Thomas P. Hanna

This book introduces you to twelve Elves who chose to help Santa back in the early times before he became a public figure. He wanted to bringing joy to the good people all around the world and they wanted to help him do that but without being seen.You have never heard their names before but you may not soon forget them once you know a bit about them. They solved these practical problems with attention to detail plus the use of different forms of magic energy. How to deliver many, many gifts all around the world in one night - with flying reindeer.How to label all those packages so they will get to the right homes worldwide. How to avoid missing any deliveries because the sleigh made a wrong turn. How to fit more packages than should fit within Santa's sleigh - in part by using cooked pumpkin smell magic. And also how to fit more packages than should fit within his special bag at any one time to get them inside the homes once he was there. They have all now returned to the Elfin homeland and other activities leaving things to new volunteer Elves who are happy to continue the good work.

Committee Opposing Devils (C.O.D.) members hunt down and exorcise demons passing as humans whenever they can. When a woman who senses the presence of devils reports something big and important has changed they interpret a signal seen in the sky worldwide as a warning to the devils everywhere. The devils (who indeed are passing among us) fight back as the C.O.D. call for mass volunteer exorcism rituals worldwide. They use what they know of humans to twist, slow down, and frustrate those planned events. Finally a major human C.O.D. egotist and a top demon have it out in a personal rivalry that creates more questions than it answers.

"Hot Tub Powwow": The police discover three dead men in a hot tub who appear to have simultaneously shot one another to death. They must find the connections between the three men in the tub, a mobster, and a missing entrepreneur - and then prevent other murders. "A Star Too Bright": Cross-dressing performer Lady Irma is found murdered in a dressing room at the same moment she is seen by TV cameras entering a car and driving off outside the theater. The investigators must figure out who that was, where that person is now, and what was Irma's connection to Senator Smithe in order to determine who killed Jason/Irma and why. "Paternal Reaction": While their father hunts for his two pre-teen sons, suspected of abducting a toddler, police search for the little boy and deal with some of his peculiar relatives. As so often in life, things are not as straightforward as they may first appear. "Mayan Marvel Plan": Jim Evans, newly hired tutor for two boys just taken in by a dying wealthy old man learns they are to be used in some way in an occult ceremony very soon. A mystery lady leaves Evans hints about the Ritual of Transposition in which an old person takes over the body of a young one and lives on in it. Evans must decide whether the boys need his protection and if so how to do that among stonewalling and deceptions from several major characters.

"Family Fake-Out": An adult daughter, eager to take control of the family business, plans to disguise herself and scare her father to death. But an unpleasant surprise other than the one she set up changes her situation. "Hidden Awareness": Ambitious Clare and Oliver Markand want her parents' money and are willing to kill them to get it - and her parents, the Parkers, sense this. The Markands set in motion an elaborate scheme to get her parents to take a trip which will get them out of their secure building and make them vulnerable. But the Parkers make their own arrangements which change the Markands' plans but does remove the Parkers from everyone's list of people to be removed. "Divine Manipulation": Bruce attacks disco dance clubs believing he is ordered to do so by God - actually a voice talking to him through a hidden radio - while someone demands payment from the owners to stop the slaughter. The Watusi warrior turned businessman club owner works with the police to deal with the ransom demands and continuing threats. Pieces come together and the gunman is identified and the search is on. But he eludes capture and shows up at the newest club for a surprise resolution. "Moving Targets": Robert Preston is to testify against a Mob boss and that man is determined to make sure he never makes it to the stand. The mobsters use first the hero's wife and then his young son to try to lure him into their cross-hairs but, bit-by-bit, Preston turns everything around even though he can't save a loved one.

Seven unrelated tales for grown-ups played for laughs."Love Drug Connections" Hunts for an aphrodisiac and a statue, both called Love Goddess, result in chases, lies, and comeuppances. "Funerals Are For Drama" Backers of an Indie film die suddenly and further funding depends on the actors' behavior at their funerals so the ambitious actors use several funerals for drama more than mourning. There are gag gifts placed in a casket; a missing arm; flowers delivered to the wrong funeral and stolen back; and rescuing valuable items from a cult group's funeral pyre."Misunderstandings" Two people forced by circumstance to temporarily share an office and a phone each suspect the other is conducting an illegal business - then the detective arives."The Store Angel" A man lingering in a store turns out to be more than he seemed when told to leave."You Can't Go Home Again..." Progress takes an unexpected form in a small town."An Interview With the Devil" Beelzebub enjoys a moment in the spotlight."Check It Out" A computerized grocery checkout counter meets resistance from a customer.

This is another collection of 150 deliberate lies. The letters supposedly sent by various companies, businesses, professionals, or government agencies are fakes, each and every one. They include responses, alerts, or announcements from many sources to single persons or whole populations. They are exaggerations in several modes even if some might seem close to what you have seen in actual communications. They are intended to evoke laughs even as they might make you pay closer attention to the wording in routine communications. None is intended to be a veiled reference to any actual company, business, professional, or government agency or communication. There are no hidden meanings in them. Some respondents make serious points, it is the letters they are reacting to that presented the laughable statements or questions. Naivet is a reality. Slice & Dice Hospital is not preserving tissues from an operation as an art object. A produce store denies that blood oranges are treats for vampires. A landlocked town plans a harbor seal festival to attract tourists. The Pilferpruf Hardware Store offers a foiked shoplifter his pants back. A college cancels the crop dusing course when all their planes crash. A salon insists that fake nails are glued on, not screwed on. An acupuncture center explains what to expect. A dentist won't try to transplant hog tusks for a macho look. A library cancels a "Shoot the author" photo op due to misunderstandings. State Lottery Headquarters deals with too many winners.

There is great tension in the ant colony since something special is going on in the Council. Nac, "the voice of practicality", and Kar, "the voice of idealism", are preparing for the critical Council debate on whether to authorize continued development of the thermofungal energy technology which could get out of control in only an instant and destroy them all but which its proponents argue is essential and safe since no accidents will ever happen because their kind are too smart and careful to allow them. Personalities, ambitions, facts, unknowables, and deliberate distractions and distortions are involved as the colony's major players face off to debate whether anything their kind can do they should do or whether some things are too dangerous to risk doing. Outside the Council Chamber the security forces search far and wide through the ant hill for the group of dissenters calling themselves the "Movement to Save our Colony" (MSC) who are suspected, correctly, of planning to destroy the essential fungal spores kept in guarded locations and thereby make further development of that dangerous technology impossible. The situation becomes desperate and the questions academic when there is an fungal spore accident with resulting devastation and only the MSC have the essential chemical material to prevent complete disaster.