Stan Tatkin

At the heart of every healthy, fulfilling relationship lies the unshakable knowing that we can trust one another with the care of our whole well-being. Yet most of us arrive into our relationships with triggers, traumas, and old patterning that can make this kind of intimacy challenging. With In Each Other's Care, renowned psychotherapist Dr. Stan Tatkin explores all of the common complaints and conflicts we encounter in our relationships-money, time, chores, sex, kids, betrayal, decision-making, and more-providing practical tools, case studies, sample scripts, and key insights on how to navigate even the most contentious topics with understanding and respect. Leaning on his Psychobiological Approach to Couple Therapy (R) (PACT), Tatkin unpacks the root causes of our struggles with humour and compassion. "When we understand how our attachment styles, nervous systems, and unique backgrounds impact our interactions," he teaches, "we become empowered to change the way we relate with our partners instead of just wishing things were different." Written for both therapists and couples alike, In Each Other's Care is the most comprehensive guide to relationship challenges available. Whether you're tired of little misunderstandings, have lost that "spark," or are in full-on crisis mode, this book will help you return to love.

With more than 170,000 copies sold, Wired for Love is the complete "insider's guide" to understanding your partner's brain and enjoying a romantic relationship built on love and trust. Synthesizing new research drawn from neuroscience, attachment theory, and emotion regulation, this highly anticipated second edition presents the ten guiding principles that can improve any relationship. This fully revised and updated edition includes new guidance on how to manage disagreements, as well as new exercises to help readers create safety and security, establish healthy conflict ground rules, and deal with the threat of the third-any outside source which threatens the harmony in a relationship, including in-laws, alcohol, children, and affairs.The complete "insider's guide" to understanding your partner's brain, sparking lasting connection, and enjoying a romantic relationship built on love and trust-now with more than 170,000 copies sold."What the heck is my partner thinking?" "Why do they always react like this?" "How can we get back that connection we had in the beginning?" If you've ever asked yourself these questions, you aren't alone, and it doesn't mean that your relationship is doomed. Every person is wired for love differently-with different habits, needs, and reactions to conflict. The good news is that most people's minds work in predictable ways and respond well to security, attachment, and routines, making it possible to neurologically prime the brain for greater love and connection and fewer conflicts. This go-to guide will show you how.Drawn from neuroscience, attachment theory, and emotion regulation, this highly anticipated second edition of Wired for Love presents cutting-edge research on how and why love lasts, and offers ten guiding principles that can improve any relationship. This fully revised and updated edition also includes new guidance on how to manage disagreements, as well as new exercises to help you create a sense of safety and security, establish healthy conflict ground rules, and deal with the threat of the third-any outside source which threatens the harmony in your relationship, including in-laws, alcohol, children, and affairs.You'll find proven-effective strategies to help you strengthen your relationship by: ·Creating and maintaining a safe "couple bubble" ·Using morning and evening routines to stay connected ·Learning how to see your partner's point of view ·Meeting each other halfway in a fight ·Becoming the expert on what makes your partner feel loved By using simple gestures and words, you'll learn to put out emotional fires and help your partner feel appreciated and loved. You'll also discover how to move past a "warring brain" mentality and toward a more cooperative "loving brain." Most importantly, you'll gain a better understanding of the complex dynamics at work behind love and trust in intimate relationships.While there's no doubt that love is an inexact science, if you understand how you and your partner are wired differently, you can overcome your differences, and create a lasting intimate connection.

At the heart of every healthy, fulfilling relationship lies the unshakable knowing that we can trust one another with the care of our whole well-being. Yet most of us arrive into our relationships with triggers, traumas, and old patterning that can make this kind of intimacy challenging. With In Each Other’s Care, renowned psychotherapist Dr. Stan Tatkin explores all of the common complaints and conflicts we encounter in our relationships—money, time, chores, sex, kids, betrayal, decision-making, and more—providing practical tools, case studies, sample scripts, and key insights on how to navigate even the most contentious topics with understanding and respect. Leaning on his Psychobiological Approach to Couple Therapy® (PACT), Tatkin unpacks the root causes of our struggles with humour and compassion. “When we understand how our attachment styles, nervous systems, and unique backgrounds impact our interactions,” he teaches, “we become empowered to change the way we relate with our partners instead of just wishing things were different.” Written for both therapists and couples alike, In Each Other’s Care is the most comprehensive guide to relationship challenges available. Whether you’re tired of little misunderstandings, have lost that “spark,” or are in full-on crisis mode, this book will help you return to love.

Increase intimacy, connection, and love with this “critical” (Vanessa Van Edwards, bestselling author of Captivate: The Science of Succeeding with People), science-based guide to creating meaningful and lasting relationships. When it comes to building a better relationship with your partner, touch and connection matter so much more than the words that you say. And author and therapist John Howard is here to tell us why. More Than Words shows you how to deepen love and connection in any relationship based on the latest cutting-edge research in interpersonal neurobiology, trauma-informed healing, attachment theory, and many more scientific fields. This “brilliant guide” (Diane Poole-Heller, PhD, author of The Power of Attachment) explains why verbal communication may not elicit the connection you seek and offers ways to practice and form new habits that can nurture love, care, safety, comfort, and passion in relationships. Science shows that these techniques work, but most people don’t know them yet. You can start using these techniques today to increase intimacy and emotional connection in your closest relationships. Mindful of all the needs of the modern individual, More Than Words is inclusive of LGBTQ+, polyamorous, and other nontraditional committed relationships and ultimately looks to elevate the way we strengthen the most important bonds in our lives.

O knige Kniga, kotoraja nauchit luchshe ponimat svoego partnera i prevratit otnoshenija v istochnik radosti. Ot izvestnogo eksperta po otnoshenijam psikhoterapevta Stena Tatkina.Vstupaja v romanticheskie otnoshenija, my nadeemsja, chto schaste pridet samo soboj. Odnako neredko vyjasnjaetsja, chto my ochen malo znaem o cheloveke, s kotorym sozdali paru. My ne predstavljaem, kak on ustroen, o chem dumaet, kak vyrazhaet ljubov, kakie u nego privychki, potrebnosti, kak on vedet sebja v konfliktnykh situatsijakh i pochemu.Otnoshenija nachinajut prichinjat bol. Chto zhe delat? Vo-pervykh, osoznat, chto otnoshenija vazhnee, chem potrebnosti kazhdogo partnera. A vo-vtorykh, uchitsja ponimat drug druga.Sten Tatkin sinteziroval znanija iz raznykh oblastej, sozdav psikhobiologicheskij podkhod k terapii par. Pervaja oblast - nejronauka (osnovy raboty mozga), vtoraja - teorija privjazannosti (biologicheskaja potrebnost ustanavlivat svjazi s drugimi ljudmi) i tretja - biologija chelovecheskogo vozbuzhdenija (rech idet ne o seksualnom vozbuzhdenii, a o regulirovanii emotsij).Prochitav knigu, vy uznaete:- kak sozdat prostranstvo pary, v kotorom kazhdyj partner budet oschuschat sebja v bezopasnosti;- kak uravnoveshivat dostoinstva i nedostatki drug druga;- kak stat glavnymi ljudmi drug dlja druga;- kak vozrodit ljubov cherez zritelnyj kontakt;- kak pravilno ssoritsja i predotvraschat konflikty;- kakie ritualy pomogut ne terjat kontakt;- kak sokhranit seksualnoe vlechenie drug k drugu.Nas ne uchat vystraivat otnoshenija, poskolku bytuet mnenie, chto vse dolzhno slozhitsja samo soboj. Kniga Stena Tatkina vospolnit probely i stanet dorozhnoj kartoj, kotoraja pomozhet luchshe ponimat partnera i samikh sebja.Ot avtoraOtnoshenija - eto slozhno. No my neredko vstupaem v nikh, imeja minimum pomoschi i podderzhki. Net, ja ne predlagaju vam ispolzovat v otnoshenijakh s partnerami standartnye skhemy iz 1-2-3 shagov. Zdes net i ne mozhet byt nikakikh instruktsij, dovodjaschikh protsess do avtomatizma. My ne roboty. To, chto podkhodit odnoj pare, sovsem ne objazatelno khorosho dlja drugoj. No vy v ljubom sluchae ne dobetes tolka, esli budete, kak mnogie, dejstvovat vslepuju i zhdat, chto otnoshenija slozhatsja sami soboj.Sledovatelno, nuzhny obosnovannye rekomendatsii, kotorye pomogut vam postroit nadezhnye otnoshenija.Ja ubezhden, chto luchshee ponimanie togo, kak funktsioniruet mozg - drugimi slovami, kak my ustroeny, - pozvolit delat osoznannyj vybor v otnoshenijakh. Nauchnye dannye svidetelstvujut, chto s biologicheskoj tochki zrenija ljudi zaprogrammirovany ne stolko na ljubov i garmoniju, skolko na borbu i dostizhenie voinstvennykh tselej. Eto plokhaja novost. No est i khoroshaja: nedavnie issledovanija pokazyvajut, chto my sposobny ustranit etu predraspolozhennost s pomoschju opredelennykh strategij i metodov. My mozhem prinjat spetsialnye mery, chtoby nastroitsja v pervuju ochered na ljubov. Eti strategii pomogut sozdavat stabilnye, garmonichnye otnoshenija, v kotorykh my budem natseleny na effektivnoe razreshenie konflikta (v sluchae ego vozniknovenija).Fishki knigiProstymi slovami objasnjajutsja osnovy teorii privjazannosti i nejrobiologiiV kazhdoj glave - uprazhnenija, kotorye pomogut zakrepit opisannye avtorom printsipy na praktikePrimery iz praktiki i interesnye metaforyKniga emkaja i kompaktnaja: more poleznoj informatsii ob otnoshenijakh avtor umestil v 200 stranitsRitualy, kotorye pomogut vam ostavatsja nastroennymi drug na drugaPravila khoroshej ssoryDlja kogo knigaDlja partnerov, kotorye nakhodjatsja v nachale otnoshenijDlja partnerov, kotorye prjamo sejchas perezhivajut slozhnyj periodDlja suprugov, kotorye khotjat uluchshit otnoshenijaDlja tekh, kto sobiraetsja vstupit v otnoshenija i khochet luchshe ponjat ikh priroduOb avtoreSten Tatkin - doktor psikhologicheskikh nauk, assistent klinicheskogo professora otdelenija semejnoj meditsiny Kalifornijskogo universiteta v Los-Andzhelese. Sozdatel psikhobiologicheskogo podkhoda v parnoj terapii (psychobiological approach to couple therapy, PACT). Soavtor knigi Love and War in Intimate Relationships ("Ljubov i vrazhda v intimnykh otnoshenijakh").Perevodchik: Stepanova ViktorijaRedaktor: Khamitova Inna

Before you succeed at parenting, you need to succeed as a couple! Baby Bomb is the resource you need when a new baby turns your life—and your romantic relationship—upside down. A baby is a blessing—and also a completely life-altering event. If you’re like many new parents, nothing could have fully prepared you for the exhaustion of late-night feedings, the explosive diapers, the evaporation of your free time, the pure joy, and the moments of pure terror. In the midst of these hazy, early months, it’s normal to feel overwhelmed. And when you’re overwhelmed, it’s easy to put your romantic relationship on the back burner. But, more and more, research shows that in order to be the best parents you can be, you and your partner need to make sure that your needs—as a couple—are also met. Written by a psychologist and relationship expert, Baby Bomb offers powerful tools based in psychology and neurobiology to help you and your partner co-parent and co-partner as a solid and supportive team—while also cultivating mad love for each other! You’ll find more than just “tips” for better parenting and partnering; you’ll discover how a secure-functioning relationship is essential for raising happy, healthy kids. This isn’t a book with advice about how to have a romantic candlelit dinner while your baby is screaming in the other room. It’s a road map for getting on the same page about your expectations as parents, about your needs as humans, and about how to maintain a strong and lasting relationship in the face of, well, a baby bomb.

"If you and your prospective partner adopt the principles and skills I describe here, your relationship will be successful—not just for starters, but for the long run." An indispensable guide for any couple ready to set the foundation for a loving and lasting union Committing fully to a loving partnership—a "we"—can be one of the most beautiful and fulfilling experiences you’ll ever have. Yet as anyone in a long-term relationship will tell you, it can also be one of the most challenging. Almost half of all first marriages end in divorce, and chances go down from there. So how do you beat the odds? "All successful long-term relationships are secure relationships," writes psychotherapist Stan Tatkin. "You and your partner take care of each other in a way that ensures you both feel safe, protected, accepted, and secure at all times." In We Do, Tatkin provides a groundbreaking guide for couples. You’ll figure out whether you and your partner are right for each other in the long term, and if so, give your relationship a strong foundation so you can enjoy a secure and lasting love. Highlights include: Create a shared vision for your relationship, the key to a strong foundation • It’s all about prevention—learn tools and techniques for preventing problems before they occur • Understand how to work with the psychological and biological influences in your relationship—neuroscience, arousal regulation, attachment theory, and more • Numerous case studies with helpful examples of healthy and unhealthy interactions, sample dialogues, and reflections • Dozens of exercises—the newlywed game, reading facial expressions, and many more fun and serious practices to develop intimacy and security • Handling conflict—how to broker win-win outcomes • Build a loving relationship that helps you thrive and grow as both individuals and a couple Common interests, physical attraction, shared values, and good communication skills are the factors most commonly thought to indicate a good partnership. Yet surprisingly, current research reveals that these are only a small part of what makes for a healthy marriage—much more important are psychological and biological influences. With We Do, you’ll learn to navigate these elements and more, giving your relationship the best possible chance to succeed.

Everybody wants someone to love and spend time with, and searching for your ideal partner is a natural and healthy human tendency. Just about everyone dates at some point in their lives, yet few really understand what they're doing or how to get the best results. In Wired for Dating, psychologist and relationship expert Stan Tatki -author of Wired for Love-offers powerful tips based in neuroscience and attachment theory to help you find a compatible mate and go on to create a fabulous relationship.Using real-life scenarios, you'll learn key concepts about how people become attracted to potential partners, move toward or away from commitment, and the important role the brain and nervous system play in this process. Each chapter explores the scientific concepts of attachment theory, arousal regulation, and neuroscience. And with a little practice, you'll learn to apply these exercises and practical techniques to your dating life.If you're ready to get serious (or not!) about dating, meet your match, and have more fun, this book will be your guide.

What happens between partners that makes love turn to war? How can couples therapists help deescalate the battles? Two leading therapists apply the latest neuroscience research on emotional arousal to help couples regulate each other’s emotions, maintain secure attachment, and foster positive, enduring relationships. The neurobiologically-grounded and sensitive approach set forth by Solomon and Tatkin in this book is sure to transform the way clinicians understand and treat couples in therapy.