't save the day herself; she helps everyone save it themselves.Acclaimed authors Christine Heppermann and Ron Koertge have a knack for sly, gentle humor; satisfying challenges and triumphs; and magical dazzle. Short chapters filled with illustrator Deborah Marcero's striking, lively black-and-white illustrations make the Backyard Witch series a must-have for young middle grade readers. Includes a recipe and information about cooking and gardening.

Powerful, riveting, real. Sixteen celebrated authors bring us raw, insightful stories that explore guns and teens in a fiction collection that is thought provoking and emotionally gripping. For fans of Forgive Me, Leonard Peacock and Give a Boy a Gun, and with an array of YA talent like the late great Walter Dean Myers, the poetic Joyce Carol Oates, the prophetic Elizabeth Wein, and the gritty Chris Crutcher, these are evocative voices that each has a different perspective to give. Capturing the hurt and the healing, victims and perpetrators, these stories get to the heart of the matter. From a boy whose low self-esteem is impacted when a gun comes into his possession to a student recalling a senseless tragedy that befell a favorite teacher, from a realistic look at hunting to a provocative look at a family that defies stereotypes, each emotional story stirs the debate to new levels. The juxtaposition of guns and their consequences offers moving tales, each a reminder of how crucial the question of guns in our society is, and the impact they have on all of us. Other acclaimed contributors are Marc Aronson, Edward Averett, Francesca Lia Block, Alex Flinn, Gregory Galloway, Jenny Hubbard, Peter Johnson, Ron Koertge, Chris Lynch, Eric Shanower, Will Weaver, and Tim Wynne-Jones.

A must-have for newly independent readers and fans of Ivy + Bean and Clementine The first of a new series starring three young girls and a mysterious visitor who appears exactly when you need her--with just the right amount of magic.Sadie has two best friends: Jess and Maya. But Jess can only take one friend on vacation with her, and Sadie is the one who gets left behind. How will Sadie ever survive the days of loneliness and boredom? But wait . . . what is that in her old playhouse in the backyard? A witch has moved in A kind and funny witch, who's looking for her own two lost friends. Together, Sadie and the witch have a curious adventure, one that makes Sadie see her neighborhood--and herself--with new eyes. Acclaimed authors Ron Koertge and Christine Heppermann--writing together and for younger readers for the first time--have created a heroine to rival Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle and Ms. Frizzle. Short chapters, a satisfying mystery, gentle humor, magical dazzle, and adorable black-and-white illustrations throughout by debut artist Deborah Marcero make this an ideal pick for readers of Ivy + Bean, Just Grace, and Kate DiCamillo's young novels.

Ron Koertge wants to do nothing but delight. Armed with wit and brains, he introduces readers to Dr. Frankenstein's frustrated fiancée and gives an alternate reading to the Bible story about Lot's nameless wife. He rues the loss of a favorite pair of underpants, attends a bachelor party where Mr. Magoo makes an appearance, and suggests what cheerleaders will be like in the future. Bashful, one of the seven dwarfs, spills the beans about Snow White. Death comes home from a business trip to his favorite meal, and Epeius—who designed the Trojan horse—turns out to be a better architect than a warrior. Saint George muses about girls, and on her honeymoon Mrs. Mark Trail wishes her husband would take his eyes off that moose get down to business. In a sestina, Ron probes the psyches of the Hardy boys. A half dozen charming couplets tell about an experience at a local car wash, and a domestic reveals the secret life of clothes. Like Reverend Ike and John Lennon said, "Whatever gets you through the night"—this book will do that and carry you right into the next day. Guaranteed.

Ron Koertge eagerly tries his talented hand at Flash Fiction. In "BFF," a teenage girl from the near-future orders friends from Amazon. A few pages later, a robot who travels what is left of the world and observes through "well-engineered eyes" claims that the sound of turbines is his lullaby. A fed-up daughter finds a foolproof way to do away with her awful mother, while in "Jesus Dog" a mysterious animal helps a broken man recover. A page from Lois Lane's diary reveals a shocking secret. Many mothers and daughters will see themselves in Ron's version of the Persephone & Demeter story. Readers are ushered aboard a mysterious train and later invited to listen in as a teacher chats with a peculiar student named Oliver Oliver. A distant relative of Leda takes her boyfriend to the arboretum with grisly results, and Mr. Weenie tells his daughter how he and her mother met. "Sex World," the title story, turns out to not be about sex at all, but heartbreak. In these and dozens more, Ron lives up to his reputation as someone who is funny the way the truly serious often are.

Ron Koertge eagerly tries his talented hand at Flash Fiction. In “BFF,” a teenage girl from the near-future orders friends from Amazon. A few pages later, a robot who travels what is left of the world and observes through “well-engineered eyes” claims that the sound of turbines is his lullaby. A fed-up daughter finds a foolproof way to do away with her awful mother, while in “Jesus Dog” a mysterious animal helps a broken man recover. A page from Lois Lane’s diary reveals a shocking secret. Many mothers and daughters will see themselves in Ron’s version of the Persephone & Demeter story. Readers are ushered aboard a mysterious train and later invited to listen in as a teacher chats with a peculiar student named Oliver Oliver. A distant relative of Leda takes her boyfriend to the arboretum with grisly results, and Mr. Weenie tells his daughter how he and her mother met. “Sex World,” the title story, turns out to not be about sex at all, but heartbreak. In these and dozens more, Ron lives up to his reputation as someone who is funny the way the truly serious often are.

Ron Koertge wants to do nothing but delight. Armed with his trademark wit, he introduces readers to Little Red Riding Hood all grown up with a fondness for salsa and chips, explores the thorny relationship of Jackie Robinson and Pee Wee Reese, spies a Trojan pony and the children it bamboozles, and offers an alternate reading to the Icarus story. He meets Walt Whitman on the set of an X-rated movie, attends his gardener’s funeral, and goes to his beloved race track. Seminal figures from pop mythology speak up in unexpected ways: The Beast, transformed by Beauty, hints that his new life isn’t exactly what he expected. Gretel enrolls in night school, the ogre’s wife from the beanstalk yarn writes a heart-rending story on her cutting board, and a group of fourth-graders on a field trip encounters Death. Occasionally setting aside free verse, there are couplets about a Bette Davis movie, a sestina about routine blood tests, a villanelle set in a topless bar, and a set of haibun that chronicles an entire day. Reverend Ike and John Lennon said, "Whatever gets you through the night." This book will do just that and carry you right on in to the next day, guaranteed.

Traditionally, the ghazal, an ancient Persian form, has a lot of requirements (couplets, rhyme, refrain), but one specific subject—love. Especially illicit and unattainable love. So what are readers to make of Ron Koertge’s ghazals which are about, among other things, the Seven Dwarfs, Technicolor, and Mothra? Well, you probably can’t beat him, so you may as well join him as—with a white hot imagination and irrepressible and unpredictable lyricism—he bends a few rules and breaks the rest. And yet his subject is still love. But not illicit or unattainable, since what he really loves is language. And language loves him back. There it is on every page, lying at his feet, panting.

Larry, Teresa, and Elliot, three troubled high school seniors who plan to run away together from Illinois to California after graduation, try to figure out who they are and who they want to be. Reprint.

"Ron Koertge can elevate the ordinary places of America?—the backyard, the classroom, the mall—?into scenes of mock-epic significance. He can just as easily lower the mythic worlds of Superman, Ozymandias and Cinderella to a level just a few inches above the bathetic. And he does all this with a charming combination of wit and empathy, satire and sweetness." —Billy Collins "I would think a poem entitled Getting Tough with John Ruskin,? ?Ozymandias and Harriet,? or ?Teen Jesus? would be enough to entice any reader. But permit it to be known that Koertge also carries around a lexicon that includes locutions such as ?snazzy,? a word I haven?t heard since my last Canasta game in 1959. We all know who said that poetry begins in delight and ends in wisdom, but Koertge might have said it because his poems are delight and wisdom all the way through. They are also very funny, the way the truly serious often is. This is a snazzy book, also a beautiful one, and I strongly urge you to buy it." —?B.H. Fairchild

"This funny and poignant novel celebrates the power of writing to help young people make sense of their lives and unlock and confront their problems." -- School Library Journal (starred review) When MVP Kevin Boland gets the news that he has mono and won't be seeing a baseball field for a while, he suddenly finds himself scrawling a poem down the middle of a page in his journal. To get some help, he cops a poetry book from his dad's den -- and before Kevin knows it, he's writing in verse about stuff like, Will his jock friends give up on him? What's the deal with girlfriends? Surprisingly enough, after his health improves, he keeps on writing, about the smart-talking Latina girl who thinks poets are cool, and even about his mother, whose death is a still-tender loss. Written in free verse with examples of several poetic forms slipped into the mix, including a sonnet, haiku, pastoral, and even a pantoum, this funny, poignant story by a master of dialogue is an English teacher's dream -- sure to hook poetry lovers, baseball fanatics, mono recoverers, and everyone in between.

Ron Koertge's startling, often poignant poetic novel evokes a suburban high school both familiar and terrifying. The Branston High School Class of 2001 seems familiar enough on the surface: there's the Smart One, the Fat Kid, Social Conscience, Bad Girl, Good Girl, Jock, Anorexic, Dyke, Rich Boy, Sistah, Stud . . . and Boyd, an Angry Young Man who has just made a dangerous new friend. Now he's making a list. The Branston High School Class of 2001. You might think you know them. You might be surprised. Narrated by fifteen teenage characters, this startling, often poignant poetic novel evokes a suburban high school both familiar and terrifying -- and provides an ideal opportunity for young adults to discuss violence in schools.